


A matter of loyalty

by baosjk89



Category: Formula 1 RPF
Genre: Angst, Developing Relationship, Drama, F/M, Formula One, Friendship/Love, M/M, Male Friendship, Male Homosexuality, Points of View, RPF, RPS - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-11-15
Updated: 2014-01-30
Packaged: 2018-01-01 16:35:17
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 45
Words: 86,169
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1046091
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/baosjk89/pseuds/baosjk89
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Webber decides to take out his frustration on Vettel ... but is faced with a wall called Raikkonen.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Webber

It was on the internet, on the newspapers, on the mouths of all journalists. Vettel has again snubbed them all. It seemed endless, and each year it got worse. The boy must be feeling like a God, Webber thought.

Someone had to do something, and with that in mind Webber went for Vettel’s room.

He had to make things right, he could not let Vettel’s arrogance destroy the entire paddock, he won’t let him, that was not acceptable. One thing is fight on the tracks, but lately the things were getting out of control, it’s getting too personal.

Webber was not blind, he saw the other drivers, many of them knew were getting pissed off with Vettel , he also saw the teams talking and trying to fix the mess that the response from his drivers to Vettel would and have caused .

Vettel was winning everything against everyone, in and out of the lanes .

Approaching Vettel’s room, Webber saw Raikkonen .

He and the whole paddock knew that if they wanted to take Vettel down in a way that was somehow dishonest or that could really hurt him , they would first have to go through Houvinen and Raikkonen .

Yes, it seemed crazy to want to fuck someone else, but the boy was infuriating everyone, including the public .

Everyone except those two Finns, and that Webber could not understand .

He didn’t know Heikki very well, the man was a shadow, always close but yet so far. But he was always around when Sebastian was present .

But Raikkonen was a more complicated issue , everyone knew him and everyone respected him, there are no exceptions , and yet Webber still felt as if he were walking on thin ice .

Raikkonen was a good person , quiet , do not like gossip and intrigues , so Webber could not understand how Vettel could have the loyalty of someone like Raikkonen , yet there they were, glued, like nail and flesh.

Despite the silence , and the poker face while boos were delivered or while other drivers and the press countered Vettel ‘s words , there was no doubt that if Raikkonen thought that something might actually come to hurt Vettel , he would act in his defense .

With that in mind Webber approached him.

\- Good morning !

Raikkonen who was sitting on the floor , leaning against the wall , just nodded .

\- Do you know if Vettel is inside?

\- I know .

What a fucking answer! Webber thought .

\- Thank you .

Before he could knock the door , Webber felt a hand hold his ankle, it was Raikkonen, he still not looking his face, but have finally took off the sunglasses .

\- I believe that it’s not a good time. Let him calm down .

\- What ?

\- Leave it be.

\- I’ll talk to him, you want it or not , his attitude with other drivers are not fair . He cannot go around doing and saying whatever he wants without consequences . Everyone knows that, even you . Stop pretending to be blind!

\- I believe that you need to calm down too .

\- I ?! I !? I ‘m calm, I just need to put a little lesson of humility in that boys head ! Besides what are you doing here outside ?

Raikkonen get up, and finally looked at Webber, the left side of his face was red, as if something had hit him .

It didn’t take much time to Webber joined the facts . How can he? How Sebastian can do this ? How Raikkonen can accept it?

\- Nothing will change . Go , relax and then come back . Then you will talk to him .

\- What happened ?

\- Accident.

\- Raikkonen... Seriously , what happened ?

\- An accident , these things happen .

\- You cannot be serious !

\- I am . Go Webber , and come back when you are more calm .

\- I ‘m fucking calm !

\- You was . Until you see me… now you are exalted … go … please.

Webber could not understand , but decided to obey. How could Raikkonen seem to scream without even raise his voice ? Anyway, he was right , Webber had lost his cool .

Moving away from the door, he felt a hand on his shoulder, Raikkonen had that smirk on his face .

\- He wasn’t changed. What the people see that bother them so much, has always been there . But back then nobody wanted to see.

Raikkonen stop in front of the door and leaned his hands and his forehead on the door , then took a deep breath , and looked back to Webber .

And then Webber saw something different , it was not the usual coldness , it wasn’t joy neither annoyance. It was something different . It was beautiful to look at. Webber could only see and feel pride, admiration and love in that eyes.

\- Despite everything , he has never left me . In my glory, in my decline and in my return , he never abandoned me . He deserves everything that he achieved … when everyone called him a crash kid , and they said that you would be a such strong teammate that would end up with him, others would have given up, won’t be able to handle the pressure, but he saw that as a way to be stronger. This title is his. And many others will come.

\- So this is it. You no longer want to fight for a title ? That’s it. Bow your head and accept that your time is over ?

Smiling , Raikkonen said:

\- It was not me who gave up, and you know that .

It have hurt , and Webber was pretty sure that it was on purpose.

No, everything is wrong , what have happened to all those years he spend in RedBull? How can it all changed and he had not noticed ? Webber could not think anymore , he grabbed Raikkonen and shook him , he was furious , he needed to release that anger.

At any other time , Webber won’t even thing of raise his voice to Raikkonen , probably would consider him another of Vettel’s victim, but not today , today Webber was frustrated and Raikkonen was between him and the one that caused him so much anger .

\- I do not understand how you accept it ! Every time he makes a statement that we do not work enough, that we are lazy, it includes you ! You do not care ? He disdains our efforts, and it seems that he have forgotten all the advantage he had over us ! He has the best car on the grid , he has an entire team focused on him and his needs ! And I come here and see it ! He did this to you ,didn’t? He’s probably in there , listening to everything , and don’t have the courage to get out explain himself! If he is everything you say, tell me why he is not here between us , to defend you?

Raikkonen had not changed his expression . And it bothered Webber … how? How? HOW ? ! And as if Raikkonen could hear his thoughts, he smiled, he looked even more open ,and his eyes appear to shine. Is that happiness? Though Webber.

\- Are you feeling better now?

\- ? !

\- Good. We will each other in Japan , Webber !

Dazed Webber release Raikkonen. Raikkonen turned and entered the room and locked the door.

Webber stood there for a time.

What had just happened ?

He did not understand it very well , but one thing was right , regardless of the reasons why Raikkonen was outside the Vettel’s room, he had succeeded in one thing , he prevented Webber from talk with Vettel , Webber have open up his soul and threw all his frustration on him and not on Vettel … and Webber could not see the reason why Raikkonen did it, but then when it come to Raikkonen and Vettel relationship , nobody was never fully understand it, perhaps Heikki and Horner understand , but the rest of the paddock don’t … Hmmph …

While returning to his room Webber started to feel a little better, soon he will be out of this circus full of money , politics , manipulation and deceit , which sometimes had a few cars in the middle , it would not be part of his life no more . It was sad , but at the same time comforting.

And thinking about the conversation he had , remembering the emotions in Raikkonen eyes, he notice a loyalty so strong that formed a wall that Webber doubted anyone could pass , he could only thing of one thing … how that spoiled brat was lucky in life


	2. Vettel

Sebastian was furious...and he doesnt even know why.  
He have an idea of why he was upset,but the rage come from out of nowhere.  
He had said somethings without thinking, then the press made it seems more than it was, and the other drivers became upset with him. He cannot understand...why they are angry at him?

They know the press, the heat of the moment, they all had said their own share of stupid quotes and thoughts before...so why they cant ignore what he say?

Horner had gave him that serious look, telling him to be more carefull, looking at him like if he was a child...Its not that he doesnt like it, its just that  
sometimes its too much, he is a adult, responsible, three times world champion, he is not the kid from Toro Rosso, not anymore.

Heikki on the other hand after hearing and seeing the way that some of the drivers, of the paddock workers, even some of fans are to him are more protective than ever.  
Always close...Sebastian can fell Heikkis eyes on his back, it was nice, cause in a brute way, Heikki always passed to him the feeling of safety.

Sebastian was glad that it is Korea and then Japan, at least there he believe he wont have the public problem...he fell himself shakes only with the tought of what it would be if he was in Europe...But who cares? He say it wont mind him, that he does not care, and its starting to become truth...  
But theres one driver that he havent talk yet...

He have read what Kimi say about his declaration. And it was what he expectated, no attack, no offense, just the same talk that anyone can say what wants...But he needed to hear it from Kimi, he doesnt know why but he needed...  
It wanst difficult to find Kimi, he was siting on a bench, probably sleeping...So Seb decided to make a surprise. Looking both sides to make sure that they are alone, he came and hug Kimi from behind...the look on Kimi's face was worth of the coming lecture

\- Whats your problem?

Seb can only smile...as Kimi mumbled something half english, half finnish, half noises

\- I cant resist, you know that!

Kimi only stared at him, so Seb decided to do all the work as always, he take off Kimis sunglasses and cap.

\- So?

\- Are you upset with me?

\- No. Why would I be?

\- You disappear. Didnt come to talk to me, doenst appear on the dinners, and we are in the same hotel!

\- Oh that...

\- Yes that!

\- Im tired, if I appear I would eat, drink, talk ... and no sleep.

\- Ok...I'll buy that for now...

And Seb sat beside him...they stayed there in silence for a while, then Kimi put his head in Sebastian shoulder and closes his eyes.

\- Kimi, its not that I dont like it. But the others can appear at any moment and see us.

\- Theres nothing to see.

\- I disagree, your head in my shoulder is something to see, and they will talk.

\- About what? Im tired and in need of a immovable object to lean on and sleep...You are a immovable object.

\- Thats was very romantic Kimi, my heart is even beating faster.

\- Shut up.

Before Seb can even return the kindness, Kimi was already sleeping.

In the corner of his eyes he could see two people coming, and he froze!  
Kimi can say its normal, its a friendship thing, that there is nothing wrong...but the way the things are those days Sebastian cannot help but to be afraid that the people can decided to use Kimi as a way to hit him. But he soon relaxed when he recognize the two people as Christian and Heikki

\- It may look cute, but its not a good place to demonstrate affection to another driver. Even it is Raikkonen.  
Heikki didnt say a thing, only looked, first at Kimi then at Sebastian...and looked away.

\- He is sleeping?!

Sebastian cannot say if its was amusement or angry, but he have always know how Christian see their relationship, he have it on is mind the day Christian had stopped him in the middle of the way to a encounter with Kimi only to say:  _"Be carefull with this. You two are showing too much. The people are talking."_  Of course he try to argue, saying its normal, theres nothing wrong, that when he was close to Button nobody said anything, but then Christian say  _"Its different, the way you are with Button and the way you are with Raikkonen. Even he that normally so serious in public are letting some emotions appear, and some of them are not just showing themselfs they're screaming for the entire world to see."_  To Sebastian its all their imagination.

\- Yeah...I believe he is. And before you guys say something, we are here because he was tired and the others are bothering him.

\- Seb...You know that there is a thing called bedroom, dont you?

\- Okay...Okay...dont be mad at me! Its him that is holding me here!

That was the worst choice of words to say at that moment, cause was soon was the words leave his mouth, Heikki got close and get into action, giving a little slap on Kimi's head.  
Seb can only think that now the third world war would begin, the look on Kimi's face was of shock and then something else, Seb soon recognize that if he didnt do anything, Heikki and Kimi would started a fight...or not...but it was better dont push his luck...so before Kimi could get up, he lay a hand on his shoulder

\- I think its better we go to our rooms. You will sleep better there.

Kimi was tired and agreed letting himself be guided by Christian, Seb then look at Heikki...that bastard! He knows that he wont let Kimi do anything stupid.

\- I agree with Horner.

\- I can see that.

\- ....

\- So, there is a race tomorrow, I will go to sleep.

\- Horner is right, they talk. Nobody say anything because they respect Raikkonen, but they are getting angry at you, and if this angry continues to grown, theyre gonna attack you were it hurts, and everyone can see its Raikkonen.

\- The other drivers wont do it.

\- Im not talking about the drivers.

Seb can only look at Heikki and his impassive face...

\- They can do whatever they want, I will still being the best among them, I will continue to win, and if it will cause any reaction, it will be me getting more and more will to win everything against everyone.

And with that Sebastian left Heikki and go to his room. He knows Heikki and his tough love methods, he knows that Heikki only wants the best for him, and probably wanted to hear exactly what he had said, but it doesnt change the fact that it upset him...

After the race.

Sebastian was feeling fantastic, another win. The team was happy, he was happy, just a little tired and in need of a lot of water!  
But of course Webber cannot be happy for him, its really a shame what happened in his race, but he is not responsible for his lack of luck!  
In his room, Seb decided to enter in the internet, just to see the news and maybe talk to Hanna, and that was not a good choice, he look at what have been said about him, the car, the team...He was happy that guys like Lauda are praising him... but all that hate, it doesnt hurt him, it got him angry and angry...so angry that he smashed the first thing he saw, and didnt notice that Raikkonen had entered in the room, so when he felt someone behind him, he simply doesnt cared, he turn around and punched him.  
Raikkonen had fallen on the ground, holding his face and looking at him, eyes wide open, in shock... _Oh GOD what I did?_

\- Kimi! Im so sorry...I didnt mean to...

\- Its okay.

\- What?!

\- You didnt notice that it was me. But the things could be a lot worse, what if it was Britta?

\- Oh God! Oh God! I...I..I wasnt thinking! And of course it wont be Britta, she knock first!

Seb sat on the bed, holding his head...why he became so mad over nothing?

He fell a hand on his thigh and looked to Kimi

\- I already gone through this too. For more that we want to stay detach to all of this, sometimes its too much. So its okay.

\- You can say that but...

\- I will punch you ...but I will only do it when youre distracted and not expecting it!

Kimi was smiling and then he laid Sebastian on the bed.  
Sebastian let Kimi guide the situation, and cannot help but blush when Kimi lay beside him and they spent a time in silence. He loved those moments, when nothing is said between them, they only need to know that they are there for each other.  
Then he felt the bed move, and when he turned, Kimi was looking at him.

\- I will go outside because if I stay here I will fall asleep.

\- So sleep. I have no problem with your constant need to take a nap.

\- Good to know. I will strech my leg. I will be right back.

And then he leave the room, letting Seb alone with his thoughts

In the beginning he questions himself and the universe on the reason why a guy like Kimi would have interrest on him. He was shy at parties, too green, and overexcited about the races. But when on a party, Kimi appeared from out of nowhere, grabbed his shoulders and said  _"Youre the new kid. One advice, dont do like me or the other guys. Want to win? Be cold, be cruel. You are the best there was, youre the best there is, and youre the best that'll ever be!"_  and then he shoved a bottle on his face and dissapeared.

He remember that Button came and said that Raikkonen liked him cause he never spoke to the newbies...and he remembered how red he became, that even Christian and Tommi were making fun of him.  
His thoughts are interrupted when he heard noise from outside

"...he is a coward..."  
"...why he isnt here between you and me..."  
"...to protected you..."

Webber! Sebastian get out of bed and was gonna to open the door when he heard

"...doesnt need to protect me..."

And he stopped, and remember what Heikki say. They are right, he wont interfere. He and Kimi, they never have, and probablly never will interfere in each other fights, not directly, they know are each other was, and know that they can look for advice or confort in each other. But they are arrogant guys, directly defend each other was worse than let it happen and then talk about it...or ignore it like Kimi do...  
That is the right thing to do. Thats the way the things are for over 6 years, and thats the way it would continue to be.  
Not much longer the door opened and Kimi entered the room.

\- Webber wanted to talk to you.

\- About what?

\- Dont know.

And Kimi laid on the bed.

\- I already streched my legs and back...so Im taking the invitation to sleep.

He lay down beside Raikkonen, and thought:  _why not have a family travel?_

\- Hey Kimi!

\- ...  
\- Wanna come to Japan with me?

\- And Heikki and Horner?

\- hummm...yes?

\- Ok.

\- Really?!

\- Yeah they're nice.

\- Thats great. We can talk about so many things. Did you know about Horner's child?

\- Sleeping, Seb, sleeping.

\- Ok.


	3. Raikkonen - part 1

When Raikkonen had seen him for the first time it was on a party...okay...maybe not...but it was on that party that he talked with the boy for the first time.  
He remember the look on the boy's face, he probably scarred the boy for life. But he had gave the kid a good advice.  
They meet again in the following year. The kid was driving for Toro Rosso, the crash kid, they said...but hey...he himself had made his share of crashes, Hamilton too, even Alonso, and what they all have in common, they are the bests, they all crashed because they tried to go beyond the limit...so yes, he had seen that the kid can be greater.

\- Hey!

And he swear that he almost seen the soul leaving the boy's body.

\- H-h-hi!

\- It is Sebastian isn't?

\- Yeah.

\- Kimi.

And he extended his hand...the boy have a firm handshake, good sign.

\- So you're always this quiet or it just with me.

\- Yes...No...I mean no, I'm not always quiet... its cause I never tought that you would talk to me again.

\- Well I'm talking...

And then silence again...yes the beginning was not easy for them, but eventually they get along, they found the little things they have in common, and the all the things they are very different.

They lived close, they visited eachother, making jokes in and out the paddock. And during those times he was seeing Sebastian becoming better and better, the mistakes are less frequently and the hunger for victories was becoming greater.

Raikkonen didnt deny that he was scared at first, he was good, one of the best and he knows that, but Sebastian had something more than any of them. But the people didnt seen it. They didnt see the changes that he had seen, he knows Seb in a more personal level, he only need a victory, and when that come, Seb won't stop anymore, not until he had everything.  
That victory eventually came, but maybe the age didnt helped the boy...

\- All they talk about is Webber! Look how good Webber is! Webber had dominated all of his teammates!

\- Its too soon to tell.

\- No its not. They all expect me to help him, to lower my head and accept everything just because I'm the newbie and just got on the team.

\- But you wont do it...

\- NO I WON'T. I didn't come here to be second! I'm here to WIN! And I will not gonna make it letting him pass by and being a good boy

\- So don't be a good boy. Remember what I told you, you need to be ...

\- Cold and ruthless because...

\- Nobody remembers the second place.

Sebastian smiled and gave him a big hug. Raikkonen was scared, he was helping Horner in the creation of a monster...but he also never felt so much pride.

But life isn't always fair and good, and Raikkonen had to leave F1.

He loved the rally, its new challenge...and everything was going well, he still talking to Seb, sometimes he visited him, but one day without any warning Seb appeared during an event.  
And then there was caos on earth...the press, the fans...everyone was recording that moment.  
They could barely speak , so they decided to meet later in the hotel room.

\- I got a call from Christian. Saying that I shouldn't came here, that Helmut is getting mad. That it is too much exposition.

\- And?

\- I'm already here don't I? I miss you in the paddock. I want you to come back.

\- My time in F1 is finished, Seb.

_ It's not true. You are trying to convince yourself about it.

\- Look , did you come here only to upset me? If so, theres no need for you to be here, I can watch you win those races on tv and do it myself!

\- So it is it...you are gonna to lay down and let the time bury you, until nobody remembers your name! Nobody remembers the second place its not what you said!

\- I'm World Champion! Become one first then you can talk to me about it!

The silence was so big that it felt like there was another person on the room.

\- Okay. I will.

\- What?

\- I will become a world champion. It's not because of you, it's because I deserve, I'm the best out there...and you will turn your fucking tv on and will see with the entire world while I write my name in the history books.

\- Dear Odin, and I thought you couldn't get more arrogant!

\- I can. But you are one of the people that were capable to see beyond that.

\- Get out!

And the boy didnt move...

\- I say...GET OUT!

Raikkonen won't forgot Sebastian's face, he was sad and it was his fault, but he can't control himself.

_ GET OUT!

...and win this championship ... Raikkonen thought as Sebastian walked away.  
  
It didnt take much time to them meet again...living close to each other have certain disadvantages.

\- Are you all right?

\- Yeah.

\- The championship is coming to an end.

\- I know.

\- I can be the champion!

\- I know.

\- I just...wanted to tell you...so...bye.

This time it will be different, Raikkonen had prepared himself to be more sensitive.

\- Seb!

\- What?

\- Good luck!

And Raikkonen gave Seb his best smile...the boy was gone, but in his place there is a man that he respected.  
Later on that year, while Jenni was out, doing whatever she does, Raikkonen turned the tv to see the last race, to watch him win the championship.  
Then he read on some place, that Seb had said that he are his inspiration... _Oh great Odin what amazing feeling_...Raikkonen was so proud of himself, and was even more proud of Seb, that later he decided to call him.

\- Hello.

\- Seb?

\- Kimi!

\- Congratulations!

\- Thank you...I'm gonna to visit you when I get back...

\- Don't!...Go enjoy your victory with your family and girlfriend...

\- And friends...that include you!

\- Thanks Seb.

\- I really did it...I really did it! I can barely believe!

\- Yes you did.

\- But what I do now?! I mean I know that I won, and I will try to win again next year...but...

\- No buts...you won't try to win...YOU WILL WIN.

\- Woah...and then you says that I'm becoming too arrogant! You aren't helping in that matter either.

\- I know.

\- You're suposed to say that its all my fault...that I'm a bastard...

\- But its true, you're a arrogant and selfish brat...but I also have my fault on this... sometimes I think I had boosted your ego...but you got the right to be a bastard.

\- Dude , You and Christian are spoiling me

\- Hehehe...go have your fun Seb...and...I'm proud of you!

\- ... I love you Kimi, really do!

\- Same here.

Raikkonen sat on his sofa with Peppi, and he thought about the first time he met Seb and how the boy had grown over the years.  
Raikkonen knew that the world had not seen all the kid's potential, it was just the beginning...and maybe the kid was right, maybe his time in F1 isnt over yet, maybe it's time to find a way back to where he belong.


	4. Raikkonen - part 2

As soon as Raikkonen got the news, he called his mother and his brother and then Seb.   
He was back in F1 ... there were fears that the Lotus was a weak car, maybe Williams would be a better choice ... but everything was already decided.

Sebastian won his second title ... and was all excited, Raikkonen could have seen him, since he also received an invitation to one of the FIA gala, but decided to not go.  
Late that night, Raikkonen's phone rang.

\- Who is Bi?

\- You are? You should havewarned me.

\- You know what I'm talking about!

\- Congratulations Seb...

\- You looks good in black!

\- ?!?

\- I saw you with Lotus overalls. You looks good in black.

\- Christian let you drink?

\- Yes .. almost wanted to kill me ... I almost said that I love you, on the stage, to everyone hear.

\- Oh!

\- I have opened my heart! You could at least say something.

\- Something...

\- I've offended you?

\- No. I also love myself, it is natural that you feel the same.

\- Haha....funny ... I'm serious.

\- Me too ... you're important to me.

And that was the way that Raikkonen declared his love to Sebastian.

That was a tough year, the press and fans were making a fuss whenever they saw him.  
Raikkonen was tired of saying that, yes, they were friends.   
 _By Odin, he would do anything to them forget it._

The same questions as if it were not possible to have a friendship within the F1.

"Who do you think is gonna win?"  
"Who has the most points will win."

And Raikkonen remembers clearly, when in the Brazillian GP, he saw Seb's car spin on the track. he knew he couldn't do anything besides avoiding a crash.  
Raikkonen braked as if there is no tomorrow, fuck the points, fuck the car, that's all he could do for   
Seb, from there the boy was alone.

But that was enough, and Seb had won his third title.  
And Raikkonen received an invitation to a RedBull party.  
There was the first time he actually spoke with Heikki.

\- So?

\- So!

\- Happy for him?

\- Sure.

\- Really? It was he who won the title, not you.

\- I was no longer in the contention.

\- And if you were?

\- I would win.

\- How can you be so sure?

\- Because I'm that good.

\- He is better.

\- He has the best car on the grid, the best team, and everything is focused on him.

\- You too?! That is the losers excuse.

\- That's the truth. Sebastian is a great driver, in a great team,in one of the best cars...

Raikkonen noticed that Heikki liked Sebastian, but the other Finn did not know him and probably disliked his constant presence on Sebastian's life.

\- ... But everyone knows that to become a champion you need a junction of factors. Seb has all the factors at his disposal and knows how to use them.

\- You talk a lot.

\- Something tells me your approval means a lot to Seb.

\- And I think that no matter what I say, your morals and loyalty would still be untouchable to him .

\- It's truth. But won't hurt me to show you that I'm not a threat when off the track.

\- Why bother?

\- You're important to him, and it makes you important to me ...

After an exchange of cold stares and a fight of impassive faces, they started to talking about their country, hockey and drinks.

\- Good to see you guys get along!

\- We're just getting to know a little more about each other.

\- This is great. Kimi, didn't I told you how incredible Heikki is!

\- You said he was a Greek God.

\- No, no, no ... it was Coulthard who said this, not me,

Raikkonen could see that there he had a great ground for fun.Heikki was impassive and Seb still had some of his shyness.

Throughout the party he talked to Christian, tried to speak german with Britta, exchanged threatening glances with Marko, and was silent with Hanna.

Raikkonen met Seb again in end of the night, Sebastian was returning to the hotel with Hanna when he stopped and asked her to continue and turned back to talk to Raikkonen.

\- Three times!

Sebastian said raising three fingers.

\- How does it feels?

\- Relieved. I really started to thinking that I would lose the title

\- Well, next year I promise to give you more work.

\- You can try, old man.

\- You better respect me, brat.

And there was Raikkonen at that hotel in the middle of nothing, along with everyone from all the teams.   
Raikkonen actually came to believe that in this year the car would be more competitive, but he was wrong.  
The season haven't ended yet, and the title was already decided.  
This bothered him because he became the main attraction, for whom he would drive for, how good that would be, his motivation...all that bullshit...  
Raikkonen knew that he was not the only one going through hard times. He had seen that every time that Seb won, the people become enraged, and with each comment he made that some of the drivers become offended.  
And everyone wanted to know what he thought about it.   
So he decided to take refuge on a bench in a open area of the hotel ... there's nothing like a good nap.

Raikkonen was already in another world when two  
arms appeared out of nowhere and grabbed him...  
he only had time to think,  _"What the fuck!"_

"...I cannot resist.."

Sebastian was upset and thought that Raikkonen  
was angry with him, which was not true ... they both were tired from the press, public and the other drivers ...

To Raikkonen the year could already be over. he was tired, in need to cool the head, because he already had to worry about the next year.  
Without thinking he leaned his head on Seb's shoulder.  
With eyes closed he thought about how many times they already had done that.  
Seb was one of Raikkonen's favorite pillows.

But Raikkonen's thoughts were interrupted when someone slapped his head, when he opened his eyes, he saw Seb's frightened face, and Heikki...that bastard ...  
Before he could do anything Seb stopped him...and the kid was right, he was tired. So tired that he let Christian take him back to the room.

\- Kimi , you know that Heikki didn't do it to piss you off...

\- Relax, I know he's been wanting to slap me since last year

\- Ok ....hould I worry about it?

\- No.

Raikkonen could tell that Christian wanted to say something .

\- You gonna say what want?.

\- Kimi... look, you know I have nothing against your relationship with Seb , but I think you should be more distant.

\- Do you think it? Or Marko think it?

\- You know how those things work .

\- I know, and so I decided to ignore everything . I decide how to act , no one else .

\- And that's the problem ! Sebastian is inspired by you , he put you on a high stand, your opinion and approval means more to him than mine ... you do what you want he sees it, he loves it..... but he does the same he is considered an asshole .

\- So now it's my fault?

\- That's not what I mean.

\- ...

\- I only want the best for the team and for him ...

\- So everything is all right , you guys are winning everything , and he is happy .

\- The people are creating an aversion to him , that worries me , he says that it does not affect him , but something certainly does.

\- Fuck the others! Even if he is upset , winning is what matters to him ... and while he's winning he'll be fine.

\- Kimi , we cannot say that. He is no longer a child , he will not come to us for help .

\- He never came .

\- What ?

\- He never asked for help , even when he needs. You have faith in his potential to be a champion , do the same with his ability to overcome these moments

\- Kimi , I ...

\- Christian, I'm tired ... so... good night.

Raikkonen didn't know how he got on his bed , or how he slept , when he noticed it was already the next day.  
The race was good , a nice podium , but the atmosphere in the team was not the same anymore .

Raikkonen was very fond of the Lotus , the team members were great people... it was a pity that he have to leave them, but businesses are businesses .  
Lost in his thought, Raikkonen entered in Sebastian's room only to be greeted with a punch ... and the boy have a hell of a punch and he was much stronger now...  _" I have to admit Huovinen did a great job "_

\- I'm so sorry .

Raikkonen could see that it had affected Seb, and he found himself in a position to do something about it.  
Raikkonen lay down beside Seb, and let the silence embrace them, that was great, them needed it ... Raikkonen always knew that he had a soft spot when it came to Vettel , but since when Seb called him and said he almost spoke for everyone that he loved him , the things have changed ...  
Raikkonen always had love for Sebastian , wrong were those who thought that by loving each other, they had walk hand in hand and have a physically relationship... but no that is not the case, their love was above such things ...

In his reverie Raikkonen didn't notice that he was staring at Sebastian ...

\- I need to stretch my legs ...

Raikkonen was questioning himself about what his father would say ... probably would tell him that he is behaving like a little girl ...

\- Do you know if Vettel is inside?

Webber was another problem, he did not understand their relationship and didn't accept the fact that Sebastian was better .  
At least Raikkonen was glad to be able to make Webber go away. The world seemed to be united in the mission to depletes him physically and emotionally .

When Raikkonen entered the room he saw Sebastian standing , living in a Internal conflict ...  _" Oh Odin , I dont have time for it ... "_

\- I already streched my legs and back...so Im taking the invitation to sleep.

Raikkonen felt the bed moving when Sebastian laid down beside him ...  _" Please ... don't start talking ... "_

\- Wanna come to Japan with me?

\- And Heikki and Horner?.  
.  
.  
.

" the boy doesn't change ... " Raikkonen thought , but you know.... he can and will enjoy the ride.  
Raikkonen leaned his head on Sebastian's chest and with one arm brought him close.

\- Aren't you gonna sleep?

\- I just needed a better pillow .

And with that he can feel Sebastian pulling him closer .

\- Try not drool on me.


	5. Horner - part 1

That boy was fantastic. At first he made a lot of mistakes, but there was a lot raw talent. A little more of patience, a good tutor and the boy would be great.

Horner thought a lot about who would be a good tutor, he had at his disposal Coulthard and Webber. But Coulthard had let it clear that he was retiring.  
Horner at first didn't like it, cause Webber was much more competitive, and Horner was afraid that he would crush the boy...how wrong he was.

When the boy arrived in his team, he already have one victory, and his ego was something to be recognize.  
Horner always thought that such arrogance could only from the boy's own nature , but someone probably had gave him a confidence boost.  
Later he found out who that person was.

Vettel always was close to Raikkonen.  
Horner had seen that when he was looking at the boy's achievements.  
Raikkonen was known for being a very distant man, a funny and caring guy only to a very selected circle of people...and it surprised Horner that the boy have found a way inside that inner circle so soon.  
Horner thought that it was another good characteristic of the boy.  
If he could melt the Iceman, then he certally would melt the public.

Horner a found a hobby in observing that friendship from distance. Vettel didn't tell him a lot of things, his confidant has Tommi...and it was Tommi the one that truly knows what Vettel felt about Raikkonen's departure.  
So its was understandable why he became anxious when he was informed that Tommi was leaving.

Heikki was the name of Tommi's substitute, and Horner could see that Vettel didn't like his new trainner like he liked the former one. So Horner came to believe that now Vettel was without an confidant.  
But apart from the lack of camaraderie between Vettel and Heikki, he could see that the new trainner has showing his results, Vettel had became more stronger, losing little by little the kid appearance.

After a title and in the fight for the second one, Horner almost forget about what Raikkonen was in Vettel's life. Of course people always talked about the Iceman, but Vettel himself didn't talk about him anymore,  
Horner tought that Raikkonen has stayed in the past, and he was even more certain of that when he noticed the changes in Vettel and Heikki relationship, they're closer than never, they have their secrets looks and gestures, to him, Heikki was filled all the places left by Tommi and Raikkonen.

He like the new finnish guy, like the others he was quiet and profissional. But he cannot help but fell threatned everytime he noticed that Heikki was in the room, listening to everything and nobody had noticed him there.  
Horner started to believe that it was one of the reasons why Vettel became close to Heikki...Heikki was by all the means Vettel's eyes and ears, and Webber was the first to have fallen victim to that.

Horner was proud when he noticed that Vettel was becoming much more competitive. It was good for the team, he saw that was a vantage they had, and he encouraged that everyway he can. That was making Vettel a flawless driver, almost perfect.

But just when Horner was sure that Vettel had arrived in the same level of the legends, he had seen the crack in Vettel's armor. For two years he haven't heard Vettel say that name, but he would prefered that Vettel said it everyday than heard it just one time with all the emotional load that it was carrying.

Raikkonen had suffered an accident on the WRC, from what they had heard, it was serious and he was in the hospital.

When the news reached Vettel, Horner saw the kid fight to keep his composure in front of everyone, to show that he was unnafected by that.  
But when he tought he was alone with Heikki, Horner saw the effect that the news had over Vettel.  
It was clear to Horner that Vettel was devasted, Heikki was holding him, and he was somewhere between crying,laughing and shaking.

That had scared Horner.  
He saw that man became almost machine like when he was inside the car, and a predator when confronted with the psychological games of his adversaries...and there he was, unable to hold his emotions because of a crash, something normal in the sport.  
Horner saw in that moment that he had a problem on his hands.


	6. Horner - part 2

Horner had accompanied Sebastian when he decided to visit Raikkonen in the hospital. That was for the best interest of the team or so he had told Matsztchiz... he and Huovinen and came together with Vettel to handle any kind of situation. During all the flight Sebastian was asleep, so Horner decided to talk with Huovinen .

\- How he is doing?

\- Pretty well given the situation.

\- There's something that I should know about?

\- I believe that everything is under control.

\- Can you be honest with me Heikki, what is happening here? You know something, dont you think that I should be informed of it? Because what I'm seeing is something that is affecting my driver.

\- Sebastian is extremely profissional, doesn't matter what happened here or what will happen here, he will get in the car and win.

\- I know that, we taught him well, but you can understand my worry don't you? ... there is the human factor, that one we can never really control.

\- So lets hope that it's nothing too serious.

The hospital staff had inform them that Raikkonen was stable, but that he need to go into surgery to fix some internal injuries.  
The doctors had said that the force of the impact had broken his left arm, both of his legs, a contusion, he also had broken ribs, but what most worry them was the back injury...while they explained, Horner could see Vettel losing colour.

\- Can I see him?

\- Only parents can see him for now...

Horner was glad to hear that, what Vettel don't see won't affect him, but then a different voice changed everything.

\- He can visit him.

\- But sir, I was told that only...

\- I'm telling you that he can see my brother.

Horner had already seen Raikkonen's brother before, but haven't really talked or even spared a second glance at him. In the end of the corridor he could also see two young kids and a old woman...Vettel apparently also could see them and apparently knew them, because there is no other explanation for him to hug them...  
When the older woman had guided Vettel away, Horner tried to follow, but Raikkonen's brother stopped him.

\- Only family and close friends...

Horner could not argue with that, so he and Huovinen stayed outside waiting . Vettel returned twenty minutes later, eyes red.

\- We are returning...

\- What?

\- I have to train, I have a GP and a championship to win.

Once again Horner felt being left out of the decision or the reason behind it, but that was the decision he wanted Vettel to make since the beginning, so he decided to not argue. Huovinen on the other hand appear to be aware of everything, again.   
Horner could not let it happen, he got a team to manage and his driver was not being very clear about his intentions, Honer didn't want to impose himself, neither to interfere in Vettel's personal problems, but he needed to know the basics. So after the GP, after a second place from Vettel, he took a time to talk to him.

It wasn't easy, because he didn't wanted Huovinen close....When he finally got some time with Vettel without the big finn beside him or hiding in somewhere in the room, he make himself clear.

\- Sebastian are you all right?

\- I'm fine. Why the question?

\- It's just that this thing with Raikkonen is bothering me.

\- There is nothing to be worried about. I got a call from Rami, he said that everything is fine.

\- Rami?

\- Kimi's brother.

\- Oh...but that is not what I'm worried about.

\- So what it is? Its because of the second place? It is that doesn't? Alonso was much faster than me, I tried but I couldn't reach him, sorry.

\- Well it is and it isn't about it.

\- ...

\- I think that this friendship of yours is affecting your results. I don't know nothing about it, and I can manage what I don't know, you understand? I'm trying to have nothing against this, but I can't defend you, I can't support you if I don't know what is happening, I need the basic so I can work with something, or at least handle any collateral damage.

\- There's nothing to you to know about, he is my friend only that.

\- It's not only that! He suffered an accident and you lost it, then you decided that you will going to visit him without warning anyone, later you throw out everything you had just decide and return to train, came here and get a second place after make some mistakes that you normally don't make. So sorry if I offend you, but that to me this is serious...it is affecting your results, your concentration.

\- Have you seen the same accident that I? It was serious, he could have died or have some permanent injury, so I'm sorry if you don't care about the important people of your life, but I care!

Vettel got up and started to leave only to stop...

\- You're right, I lost it, I didn't know how serious his condition has, I had to see it myself...and yes I had returned to train and you know why? He had told me to suck it up and stop feeling sorry for him, to return here and train because I had a championship to fight for...So I'm affected you can be sure of it, cause I should have returned here to win and the best I could get was a second place...I should have crushed them all, I had more reason than any of them to win this fucking race!

Horner could only stand there in shock...

_ Are you satisfied? There is your basics, yours need to know facts.

Horner is a good manager, and like one. he noticed that now he was became the problem and he need to do something fast.

\- I'm sorry!

The look on Sebastian face told Horner that he was on the right direction.

\- I should had not doubt your motives. But I'm your boss, I answer to the team results, I had to have a need to know facts so I can work with something. I'm not against you here, I'm trying to help, so when somebody try to attack or question you I can defend you and your reasons. I hope you understand that.

\- I do.

\- Are we ok?

\- We are.

That was the moment when Horner discovered that he cannot remove Raikkonen of the equation, Raikkonen was already there and had been there before he.  
If you can fight them, join them.  
When Raikkonen returned to F1, Vettel was so happy that his happiness almost occupied the entire paddock, it was always Raikkonen and Vettel, Vettel and Raikkonen.  
He could see some reservations from Houvinen's part, but he also know that Huovinen would do what Vettel wanted him to do, so there was no problem there.  
He could also see that his job had got a little more easy in some always, the other drivers could had all the kind of problems with Vettel, but none of them would do anything other than complain because then they would had to cross Raikkonen...

Horner had briefly talked to Schumacher and Lauda, one the oldest driver in the grid, the other a legend...both of them had said that maybe you can disagreed with the way that Raikkonen handle the things, but you got to respect a man that stood to his ideals and choices. That was what the other drivers and paddock workers admire in Raikkonen...in Lauda words _"He could be a dick, but he is fair, he was probably the only one that would tell you that you suck, if he really believes that you do."_

Horner could see that it had attracted Vettel, of course Vettel was more political, he was trained to be, but Horner could understand Vettel's need to have someone that he knew that wont lie to his face, that would be sincere, and tell him what he need to hear even if it hurt.  
Like they all say, you don't have a true friendship inside the paddock, but with them, everyone can see a exception to the rule, an unique case.

The drivers from the older generation can also see that, Lauda, Stewart, Surtees...Horner had seen they all say that Raikkonen and Vettel relationship remembers the old times.

So Horner was not worried, Raikkonen became part of the team, and he really wanted it to become official, but Marko had other ideas, in fact Marko never shared to same opinion in relation to Raikkonen. He had always seen him as a problem, that need to be solved, a threat to Vettel...but Marko was not stupid, he knows that Raikkonen have allies inside the RedBull, and any action would be a declaration of war to Vettel and no one would want that, they all have Webber was an example...and the boy...not a boy anymore...was more ruthless than never...anyone can see that.  
But for more ruthless that Vettel can be, Horner could see that soft spot for Raikkonen, in one race when Raikkonen had hold him down, Horner can only imagine how angry Vettel was, everyone had listen to his voice on the radio...but when they got on the podium everything was just fine, like nothing had happened...

But regardless of what Horner think about it, he had a team to manage, and now he not only has the friendship show, he also had the sexy trainner fanbase. Even the press was on this thing.  
To make the thing more complicated the other drivers didn't help either...when he read what that Hulkenbergue kid had said, Horner can only tought "Damn"  
He doesn't blame the kid, the press didn't stopped asking him questions, so the kid let it slip  
 _"I don't talk much to him, he is always with with Kimi"_

So of course Horner was worried about this hotel in the middle of nothing in Korea. The teams and the press are all there together during all the time.  
He could almost smell the trouble, but to his surprise, both Raikkonen and Vettel were being so discrete...and that was making his job so much easier that he decided to let Vettel have a special dinner with everything he wanted to eat, but to that he had to talk to Huovinen first...that's until them both saw the boys together, Raikkonen was sleeping on Vettel shoulders in the middle of an open area, where anyone could see them, here them fucking mad, every cellphone those days had a camera, anyone can take a picture, and then everyone would have to listen to Marko telling them that he was right since the beginning...

Horner was furious...  
But the tired and confused look on Raikkonen's face told him that yell or complain right now won't make a difference, so he let Huovinen deal with Vettel and he would talk with Raikkonen.

Of course the talk wasn't productive, but he tought that it doesn't hurt to remember them of how the press can be cruel...but talking about how unfair the press is, to Raikkonen, was like talking to a wall, he knows that the older driver knows very well how the news can be destructive, so he can only hope that repeating the worry would make Raikkonen see that was a danger to Vettel and then make the right decisions.  
Raikkonen was an intelligent guy, that's what Horner thought, until he got a message from Vettel saying that Raikkonen were coming with them to Japan.  
 _"Dear lord, they're are abusing of their luck and of the goodness in the people's heart"_

Horner grabbed his phone and write "Ok...see you in the airport."  
He opened his notebook, turn on the Skype, and decided to talk to his wife...that to Horner was the only sane and rational person in the entire world.


	7. Heikki

Heikki was happy where he was...  
He had a good job, a good salary and he was doing what he liked.   
But when Tommi called him telling about a opportunity to work in F1 he couldn't quite believe.  
The offer was to replace Tommi himself, and become the trainner of the world champion Sebastian Vettel.  
He have heard about Vettel, but what most got his attention was the salary, a big, huge, salary and the possibility to work with RedBull, they're in every sport, and have their name in his curriculum would be fantastic, so Heikki didn't think twice before accept the offer.

His first months with Vettel aren't easy, Vettel expected somethings that he himself thought to be stupid and unnecessary ,things that the brat could do without his help.   
Vettel didn't help either, he made very clear that Heikki is not Tommi, and that he would never be good enough.   
The kid was unbearable, with an enormous ego, and Heikki have to use all of his self control to not tell the kid "fuck you" ... but with time and a lot of patience he managed to found out that Vettel was a cool guy, he understood the pressure that was on him and that sometimes he need to release all of his frustations, so eventually the brat, became the kid, and later Vettel, till he became Sebastian and when that happened Heikki was ready to be the one to receive all Vettel's fury, ego and frustation.

To Heikki this was his job, to take care of his boss body and mind. So he was more than happy when he noticed that he had achieved it, now that he had Vettel's trust, he can start a work to make the boy even more stronger physically , to Heikki if he manage to make Vettel stronger, and the driver join that with his strong psychological side, he would be unbeatable .  
To Heikki it wasn't a shock when Horner agreed with him.

That's when Heikki got the liberty to do whatever was necessary to make Vettel strong enough to handle a ex-hockey player.

Apart from the training side, Heikki really believe to be a lucky person, he saw a side of the famous world champion that almost nobody saw. He become the trainner with more acess to information, the one that was everywhere, and the best part was that nobody could say a thing,he was there because Sebastian wanted him there.

This power made Heikki noticed how the things were in RedBull,and the thing that got his attention was Marko, the man was a control freak, if Sebastian are a lesser man he would be the man's puppet.  
There the other driver too, Webber was a good, but Heikki could see him becoming frustated with how fast his years are passing, Britta, like himself was professional and dedicated, a good company.  
From inside the team, another interesting figure was Horner, the man was like a godfather to Sebastian, he tried to not be, tried don't show his preference and constantly failed at hiding it...Heikki, in the beggining , really tought that Horner was just a great manager and that see everything and everyone as something to work on and show results, but over time and being the good observer that he is, he saw that Horner really care about Sebastian...maybe a little to much.

Then there's the Hanna, Seb's girlfriend, he only saw her twice, she was there but at the same time she wasn't, he found it kind of strange, but who was he to judge.  
And for last, there's Raikkonen.  
Of course Heikki know about Raikkonen, being a finn and all, his entire country knows about their most recent F1 world champion, some of are proud, others think that Raikkonen wasn't a good example of sportsman , but he could care less.  
But now that changed, he working there, in F1, so close to Sebastian,that he had inevitably seen how much Raikkonen is important in Sebastian's life. It was easy to know when they had talked to each other because all Sebastian talked about was Raikkonen.

_"Kimi said that...Kimi did it...Kimi is sick...Kimi is going to visit me..."_

But for more that Sebastian talked about Raikkonen it didn't showed him how big their thing really was.   
This of course changed when Raikkonen suffered an accident in WRC.

Heikki was impressed by how Sebastian handled his emotions when the news arrived in the paddock, Sebastian acted like it was just another driver, just another accident, that kind of thing happens from time to time. But Heikki could see why Sebastian was doing that because apart from the shock, everyone was observing how he would react, so Seb gave nothing to them. That really had impressed Heikki.

Of course when they were alone Seb let it all go, if this had happened a year early, Heikki probably wouldn't like that , a guy using him to conform himself, to be a shoulder to cry on...pffft...a man don't cry on front of others, don't bother the others...but now, now is different, Heikki was more than happy to know that Sebastian feels safe enough with him, to show his feelings, to show how much effect that had on him.  
Heikki was happy to become Sebastian's confidant, but while the man was crying on his shoulder, he cannot help but to be worried, he had seen this kind of reaction and attachment before, he saw that kind of thing with parents, kids, dogs...but seeing this, he question himself if Raikkonen knows the power he has over Sebastian. And Heikki could also see that Horner tought the same.  
And of course he was right, Horner later had come to him, to express his worry and ask for information.  
But for more that Heikki was concerned, Horner isn't his boss, his duty is with Sebastian, and Heikki was sure that Seb won't wanted him to spill his guts to Horner.  
So Heikki did what he does best, he stayed there firm, stronger, a pillar to Vettel hold on when necessary, a drill sargeant while in his workout and always observing, always silent.

Then one day, Heikki never seen Sebastian so happy than when the kid informed him that Raikkonen was coming back and they finally meet face to face... and that return had brought something new to all of them, Heikki could see that whatever was happening between Vettel and Raikkonen. was mutual. Both of them acted different when in eachother company.  
Heikki also saw how the closeness of those two affected the rest of them.  
The press loved the interactions, most of the fans got crazed about it and Britta and Rocky found it cute.

Webber, like the other drivers found it strange that they're so attached, but they didn't say a thing.

Horner always had that worried look on his face, Heikki thought at first that Horner didn't like what he was seeing, but later he discovery that Horner highly regarded Raikkonen, and thought his friendship with Sebastian a good thing. But Horner's fear came with the acknowledge of how much influence Raikkonen have in Sebastian's life, a thing that Heikki had feared too.  
The same thing could be said about Marko. Heikki was almost certain that the old man have a natural dislike for any finn.  
But the truth is, Heikki thought that they are both wrong, of course Raikkonen have influence in Sebastian's life, but he won't change neither would be able to affect Sebastian's determination to win title after title. In fact he thinks that the only thing that Raikkonen could do to really unbalance Sebastian, was dissapearing or dying, and both of things don't appeared to be on the older driver agenda.

The silence and the discretion, Heikki always tought that they are one of his greatest advantages in the entire paddock, he roamed free and quietly, and because he was a so constant presence, the others stopped to worry about him being there, and when people don't pay attention to their surroundings they tend to talk a lot, and Heikki was always a good listener.

So he listened to what the press was talking about, being it good, being it bullshit, about Vettel or anyone else...  
He also listened to the drivers, the too happy french, the other solitary finn, the affected german/finn , the food lover german, the gentleman brit, the angry brit...and so on, but what really got his attention was that everyone talked with Raikkonen, listened to him, found him strange and also funny.

At first Heikki was neutral about Raikkonen, then later he become a little jealous of all the attention the guy received from Sebastian, but in the end, he found the guy kind of nice, even fun.

Sometimes during a massage Sebastian talked to him about Raikkonen, or like he liked to say  _"Kimi"_.   
Heikki sometimes tought about what would be like have a sister, but in moments like these he feels like he already knew the answer.  
It's a cool dinamic...but sometimes Heikki feared that what Sebastian was feeling was not just friendship, and the worst part is that he didn't know what to do. If he say the wrong thing, it could affect their dinamic, and Sebastian could stop telling him his problems and feelings, so against his best judgment , Heikki decided to let it go.

Everything was fine, until when he was walking with Horner and found the two sitting on a bench, with Raikkonen asleep on Sebastian shoulder.... he got mad, because he knew that maybe for Raikkonen this is only a place to rest, a pillow, a wall, or Sebastian's shoulder its all the same to him, but Heikki knew that to Sebastian it wasn't. So yes, Raikkonen deserves a slap on his head, in Heikki's opnion he deserved even more for being ignorant of the facts, and it was even worse when he saw the look on Sebastian's face when Raikkonen awakened in fury.  
Sebastian was scared not for him, but for Raikkonen...  
Heikki had saw that, had heard the other drivers saying it...Raikkonen have a small group of people that would protect him at any cost, that blind him to the real world, Mika, Steve, Toni, Kuulta, he had heard those names, and now he was seeing with his own eyes what he thought to be the final evidence that Sebastian was becoming one of those people...that's when Heikki saw what Marko had seen, yes, Raikkonen is a danger even if he did not want be , and they have to be carefull to protected Sebastian from any collateral damage.

After the race Heikki got a call, it's Sebastian, asking if he wanted to accompany him in the travel to Japan with Horner. Heikki accepted it without much a tought, but what took him by surprise was when in the next day he found Raikkonen there waiting for them.

Seeing Sebastian talking with him, Heikki came to a decision, he cannot stay so calm about the entire situation like Horner did, but he also think that Marko was overreacting, so he had to measure the problem himself.   
Sebastian was more than his boss, he liked to think of himself like a colleague or even a distant friend, so it was his duty make sure that everything was under control, because if the things got wrong he won't forgive himself if he had not acted when the opportunity arrived.  
And this flight is the right opportunity, he had enough of make conclusions based in what the others talked or only with what he saw, he would talk to Raikkonen and take his own conclusion. 


	8. The flight

In the airport Heikki tried to talk as much as possible with Sebastian. He can see that Seb was happy, another great race, another great result.

 

-              I love Suzuka, such an amazing track. Another win there and the title will be even more secure

-              I believe the title is already yours.

-              No no no, I can’t be sure until he is on my hands. But it is a thing to worry about later, now we need to relax! Come on Kimi, you’re already sleeping?

-              …I can’t sleep when I’m standing

-              I’m sure that you will learn this ability in some point of your life.

-              I certainly will.

 

Heikki could see the smile, the eyes, the posture between them…all the signals, before Raikkonen turn to talk to Horner.

But Heikki knew that's not the time yet, so he decided to stay with Sebastian…

…together, Heikki and Sebastian walked in front of Horner and Raikkonen, Heikki was holding one of the Sebastian's small bags and nodded and smiled  while Sebastian talked non stop…

Behind them Horner and Raikkonen talked.

 

-              How's your back?

-              Good.

-              I didn’t stop to ask, but it appeared to be serious since you don’t normally complain.

-              I wasn’t expecting that kind of pain,  I’m kind of worried.

-              About what?

-              My time in F1 is really coming to and end..for more that I take painkillers, and do physiotherapy , and massages. The pain is always there.

-              But you did talk to a specialist. Didn’t you?

-              I did. I will make a small surgery by the end of the season…please, don’t tell Seb.

 

Horner could see in Raikkonen’s eyes all the worry not only for himself, but for Vettel's reaction to the news.

 

-              I tought that he knew it

-              He knows what the press know. I had back pains, and probably will do a surgery. Only that, nothing more.

-              And there’s more?

-              Yes. It wont make me any good if I crash. My small mistake here gave me quite a pain…in fact it gave me a lot of pain. So much that all I wanted was sleep.

-              Oooh

-              I'm sorry. I'm bothering you with my problems.

-              No, its okay. I'm glad that you telling me. But how do you know that I'm not gonna tell it to Sebastian

-              Your team and your driver are important to you, his success is important, and you know how he will react over these things. So I'm warning you. So you can do your job. Manage the collateral damage.

-              Ok. Now you got me worried.

-              Good. Worried, means alert. And it is equal to prepared.  I know you will do what’s the best for him.

-              Can you stop talk like you’re gonna die.

-              Hehehehe…I’m not going die. But you never know, if these pains continue I probably will not participate in some races. And he would overreacted when nobody is looking.

-              Ok. I will triple his PR work…and later when it’s all over I will tell him that it’s  your idea.

-              You’re evil, Christian.

 

When they finaly got on the plane, Raikkonen and Sebastian  had separated themselfs from the Horner and Houvinen, going to the back of the plane, where all they did was talk, giggle and laugh.

Horner took that moment to speak to Heikki

 

-      So, how is our boy?

-      Fine. Super happy would say ...

 

Heikki look at the two of them at the back of plane while he saying :

 

-              … but then, Kimi really makes him happy.

-              He always did. But…I would need your help by the end of the season.

-              Yes.

-              Kimi has talked to me. He will make a surgery .

-              So? What is the problem with that?

-              It’s a back surgery. And he really looked preoccupied.

-              Oh…Sebastian didn’t tell me nothing about it.

-              He didn’t tell you because he doesn’t know about it.

 

Heikki cannot believe in what he had just heard. Raikkonen had hold information from Sebastian, and its not just a normal information, it is one about his health.

 

\-             Back surgery is a delicate thing, but it's not something to be so worried about. He didn’t gave any more information?

-              No. He just said that he was afraid of a crash, that it affected him more than he thought. That day when we had seen them in the bench, Kimi told me that he was in a lot of pain…

-              …and he doesn’t want Sebastian worried about it.

-              Yes.

-              So I'm ok with it. I believe that this help by the end of the season means stay alert because Sebastian probably will be there for all Raikkonen's procedures.

-              I believe so.

 

Sighing Horner asked for a drink.

 

-              Im getting old. He is leaving my hair graying and he isn’t even my son. Now that I have a daughter which is the next step. Get bald?

-              I believe it would be better if you don’t think about it.

-              You're right. I will take a nap. Wake me up if something happens.

-              Like what?

-              I don’t know. But I trust your judgment to know what really is important. Good Night.

-              But it's still morning!

-              Don’t question me, Houvinen!

 

Heikki took a book to read, and only stopped when he heard something strange.

 

-              You’re hiding something.

-              What?

-              You’re using your Iceman face on me again. You don’t do it unless you’re hiding something.

-              Seb…I…

-              You don’t wanna talk about it…

-              Yeah…

-              Should I be worried?

-              No.

-              Kimiiiii …

-              No.

 

From the corner of his eyes, hiding behind the armchair, Heikki could see Raikkonen almost lying on the sofa with Sebastian by his side with a upset face.

 

-              Ok…so if everything goes right, I will be champion in the Indian GP, and there will be a party. I want you to come.

-              Your wish is my command.

 

And Raikkonen gave a smirk to Sebastian, that slapped his head while ria.

 

-              I wouldn't know what to do if it was true .

-              I can give you some suggestions.

 

 _“Dear God, now it is really getting sappy and out of control…I shouldn’t had come to this flight!”_  Heikki almost looked away after hearing that, but he cannot…he stayed there, watching…" _observe and learn_ … _when you know the whole picture, you know what to expected”_  … that’s what Heikki pensava and believe.

 

-              Hahaha.... stop with it Kimi.

-              Ok.

-              So there, when we will know that it is really over, that I have won…you will tell me, without being afraid of how I will react…ok?

-              …

-              Im waiting for an answer here!

-              Ok.

 

Sebastian almost jumped on Raikkonen and gave him a big hug. Heikki could see Sebastian's happiness, but he also had seen the pained look on Raikkonen’s face.

But apart from the pain, Raikkonen returned the hug with another much more stronger, like if Sebastian was his pillar, where he could hold to not fall down. And then Raikkonen smiled. 

All of Heikki instincts told him to turn and stop looking, but his curiosity didn’t allow him to do so. And that was the moment when he saw Raikkonen look at him, his eyes cold.

_“He thinks I’m threat? But to who? Him?”_

 

-              Ow! Come on it is just a hug, you don’t need to kill me with a bear hug.

-              Sorry!

 

Heikki took the chance to turn, but didn’t stopped listen.

 

-              It is Heikki, doesn’t?

-              How did you know?

-              Heikki likes to observe things…all the things…I believe he is a ninja.

-              I bet he is. I didn’t noticed him looking. You could have warned me.

-              So what if he is looking. You won’t hug me, if he is watching?

-              No. I certainly would hug you. Probably even more, just to see his reaction… I also like to observe...

\-              You should have seen Mark, when Heikki started to working for me, he always scared Mark. It was fun to watch.

 

After that, Heikki decided to leave them alone and focus on other things. But unfortunately he was alone because Horner was dead to the world. The man was really tired. So Heikki returned to his book, only to sleep after some time. 

Heikki was rudely awakened with a pillow being thrown at him.

There was Raikkonen, standing in front of him, with another pillow in his hand, and before he could do something Raikkonen hit him again.

Heikki  stood and looked at Sebastian direction.

 

-              He is sleeping and wont help you.

-              Help me? I believe with him asleep, the one in trouble here is you.

 

And with that Heikki grabbed Raikkonen wrist and bring him close only to throw him at the nearest corner. Raikkonen hit the wall and in pain hold against it. It was when Heikki remembered about the Raikkonen's back problems. _“Seb is going to kill me!”_

-              Im sorry. Let me help you…

-              I’m fine!

 

 _“That arrogant guy …. I’m Fine… my ass!”_   Heikki saw Raikkonen compose himself. The opportunity is now, I have to know what is happening, I have seen it, but I need to hear it from him.

 

-              What is happening here?

-              You  threw me against the wall , that is what happened!

-              I’m talking about Sebastian!

-              He is sleeping…if you wanna something, go wake him up yourself.

-              Stop it...You know what I mean! What is happening between you and him?

 

Raikkonen looked at Sebastian’s sleeping form and stayed in silence.

 _“Watch and understand”_   Heikki believed that the truth is in the details. That some people doesn’t really know what is happening to them, and only the details showed the unspoken truth,  that one hidden between walls of morality, ethics, or even customs …To Heikki some people don’t see the truth, because unconsciously they aren’t prepared to it.

 

-              Nothing is happening.

-              What he means to you?

-              ...My friend.

 

Heikki could see a smile when Raikkonen said that, a real smile. That smile was accompanied with a face of someone remembering something. Heikki could see that whatever that memory was, it’s clearly represented the moment when Raikkonen recognized Sebastian as a friend, as someone he can trust.

 

-              Nothing more?

-              What?

-              You two are too close to be just friends. I’m worried because it’s starting to show during the race weekends.

-              And what is the problem with that?

-              Everyone is watching, Sebastian got a career, a reputation, he can’t be seen being too friendly to another driver…another man.

-              I don’t care and neither does Seb.

-              You’re wrong…

-              …about what?! Are you jealous? You want I have?

 

 _“Provocation and arrogance”_  , to Heikki that showed there is something more.  What he doesn’t know is how much more, or if they know what it is.

 

-              I can't have what you have. Neither do I want. But he is my boss…and I spend enough time with him to know that you can be problem.

-              Me?!

-              Yes. You and your attitude, you have spoiled him for years…then you ditched him…now you came back and started to control everything!

 

_“Come on…show me something…”_

 

-              I would never do that! I gave him space, because I was holding him down! He needed to see that he can do all of this without me!

-              Yeah I see. And the best way to do so is telling him to leave you alone.

-              How did you…

-              He told me what happened after he visited you in WRC…only to ask you to return to F1.

-              I gave him incentive…I gave him more reasons to win.

-              You hurt him!

-              To make him stronger…he was soft…he got potential, but he still just a child, he neede dto know that being naïve here will only make him lost his best years. I toughen him up…

-              But like you said he was just a kid, one that admired you…that valued your friendship above all things.

-              He needed to be a man…he doesn’t need me to hug him or hold his hand…

-              You left him afraid, even today he fears that you’re gonna to leave him. And he was right, after all those years when you were at the hospital he was devasted, and then you ditched him again.

-              Letting him stay there with me was hurting him even more…he had to go…he had a championship to fight for!

-              He was worried about you.

-              And I for him. But I’m his friend, I’m not here only praise and cuddle him, I’m here to be tough and sometimes unfair, to do what the others won’t do because they’re afraid of repercussions….I don’t care what you think…I don’t care what the others think…I did what I did because I wanted the best for him, and I would do it all again.

-              So that is why you aren’t telling him about your problems?

-              Stop trying to analyze me.

-              You took more time than I tought to notice it.

-              I noticed it on the "ditched" part…

-              …so why did you continue to speak…

-              Because you won’t stop bothering me until I do so.

-              Clever…

-              Hphm…

-              He told me one time... that he loves you…

 

_“Now give me the final proof…”_

 

-              Stop trying to being a cupid Houvinen!

-              Me?

-              Yes, you!

-              I’m just saying…

 

And Raikkonen started walking to here Sebastian’s was….

 

-              ....There’s no need to…He already told me that…

-              Really?!?

-              Yes. And the feeling is mutual.

 

Heikki was in shock…that’s not the answer he expected, neither was the one he wanted. But he signs don’t lie, the body will speak what the mind won't let the mouth speak. And he was fooled by his conceptions. Maybe that was the problem of being a good observer, he saw and heard so much that he lost his own sight and hearing.

Heikki saw Raikkonen grab the pillows, and sit beside Sebastian, awaking him in a similar way that he awakened him, but much more softer. Raikkonen gave the pillows to Sebastian, and while Sebastian put himself in the sitting position Raikkonen laid his legs on to of Sebastian's legs.

 

-              Don’t move to much. My back is killing me.

-              Your legs are heavy! I won't be able to move mine after sometime.

-              Not my problem.

-              I have to race, you know.

-              Even better…if you can move your legs, I can win the race. I should do it more often

-              You're annoying.

-              Hehehehe….

 

Heikki sat on his chair again, but he was so distracted that he dropped the book and a bag on the floor awakening Horner.

 

-              What is happening?!

-              Nothing.

-              You sure?

-              I am.


	9. The flight - part 2

When Sebastian awakened the first thing he tought was  _“We haven’t arrived?!”_... the second was  _“My legs!!”_  … Sebastian could feel his legs tingling, looking at his side he saw Kimi asleep…  
   
\- Kimi!   
- Kimiiii!!  
   
Sebastian then decided to take a more serious action, lifting and throwing Kimi’s legs out of his lap…Raikkonen instantaneously awakened, looking confused.  
   
- What happened? We arrived?  
- No!  
- So why did you do that?  
- My legs…I can't feel my legs!  
   
Sebastian could see the confusion on Kimi’s face, and then the realization, that scared him. Sebastian knew that look, Kimi is having an idea, and for some reason he knows that he won’t like the outcome.  
He stood there motionless while Kimi rested his hand on his thigh , they shared a look, and Sebastian was trying to find some clue on those icy blue eyes, but before he could find one, Kimi pinched his thigh .  
   
- Ouch!! … Why?  
- You said you didn’t feel your legs.  
- I CAN feel my legs! They’re just numb.  
- Oh good…that’s treatable .  
   
Then without a warning, Raikkonen started to slap Sebastian's leg, while Sebastian was trying to get away and gave little cries.  
   
- Aahh…stop it!  
- …  
- Your asshole…I said…s…stop it….ouch!  
   
Horner stood up in time to see Sebastian trying to push Raikkonen, while Raikkonen was slapping him…see this was almost too much to Horner, and it took much effort from his part to not jump on conclusions.

Without notice Horner looking, Sebastian finally got up and pushed Kimi away that fallen back in the sofa, smiling  
   
- See… you’re on your feet!

- What?!

- It’s a miracle!  
   
Sebastian looked perplexed at Kimi and then back to his legs…  
   
- What’s happening here?  
   
Both Sebastian and Kimi looked back at Horner, and almost immediately they both became ashamed. Horner was pretty sure that they aren't ashamed of what they were doing, but to the fact that they had not noticed him.  
   
\- I was curing the problem in his leg.

\- By hitting him?

\- It worked...  
   
Horner did not know what to think , certain behaviors are acceptable in a 26 years old boy, but in a 33 years old man ... the only reason he could think about is that the mental age of the people usually decreases when they are around people that make they feel safe.   
And there was another problem , Horner enjoyed the feeling of knowing that someone like Raikkonen felt comfortable enough to show that in his presence , but it was still a bit bizarre to see the same man who was serious and responsible before embarking acting that way ... the good side is that Horner also seen that Sebastian was responsible for that , it makes things a lot more easy to manage, as a duo they would be unbeatable , he visualized it , and he really wanted it to happen in RedBull, a dream that won't happen.

Raikkonen would be a strong competitor , which would threaten Sebastian, and Sebastian would become even stronger , focused , fast because of that.... it would be what Webber was not , Raikkonen wouldn't be mad to see Sebastian that did better than him,   
Horner had seen Raikkonen on that position before, and he recognized that he was overcome, and he didn't become offended by it. Horner really believed that Raikkonen would probably be more than happier to see that Sebastian had overcome him.  
   
\- Christian, everything is okay, I swear! I started it ...

\- It's true ...

\- Hey ...

\- But it's true, I was sleeping when someone threw my legs in the air ...

\- Your legs were crushing mine!

\- So do not let me put them on top of yours, it is simple.

\- I was being nice ...  
   
Raikkonen smiled, placing a hand on Sebastian's shoulder and another on his chest ...

\- And I appreciate the kindness ... that's why I was hitting your legs ... I am returning the favor!

\- Your notion of kindness worries me, Raikkonen.

Raikkonen looked at Horner as if he had interrupted an important moment, but quickly took on a more serene posture.  
   
\- Well, he's standing ... and he is even complaining ... I could have returned to sleep, but I decided to help ... this is kindness!

\- I'm right here!

\- And I'm thirsty! Where's the booze?

\- As far as I know you can't drink alcohol, Kimi.

\- Okay .. sorry, where can I find water?

Horner signaled the way to Raikkonen , that left the two alone, heading toward it.

\- He is with PMS ?

\- Hehehe ... no. He just doesn't like being abruptly awakened . And well ... he must be feeling a little uncomfortable since you have seen it all .

\- And you not ?

\- Why would I?

\- Sebastian ...

\- I know , I have to be careful , the press and everything , people may misinterpret ...

\- That's right . The other drivers are already talking every time they see you two together .

\- Okay ... Always the same thing ! I don't need you to remind me every time !

\- Sebastian is for your good .

\- Ok ! Got it! I'll take a water, so excuse me.

Sebastian followed in the same direction of Raikkonen .

\- My God, this mood is contagious ...

\- Welcome to my world!

Horner was startled and turned around to meet Huovinen impassively looking at him .  _" He was watching?"_

\- Is it always like this?

\- Every time that Raikkonen wakes in a bad mood .

\- Ok , I will not even ask why Sebastian is near Raikkonen when he wakes up .

\- It is a good idea ... but don't worry about it, soon they will be more sociable .

\- How can you be so sure?

\- I pay attention to details . Those two are lucky , for a bunch of super smart engineers and drivers with super reflexes, the people in this sport are blind to some details.

\- You're philosophical today ...

\- I'm always philosophical.  
   
From out of nowhere Raikkoneng appeared carrying several bottles of water. As he handed one to Huovinen and another for Horner, he added:

\- This is true Christian. Heikki with his mouth closed is a poet!

And as soon as he spoke, Raikkonen returned to the here he came, leaving both Horner and Huovinen in shock expecting something else to happen or someone else to shows up ...

\- So this thing to appear out of nowhere is something they teach in schools in Finland?  
   
Sebastian was sitting on the counter swinging his legs while waiting for Kimi, who had gone to bring water to Christian and Heikki .

When he saw Kimi return with a huge smile, Sebastian cannot help but to feel his heart beating faster.  
He had already admitted that he loves Kimi's smile. He had told it to his mother , who agreed with him , saying  _" he has a killer smile "_  ...

...he had told it to Heikki , that did a Heikki face and during massage pressed his back with such force that he had difficulties to breath for some hours ....

...but the most bizarre was telling it to his girlfriend , Hanna gave him a sad smile, saying that she agreed with him , and changed the subject, Sebastian could not believe how angry she was until she spend two weeks treating him as if he were part of the furniture ...

Sebastian remembered very well calling Kimi , who appeared to be in a bad mood , but still not hung up and waited for him to finish talking , giving a fairly typical response that Sebastian will never forget

_" It must be the hair , you are confusing me with a woman ... let's do this, I will cut your hair , and you will talk to the woman of the relationship ... and Seb , when said "woman" I spoke of Hanna ! "_

and then he hung up , Sebastian knew it would be considered rude by many people , but that slap in the face was enough to wake him  
   
\- Wanna tell me the reason behind your silly look?

\- ... Your smile is beautiful ...

Raikkonen stared at Sebastian and approached, sitting beside him and handing him a bottle of water.

\- Remember when you had long hair?

\- I remember ... more trouble than it's worth.

\- It was beautiful.

\- It wasn't practical.

\- If I asked you to let him grow again, would you?

\- No.

\- Why?

\- Because it's not practical ...

Sebastian began to face the bottle ...

\- What the bottle did to you ?

\- Hun ? !

\- You didn't stop staring at it.

\- It's nothing ... anyway ... We will arrive in two hours ... what will you do when you get there ?

\- I will hide in the hotel.

\- Hehehehe , now seriously what will you do?

\- I really do not know .

\- I will understand it as free time , so stay tuned , I can call you so we can meet and do something .

\- Okay .

\- So, tell me, what those two are doing ?

\- Probably talking about us , that's the new fashion here.

\- They are worried .

\- They worry too much, all the time, it's annoying to hear and see the looks that others do all the time we spent together.

\- I thought you didn't care.

\- I don't, but I'm not blind nor deaf.

\- If you want we can avoid each other a bit more when in the paddock .

\- No! Do not change yourself for the sake of others. If they have a problem, they will have to come and tell us , then I'll tell them to suck it up and fuck off, with great pleasure .

\- If someday it come to this, could you say it on the podium interviews?

\- With Coulthard or with Jordan ?

\- That's a difficult decision .

Laughing , Sebastian stood face to face with Kimi .

\- Let's go back , they have gossiped enough.

\- How sociable should I be?

\- Surprise me !


	10. The other flight (Alo, Ham, But, Ros, Web)

Alonso, Webber, Hamilton, Button and Rosberg decided to go to Japan on the same plane, the reason none of them knew, they’re was just talking when Rosberg bring up the possibility and others accepted without even thinking ...

Of course, this resulted in an little strange trip, at least on the beginning, but after a few beers they were already more comfortable, and the subjects were getting pretty varied.

Girlfriends, ending of relationships, overprotective parents ...

They even talked about Rosberg’s hair and that was when the trouble started…

 **Hamilton:**  Do you guys remember when Nico arrived in F1, his hair was better than woman’s hair! 

 **Rosberg:**  My hair still better than a woman’s hair! 

 **Button:**  Hey Britney, that was the moment for you to feel offended and not to be defending the texture of your hair ... 

 **Hamilton:**  That’s true, then they call you princess and you say that you doesn’t know the reason why. 

 **Alonso:**  I got confused ... 

 **Webber:**  With what? 

 **Alonso:**  With Nico, when he was in Williams, I saw him walking away, and from behind I could swore it was a woman. 

 **Button:**  And then you came close and saw that it was a bizarre tranny!? 

 **Rosberg:**  Hey! 

 **Hamilton:**  Leave Nico alone ... it’s not like he was the only one that had a long hair, Fernando had one too. 

 **Rosberg:**  A very long and thick hair, what a horror. 

 **Alonso:**  You can stop right there man, my hair is more masculine than all of you together. 

 **Webber:**  Ok folks, we have already begun this in the wrong way. First of all, why are we talking about  man’s hair? 

 **Button:**  Blame Britney,... 

 **Britney:**  You all are talking about me, but what about Kimi and Romain? They also had long hair. 

 **Hamilton:**  No no no ... Romain’s hair looked like a broom! 

 **Rosberg:**  But Kimi’s hair was beautiful! Don't look at me like that... you all thought that too! 

 **Button:**  Man, I don't thought  about anything ... 

 **Alonso:**  But surely your german friend has an opinion about that, doesn’t he Mark? 

 **Webber:**  I can’t say, Fernando. 

 **Hamilton:**  There’s no need to hide anything here Mark, you can release the truth ... 

 **Rosberg:**  So there's something to be hide?! 

 **Hamilton:**  There’s must be something, the two them are always together. 

 **Button:**  If that was reason enough, you can add his trainer in the conversation. 

 **Webber:** That’s truth. 

 **Alonso:**  What? 

 **Webber:**  Always one of the those two will be close. You have to be careful, not only with Kimi, but with Heikki too, they may not be on your sight, but they sure are close by. 

 **Rosberg:**  Like bodyguards… 

 **Hamilton:**  It's funny sometimes ... the way they ignore everyone around them. 

 **Alonso:**  I think it disrespectful. 

 **Button:**  Come on, there are moments that are very boring, and I believe that you all would prefer be talking instead of paying attention to the press. 

 **Webber:**  Talking, yes, but touching, approaching each others face, sending glances, it's too much. 

 **Rosberg:**  I felt that Mark knows something. 

 **Alonso:**  Now I want to know. 

 **Webber:**  Dude that's their thing, I don’t want to get involved. 

 **Hamilton:**  You aren't getting involved, you are telling us. And it's not like they hiding something, they do this in front of everyone, the audience, the cameras! The entire world see it! 

 **Webber:**  I don’t know ... 

 **Rosberg:**  Come on Mark! Tell us! 

 **Webber:**  Ok. You guys know about the RedBull parties? 

 **Rosberg:**  of course ... 

 **Webber:**  Always, and I really means “always”, Sebastian invites Kimi. 

 **Button:**  This is nothing new. 

 **Webber:**  And what about the fact that they always come back together to the hotel, and sometimes they leave there together as well? 

 **Rosberg:**  Ok this is something new. 

 **Webber:**  Kimi always know where Sebastian is hosted, and Horner also knows something about those two, he and Heikki. 

 **Alonso:**  Kovalein? 

 **Webber:**  No, the trainer. 

 **Hamilton:**  The Greek God! 

 **Rosberg:**  hahaha you heard that too? 

 **Button:**  Who hasn’t heard! 

 **Webber:**  Privates travels, private parties and stuff like that ...and both of them live relatively close. 

 **Alonso:**  But Vettel say in some interviews that he has no friends in Formula 1, at least not real friends. 

 **Webber:**  I assure you that Kimi wasn’t being considered. 

 **Hamilton:**  Hey, the two aren’t going to Japan together? 

 **Rosberg:**  I have read it in some place. 

 **Button:**  It's true, I bumped into Romain in the lobby and he told me that Kimi had already gone because he would meet Sebastian. 

 **Rosberg:**  hhhmmmm 

 **Hamilton:**  Regardless of it, Kimi is a cool guy, and Sebastian is not that bad. 

 **Webber:**  I don’t know if this is true. 

 **Alonso:**  What do you know? 

 **Webber:**  I was going to see Vettel at the hotel, when I met Kimi, he was sitting outside Vettel’s room , his face  was red, like if something had it him, and I think it’s Vettel who did it to him. 

 **Button:**  No. Vettel wouldn’t hurt a fly. 

 **Alonso:**  And Kimi wasn’t going to let anyone beat him, not without hitting back. 

 **Rosberg:**  Guys, let Mark finish ... 

 **Webber:**  Well I don’t know what happened, but Kimi was determined to not let me get near Sebastian ... 

 **Hamilton:**  That's a fact, but I think Vettel is more jealous, when I was talking to them and he kept staring at me sometimes, that is, until they enter in their own little world and ignore me completely. 

 **Rosberg:**  Did you guys seen the podium? Raikkonen was going to compliment Grosjean and Vettel just went in the middle and didn’t let him ... 

 **Button:**  I don’t think that was on purpose. 

 **Rosberg:**  Tell that to Grosjean. 

 **Alonso:**  I think that I, Mark and Jenson can say that Kimi would not let any of us even think about do to him, what he lets Vettel do. And we know each other for more than a decade. 

 **Button:**  That’s true…Sebastian was alway more sociable, you can get close to him with no problem, but Kimi has a bit more complicated. 

 **Rosberg:**  Easy for you to say it ... I can say that for me and the youngest drivers, it is almost impossible to talk with Sebastian, when it isn't that trainer of his that is there like a guard dog, it is Kimi, and then it doesn’t matter what you do, they will start to talk and forget you ... just like Lewis said. 

 **Hamilton:**  Now that you mention it, I remembered something… that trainer of his, the guy is creepy ... he's everywhere! How do you live with it, Webber? 

 **Webber:**  I don’t ... I try to stay as far away as possible from that guy. And if I are you, I would do the same. 

 **Alonso:**  How so? 

 **Webber:**  Huovinen is an extension of Vettel, what he had seen and heard, Vettel will see and hear too… understand? 

 **Alonso:**  What?!! 

 **Button:**  Congratulations Mark, now Fernando will have insomnia. 

 **Rosberg:**  So teel me, the Sebastian’s darlings had already meet each other? Like really talking, not just staring?

 **Hamilton:**  Nico! You’re impossible today. 

 **Rosberg:**  I'm curious!  It is not that often  that we can have access to so much information about the cutest couple on the grid. 

 **Button:**  My God, then you wonder why I called you Britney ... 

 **Rosberg:**  Don’t to be boring Jenson… so Mark ... continue… 

 **Webber:**  Look, I've never seen a meeting between those two, but I know there have been several ... as far as I know they understand each other. There aren’t friends, but ... 

 **Button:**  Sebastian is important to them, because of it they have lived in harmony. 

 **Webber:**  That's right. How do you know it? 

 **Button:**  It’s obviously, it has always been. Actually all of this sappy friendship of them is evident from the beginning, I wonder where you guys were that you haven’t seen that? 

 **Alonso:**  Fighting to win the title? 

 **Button:**  I won the title and yet I could see it.... 

 **Rosberg:**  Wow ... that hurt! 

 **Hamilton:**  Let's calm down here ... Jenson noticed first because among us he is closest to Sebastian, only because of that ... besides we all have more to do, it would be a waste time watching them. 

 **Alonso:**  So please tell me why we're talking about the them? 

 **Rosberg:**  Because for the past three years they didn't even bother to disguise their excessive closeness? Because they’re rubbing in everyone's face how are inseparable they are? 

 **Button:**  I have to agree with you on that. 

 **Hamilton:**  Yeah, at the FIA gala, Sebastian was kind of drunk and almost let out an "I love him" on the stage ... I was embarrassed for him ... 

 **Rosberg:**  That was cute. 

 **Alonso:**  I remember that. It was funny. 

 **Webber:**  Horner didn’t find it funny, I guarantee it. 

 **Rosberg:**  But there must be something more than friendship, doesn’t ? I mean, the fans talk about it a lot, the press too, and the mechanics, the paddock workers in general, some of them are even cruel in their commentaries. 

 **Button:**  No. It's just a friendship. 

 **Hamilton:**  I also think so, but sometimes I have my doubts. 

 **Webber:**  Friendship or not, it's weird. 

 **Alonso:**  I agree with Mark. It's embarrassing, I never know what to do or where to go, when they start one of those moments of them ... certain things have limits, and whatever that is, it’s not normal. 

 **Rosberg:**  What stress, man! 

 **Button:**  Yeah dude, let those two do their thing, and just ignore it. 

 **Webber:**  They will continue with it anyway, like it or not ... so it's like the Button said, just try to ignore. 

 **Hamilton:**  I prefer that they to keep it that way. Imagine what it would be without Kimi? Sebastian would be the same as a machine. 

 **Button:**  You're exaggerating. 

 **Webber:**  I don’t think so. Sebastian is pretty normal out of the car, but inside it, he is cold and ruthless, and over the years I could see that he has become increasingly more competitive and ruthless with his opponents, I think you all have noticed that. 

 **Rosberg:**  I've noticed, those comments of his, that we aren’t committed enough and that’s why we can face him was ridiculous. 

 **Button:**  Yeah, he really very wrong and arrogant on that one. 

 **Webber:**  Like I said, Kimi is one of the few things that still makes Sebastian a little more human, because if it depends on Marko he would be machine like ... 

 **Alonso:**  It’s very beautiful and interesting ... but I didn'tjoin you guys on this flight so we can talk about those two, especially Vettel… does anyone have something more interesting to talk about? 

 **Hamilton:**  I bought a new puppy ... 

 **Rosberg:**  It’s a beautiful little thing! 

 **Alonso:**  Oh God, help me!


	11. Japanese GP - part 1

There's no free time at all, all the time he had something to do ... interviews ... photos ... events.

Sebastian was almost certain that Christian wanted to kill him.

Smile ... greet ... take pictures ...

At the end of the day Sebastian couldn't take it any more, he wanted to call Kimi, he himself had said when they are on the plane that he would call, and now he had no forces to do so, he doesn't wanted even to get out of bed.

Heikki was another case, when Horner did not send Britta to walk with him from one side on the another, Heikki was there to put him on the ground, and make him feel like asking to die.

Sebastian wanted to know why they are doing it to him. He didn't do nothing wrong, He didn't offended anyone, he will be world champion again, why they were being so cruel to him.

Another thing that Sebastian noticed was that all of his commitments doubled if he mention  Kimi's name, it came to a point that Sebastian decided that he needed to know what was happening, and he go after Horner. But it's clear that the world was against him, and instead of finding Horner and solve his doubts, he found Webber.

 _ Morning.

 _ Good morning, Sebastian.

 _ Have you seen Christian?

 _ No, actually I was going to ask you the same.

 _ Oh .. so I'm going.

 

Sebastian was already thinking about something else when Webber spoke again.

 

_ Actually, I have another question.

 _ Yes...?

 _ You know where Raikkonen is?

_ No, why?

 _ I met Alonso, and he said that they are supposed to have dinner together but no one could find him.

 _ I really do not know where Kimi is, I didn't had a chance to talk to him.

 _ Okay, thank you anyway...and...see you later.

 _ Bye.

 

Sebastian knew that Webber didn't mention Kimi on purpose, but it hasn't changed the fact that now Sebastian was worried _, "why Kimi isn't answering anyone? "_

Sebastian knew what to do, picking up his phone, he looked for Kimi's  number, but then the universe seemed to conspire against him and Newey appeared. 

_ Sebastian! I'm so glad that you're here! I wanted to talk to you about some minor changes in the car.

And there go his morning, Sebastian always liked to help the team in development of the car, but Newey really had to call him for it today?

When Sebastian finally finished to inform Newey and the staff engineers of the details he noted in race and in practice, he tried to go to as far as possible from staff members, and called Kimi.

Sebastian was getting worried,the phone rang, rang, rang and nothing happened from Kimi's side. It had been two days since they landed, thursday practice were close, and Kimi simply disappeared.

Sebastian could only think of one person who might know something, and it was Christian.

And it was with the determination to know What is really happening to Kimi that Sebastian invaded Christian's office.

 

_ What is happening?

_ Good afternoon to you too, Sebastian, how can I help?

 _ I want to know what is happening.

 _ About what?

 _ This whole load of PR work ...

 _ This is Japan, people love F1 here, it's normal for the events to be bigger.

 _ Huuummm...

 _ I'm serious, it will be a busy week, but at least you will have a week just for you to rest.

 _ I have another question unresolved.

 _ What question?

 _ Every time I try to communicate with Kimi, something seens to happen ...

 _ Sebastian, I can assure you it's not on purpose, ok, your agenda is really...full.

 _ Okay, but...do you know something? Webber said that Alonso was looking for him, and I tried to call him and he didn't answer....he always answer to me!

 _ As far as I know, everything is fine.

 _ Thank you.

 _ And Sebastian...

 _ Yes...

 _ Smile!

 

How can he smile? Sebastian was exhausted, all he wanted to do was sleep and only wake up on Thursday, preferably, at the time of the practice, already dressed and inside the car.

But before that, he had to know about Kimi and his disappearance. The only problem was that Sebastian didn't know where Kimi was staying, because despite the fact that they talked and joked the entire time, it never occurred to Sebastian, asking Kimi where he would stay.  _"stupid, stupid, stupid... "_

The only solution he thought was going to Lotus and ask them, the problem was that they wouldn't just leave him enter, but Sebastian had to try.

When Sebastian arrived where the Team Lotus was, he was received with looks of suspicion, Sebastian knew that the mood between Kimi and the team wasn't as nice as before, Kimi had reluctantly admitted it to him. Luckily, he found one of the most peace-loving person on the paddock, Grosjean.

 

_ Gro!

 _ Hi, Vettel! What are you doing here, in these part of the paddock?

 _ ... I'm looking for Kimi.

 _ Seriously?! I thought you would know where he is, or you know...you had his number!

 _ I have but he doesn't answer!

 _ Dude, you're not the only one with this problem, we also tried to call him, but I find myself a bit outdated on this matter.

 _ Thanks anyway. Have a good day, Gro.

 _ Sebastian, wait! Actually I think I have some information that may interest you.

_ Please, tell me.

 _ The McLaren's doctor and his physiotherapist left in a hurry.

 _ Do you know to where?

 _ I don't know, I just saw the movement. But I think they went to the hotel.

 _ You know in which hotel Kimi is hosted?

 _ Sure!

 _ How I'm stupid, of course you would know about it. Please, you can you tell me which hotel.

 _ Sure.

 

Sebastian ran to the hotel,in his cell Britta was calling him, but he didn't care, he was on a mission to know what was happening.

When he reaching the hotel, he tried to be as unobtrusive as possible, if the fans recognize him, he would be trapped in lobby and it would caught further attention,  _"Christian will want to kill me."_

Sebastian went to the room where Kimi was supposed to be and became horrified after hear a scream.

That was not a common scream, it carried pain, lots of pain, and the worst was that Sebastian knew from who that scream belongs. He didn't think twice before running to the room and after find the door closed, Sebastian knocked it aggressively  _"Or they open it, or I will bring this door down. "_

 

After some time the door opened, and he was pulled inside by Arnall, who locked the door, and looked then at him with a angry face.

Sebastian barely had time to explain, and Arnall had already turned his attention to bed, where was the McLaren doctor and Kimi.

Sebastian knew of Kimi's problems,he knew that the accident in WRC had left some sequelae, but he did not knew how many.

The Finn was lying on bed, his eyes are closed, his mouth open that let out little moans of pain, and he was sweating. Sebastian also could see some medical utensils. 

_ Kimi?

 Arnall rose and went to Sebastian who was in shock, and led him to a chair in the corner of the room.

 _ Vettel?

 _ ...

 _ Vettel!

 _ Yes...

 _ Are you okay?

 _ Of course I am! What is this?! What the hell is happening here? Why...why he was screaming?

 _ You know about Kimi's problems because his rally accident, doesn't?

 _ Yes, I know. But I didn't thought that it was so serious ...

 _ But it is, I was there when it happened. It was very serious, the fact that his seat wasn't propely fixed in India only worsened what was already bad, and to complicate it, he hit the car during Korean practice...

 _ How serious?

 _ We are doing some massages, analgesics injections directly in his back...We are doing everything that is possible to make him feel better.

 _ I didn't realize that he...

 _ Don't blame yourself...he won't like it.

 

Sebastian stood there, just looking while they worked on Raikkonen. After what seemed an eternity of small movements and moans of pain, they finally left Raikkonen alone with Sebastian.

Sebastian didn't know what to do, then decided to approach, sitting in the bed, he started to stroking Raikkonen's hair and spoke:

 

_ Since when?

 _ I was fine, but this morning I simply couldn't move.

 _ How did you ask for help?

 _ I didn't. Arnall came for me because I was late, so when he arrived, he saw the situation and got help.

 _ I don't want to tell you what to do ...

 _ ... then don't say ...

 _ ... But I think you should look for a doctor.

 _ I've done that already.

 _ Why didn't you tell me?

 _ I didn't want you to worry about it.

 _ Seriously?! And for me to get here and find you screaming in pain without knowing the reason doesn't bother me at a all.

 _ I didn't expect it to happen ...

 _ Are you well enough to race?                                                       

 _ Yes

 _ ......... I'll have to go, I'm ignoring calls from Britta and Christian, if I don't go they will soon be knocking at the door ... I hope you're feeling better now.

 

Sebastian started to rise from the bed when Raikkonen grabbed his wrist.

 

_ I'm sorry ... I would tell you, but didn't want you to lose your focus on the championship.

 _ I never lose my focus ... I have met this guy, who was cold as ice who taught me this.

 _ Thanks, Seb.

 

Sebastian could see Kimi given a Smile and relax, Sebastian didn't want to leave, but he knew about his obligations, soon it will be Thursday and everything will be back to normal.

.

.

.

Sebastian had no words, the car was perfect, he got more points, the title was even more closer.

Unfortunately Kimi wasn't in the podium.

The entire team was excited, but he didn't want to consider himself the winner, not yet. But he can't help but feel relieved to be in Japan, where the audience loved the sport and it didn't matter to them who win as long as the race is exciting.

Later on that day he called Raikkonen and he arranged a meet between them in the hotel.

 

\- Hi!

_ Hi! And congratulations for the winning.

_ Thank you. It's a pity you weren't there.

_ I tried ... but I didn't have a very good weekend.

_ Your qualifying pace is really a shit those days.

_ I know....and please... don't remind me.

_ But...what about your back? It's better?

_ It's better now.

 

But Sebastian could see the change in Kimi's expression, he seemed more serious, even sad.

Sebastian didn't understand why Kimi insist in not showing what he was feeling, he doesn't understood why he haven't said anything to him, why he keep hiding the problem.

 

_ Are you sure it is a good idea to continue to race with this problem? 

_ I'm taking all the necessary precautions, don't worry. 

_ You know that you don't need to race. They haven't paid you, they broke the contract! You can stop and start a treatment sooner. 

_ No! I. .. I like.... I love to run, I...I know that I have no chance to win the title, but I can still be the 2nd place, and if I don't race what would I win? I will be the one losing. 

_ Losing what? It's your health I'm talking about, you image, take care of it don't make you lose anything! 

_ Can you please forget it, I got it under control. 

_ Forget it? How can I forget what I saw? 

_ That was why I didn't want to tell you! I need to take care of it alone, I don't want help...I don't need help ... it's so hard for you to understand? 

_ It is. Why go through this alone if you know that you can count on me? Why are you punishing yourself? 

_ ... 

_ YOU BETTER ANSWER ME! 

_ ... 

_ ANSWER ME!

 

 Sebastian could see that he let himself by guided by his emotions, he didn't even realized that he have raised his voice, not until he had seen Hamilton and Roscoe, who was probably coming to greet them, stop and look at them in astonishment.

The same could be said about Raikkonen that looked at him as if he had hit him ...

 

_ Kimi ... I didn't want to sound this way ...

 

That look was too many emotions to Sebastian handle, he really had fucked it up.

He tried to prevent Raikkonen from getting away by holding his arm, but the look he received was one of the worst kind, almost daring him to do something. And Sebastian let go of Raikkonen, who leaves almost immediately.

 

Hamilton was feeling pretty fine even if his race was not the best, he cannot explain, but somehow he was feeling very well, so well that he decided to go out and take Roscoe to a walk, and he could see that Roscoe was pretty damn excited about it.

Hamilton knew his puppy, so when Roscoe started getting all excited and tail wagging, he knew immediately that Vettel was close.

Roscoe came to worship the German after he had given some goodies for him, saying that he was the paddock mascot.

And he couldn't be more right, so Roscoe guided him to where Vettel was, and Hamilton was not surprised to see that Raikkonen was also there.

What really scared him was seeing the sudden change in the behavior of both drivers, it was so strange that he decided to go there and interrupted it. But before he could do anything, he saw Vettel begin to increase his voice and gesturing wildly while Raikkonen spoke quietly, avoiding facing Vettel ... Hamilton cannot help but remember what Webber said on the plane.  _"... as if someone had hit him ... I think it was Vettel ..."_

Instinctively he approached, only to be shocked to hear.

 

"YOU BETTER ANSWER ME!"

"ANSWER ME!"

 

Hamilton have never seen Vettel raise his voice or shout in his life, even when he was angry.

He didn't know what to think, and he can see that Vettel had noticed him there, but before he could do something, Raikkonen started to walk away ... And Hamilton almost jumped in the middle of the two when he saw the expression on Vettel's face when he noticed that Raikkonen ignored him and was leaving. His heart stopped when he saw Vettel grap Raikkonen's arm and practically pull him back.

The look in Raikkonen's eyes...it was something that Hamilton was familiar with, the look that dares you to do something, and at the same time says that if you do there will be consequences.

when that happened to him, he relented, and apparently so did Vettel when he dropped Raikkonen's arm and let him go ... Hamilton was slightly relieved, that was a reaction he expected from Raikkonen ... But now that he saw everything, he felt that he has the right to know or at least to ask about what was happening.

 

_ Is everything okay between you two? 

_ No. .. I'm an idiot. 

_ I really don't know about it, but I don't think he will stay forever upset. 

_ I know ... it's just that I was ... I didn't want to act that way ... I didn't mean to yell at him ... aahh ... so how is my boy? Um, how is my Roscoe? 

_ Yours? You bought his friendship. 

_ It's not bought, Roscoe just couldn't resist my charm. 

_ So ... do you want to take him for a walk? 

_ Can I? 

_ Sure! Roscoe will bring you back safe and sound! 

_ Thank you, Lewis. 

_ You're welcome...have fun!

 

Hamilton decided to let Vettel take Roscoe for a walk, he knows how it is to feel bad about something you do but that you also didn't understand, and there is nothing like a canine company to cheer you up ... Vettel may not be a friend, but there is no reason for Hamilton to not sympathize with the situation that he saw.

That's why he let the two go, it got him feeling like the best person in the entire world ... and he couldn't wait to find his Nico and tell him what happened.


	12. Japanese GP - part 2

Sebastian was so thoughtful that he let Roscoe guide him, he knew he had exaggerated in his reaction, but at the same time he believed that such reaction was justified, Kimi continued to act irresponsibly with regard to his health, still didn’t telling him things, and see Kimi in pain really left him scared.

But that didn’t ease the guilt he felt , Sebastian always knew that Kimi hated when people shout at him, he never explained why, but Sebastian had seen it before… once when Kimi and Tommi have brought him to Finland, to know the country…

...there he saw a discussion between Kimi and Rami , while the discussion was being a little verbal and somewhat physically, everything was okay , but when Rami started screaming Kimi ‘s reaction was very strange for Sebastian , he first had shrunk , then increase his voice but not enough to be considered a shout, he also moved as if he wanted the discussion become physical or to be over soon, and in the end he just had that look on his face, the one that see beyond your soul and tells you that you had committed the worst offense possible. ..It was so intense that Rami tried to fix the situation as soon as possible ...

Kimi never explained his problem with screams and Sebastian never asked .

Sebastian knew that he was the problem, everything was fine, they even had arranged the things to fly back together to Switzerland, the problem was that for some reason he was offended because Kimi didn’t tell him what was going on, Kimi, who always has been so straightforward...

Sebastian understand his motives, it has always been that way, Kimi didn’t like to bother others with his problems, especially those who were dear to him, they were the first to be excluded from the more complicated matters of his private life, it was so in the Ferrari case, on the death of his father, in the crash on WRC, in his divorce with Jenni, and now with his injury problems coming from his accident on WRC…and the worst was that Sebastian believes that there’s more behind Kimi’s evasive answers.

But how could he explain himself? How would he separate the rational from the emotional ? Sebastian already considered himself important enough to know everything and to make matters worse ... he feels that Christian and Heikki knew about what was happening and none of them had told him anything.  
He didn’t know with whom he was really angry at. If it was with the two who know and didn't tell him, if it was with Kimi that had tell his problems to his boss and coach, but not to him, or if was angry at himself for losing control the way he did, letting his emotions, his anger dominate him and making him shout at Kimi.

If the past had taught him something, it was that he had to talk to Kimi and it had to be soon, but fate is a asshole and now he was with Roscoe, he would have to walk the dog, return it to Lewis and then talk to Kimi, until there it will be already too late, it was easier accept the defeat, call Britta and ask for arrange another flight for him, because he was sure that Kimi wouldn’t want him on the same flight as him ...

  
When Sebastian was picking up his phone to talk to Britta, almost accepting his defeat, he noticed that he was back in the hotel ... looking down he saw Roscoe, half-smiling and drooling, with his tail wagging.

_ Roscoe, my boy! How did you know that this was what I wanted?

Grabbing Roscoe and bring him into his arms Sebastian ran to the room where he thought Kimi was.

_ Kimi ... Kimiiii! Open the door it's me!

Nothing happened ...

_ Kimi! I have a dog and I'm not afraid to use it! Kimi!

Raikkonen has opened the door and greeted Sebastian with his typical poker face ...

_ Why are you with Lewis dog ?

  
_ I don’t know, he asked if he wanted to take Roscoe to a walk, and I think I kind of accepted it?

Raikkonen allowed Sebastian to enter the room, and Sebastian can see that Kimi was already packing his things to catch the flight.

He decided to sit down, putting Roscoe on his lap as he watched Kimi continue to get ready. Sebastian took a deep breath and looked at Roscoe, who looked back at him and he could almost be sure that if the dog could speak, he would be saying  _"what are you waiting for?"_  ... And he knew it was now or never.

_ Kimi ... I ... I'm sorry. I shouldn’t have yelled at you in the lobby ... I was nervous, it’s the adrenaline I think ... I know you don’t like when people yell at you, and I know I shouldn’t have grabbed at you ... I don’t know what to say ... I just wanted you to tell me that everything is fine between us.

  
_ Have you finished with this bullshit? It isn’t the adrenaline that made you do it, don’t lie to me, don’t lie to yourself.

  
_ Of course it was, I was ... I'm worried about you!

  
_ Bullshit ...

  
_ It's not a fucking bullshit ! I'm worried ok…and I'm not stupid, you told Christian what is happening, Heikki also knew ... even the McLaren doctor knows ... and she is from McLaren, Mc…fucking…Laren!! And you didn’t tell me anything! You hid it from me! And you say I'm your friend! Friends don’t hide things from one another! Of course I was angry ... everyone knew something ... everyone but ME!

  
_ Now I'm hearing the truth. It's always you ... you and you.

  
_ I thought you didn’t care about that.

  
_ And I don’t. I like you this way. I just wanted you to be focused on yourself…

  
_ And hide things from me will do any good? You cannot decide what's best for me!

  
_ I wasn’t deciding what's best for you. I was and always been, only separating my problems of your priorities. This has worked very well so far. I don’t know how things got out of control.

  
_ That doesn’t change the fact that you have told it to others and didn’t tell me anything.

  
_ I didn’t tell it to anyone! I only said the necessary to Christian and only to him, to him know how to handle the situation if it got out of control ... like now.

Sebastian hold Roscoe tighter, his eyes were full of water ...

_ I just wish you had told me first ... I didn’t want to find out that way ... especially like that ... I thought of so many things ... and if it is serious ... and if something happens to you ... what I’m going to do.

  
_ If you stop for a minute and think how the three times world champion that you are, being rational and logical, you would see that everything is under control, I have it all settled, and I would tell you at the right time.

  
_ I ...

  
_ are a selfish, you are angry because I didn’t tell you… Did you felt excluded? Like I didn’t care about you?

  
_ Yes.

  
_ Pffft ... you’re blind ... and a selfish bastard… but… you're my selfish bastard.

Sebastian raised his head to look at Raikkonen, and he could see the older man smiling at him.

_ You'll stay here looking at me like an idiot, or you will pack your things? We have a flight to catch.

  
_ I forgot! I'm going….

Sebastian leave Roscoe on the floor and stood up, he paused for a moment and gave Kimi a hug, while holding him, Sebastian thought about something, and then gave a light kiss on Kimi’s lips, he separated himself from Kimi, and before the other man could do something he headed toward the exit.

Raikkonen remained motionless for a few seconds, but quickly regained consciousness in time to see that Vettel would leave the room if he don’t do something.

_ Seb ...

Sebastian froze.

_ Yes

  
_ Actually there is one more thing ...

  
_ You don’t need to tell me if you don’t want to.

  
_ I need to say, you will know about it anyway ... things between me and Lotus aren’t going very well.

  
_ I noticed.

  
_ I don’t know what to do, neither how to proceed, so I set up a meeting with Steve ... so don’t be surprised if you hear something about my motivation, or my participation in the next GP ...

  
_ You’re telling me that you wouldn’t stop racing for health reasons, but you would stop for … business?

  
_ Yes. I love racing more than anything in this life ... but I have principles ... business are business ... I'm not as good as you in that area, I let the things go to far, and now I feel that if I don’t do something fast I will be prejudiced… so I called Steve.

  
_ You can ask for my help, tell me your problem, we can find a solution together.

  
_ Hehehe ... I can’t ... however much I trust you ... it would not be fair nor it would be right to tell you about the internal affairs of an opposing team.

  
_ Make sense…but ...

  
_ No buts, don’t make me regret telling you this…

  
_ Okay…I will not insist Kimi ... but thank you for telling me at least part of it… this means a lot to me.

  
_ I know... now go pack your things.

  
_ Ok, my God, you're moody.

  
_ Me?! Go .... and leave Roscoe with me... I'll will deliver him to Lewis.

  
_ Really?

  
_ Yes!...Seb… be quick or I'll leave you behind.

  
_ I’m going…I’m going.

Hamilton was looking for Rosberg ... but Nico had a habit of being in places where he should not be, and disappear when he was needed ...  
He still a little confused with everything that he saw, but what else could he do, he couldn’t intervene in the situation, and he no longer had Nicole to talk to ... he just have Nico.  
And Nico decided to disappear ...

_ Lewis?

Hamilton froze, he didn’t expect to see Raikkonen before the Indian GP, and there he was with Roscoe, and from posture of the Finnish he cannot help imagined that Roscoe was being used as a hostage.

_ Hi…Kimi.

_"No sudden movements ... he can interpret it as an attack."_

_ Sebastian is a little fumbling, so he let Roscoe with me and I ... well ... I decided to bring him back to you.

  
_ Thanks Kimi ...

Hamilton stretched his arms to catch Roscoe, but Raikkonen continued with the dog in his arms.

_ I know how important a dog is for it’s owner. I had three. Excellent companies. They’re loyal, they can see and hear everything, and yet would not tell anyone anything. Another thing I admire about them is that once you win their loyalty, no matter what you do, even if you yell at them, or be a little more aggressive than necessary, they remain loyal to you ... they'll defend you until they die.

  
_ They are amazing creatures.

  
_ Yeah.

  
_ Okay Kimi ... your this chat is kind of bizarre ...

  
_ I know.... my day sucks... sorry ... but I came up here with other things in mind besides Roscoe.

Hamilton took a deep breath, everything was so crazy, he didn’t understand what was happening, first Vettel , then Vettel and Raikkonen, then Roscoe… now Raikkonen again ... it was like a Twilight Zone episode.

_ And what would that be?

  
_ I noticed that you saw me and Sebastian in a little misunderstanding ... and I ... I would like it to stay just between us.

  
_ Kimi…. I ...

  
_ I understand the need to tell someone, but I'd really like that you kept it to yourself. You can always talk to Roscoe. And Seb thinks you're a nice guy, you can talk to him ...

  
_ Kimi don’t get me wrong ... but if there is nothing wrong why you want to hide it.

  
_ I don’t know ... something tells me it's better this way ...

  
_ Hmmm ... okay guy ... just give me Roscoe.

Hamilton could see that Raikkonen had not noticed that he still had Roscoe in his arms, Hamilton was sure that behind those sunglasses Raikkonen's eyes were wide. And he quickly returned Roscoe to Hamilton.

_ Thank you.

  
_ It’s okay ... I just want to get out of this whole craziness that I got myself into ... and Kimi ... if you are so concerned with others knowing or interpreting something, you should be more careful, you two aren’t exactly discrete .

Raikkonen smiled and pat Roscoe’s head.

  
_ I know ... and I don’t mind you guys commenting it, what I care about are things such as what happened today, those things can be misinterpreted.

  
_ Oh ..

  
_ I have to go ... I'm late .... and Lewis, thank you.

.  
While Raikkonen was walking away Hamilton looked at Roscoe who was looking at him with a innocent face ...  _" look at what you 've gotten me into ! "_  
.  
.  
.  
Raikkonen was the fastest possible to grab his things, and on the way to the airport Steve finally called him.  
Steve was clear about what he was going to do, saying that his future was already set , and that he should continue calmly on the issue with Lotus , that in the end it’s a win win situation , all he had to do was endure five more races and since his relationship with employees was still good it wouldn’t be so difficult.  
Raikkonen thought Steve was wrong and the things were not very simple , that for him to deal with certain behaviors isn't easy , but he had always relied on Steve and Steve never disappointed him…so he decided to follow Steve's advice.  
Leave tomorrow for tomorrow was Toni motto , his childhood friend had a great philosophy of life , and he decided to adopt this philosophy as he followed the Steve guidance, for it is the only thing he had in the moment .  
Five more races...he won’t even noticed it.

_"what can go wrong in five races?"_


	13. Steve

Steve knew Raikkonen for a very long time, he knew all about the Iceman's fame, how it was born and cultivated, the face without expressions or feelings was a facade that Raikkonen probably would use for his entire lifetime. And the older he got, the better he was in maintaining the insensitive and rude side of his character.

The fact is that Steve and his father knew the true Raikkonen, and to Steve, Raikkonen was a good man, and to some extent too sensitive for a F1 driver, he clung to the people he like, and Steve saw this as a problem, because when Raikkonen cling to something, and that something is lost, he became heartbroken, inconsolable.  
But he wasn't the crying type, he didn't get depressed, far from it, Steve noticed that every time that it happened Raikkonen closed himself away from the world, he seemed to live in another reality and his physical body just moved and did the things that he was conditioned to do.

Steve saw it a few times during the time he knew Raikkonen. At the time of the Ferrari problem, he felt he had to take care of the problem alone, and he did make the best of the worst situation, but the things got even worst after the accident in the rally and the death of Raikkonen's father, it was so bad that Steve had had to take full control of the financial and personal side Raikkonen's life.

He didn't want that responsibility, he was also against having such power over someone, but Raikkonen seemed to accept it as the best for himself. He saw that Raikkonen had trusted him not only his career, but his life as well.  
So Steve took control, he found a way of returning to F1, he found a team, a car, worked on the Iceman image ... handled the divorce, since he thought that Jenni's behavior was harmful to Raikkonen ... he took care of all the details of contracts from Lotus and Ferrari... to Steve it was his duty to ensure that Raikkonen could only win no matter the situation.

So when the problems with Lotus started, Steve wanted to adopt a more aggressive stance, but Raikkonen wanted to be more patient, saying that he understand the team's situation ... Steve really wanted Raikkonen to be more assertive, but after 3 years of having absolute control over everything, Steve felt compelled to let Raikkonen decide, that was his life, a man had to feel in control of his life, and to see Raikkonen doing it let Steve happy ... but that goodwill could be harmful, and it was his job to make sure Raikkonen always have the advantage.

Steve wasn't surprised when Raikkonen called him, the request was simple, a meeting, a opnion on how to proceed. Steve was more than happy in opine, he liked the new dynamic between him and Raikkonen, since the beginning of the year Raikkonen looked increasingly more alike to the boy he meet in F300, the precocious talent from Sauber, the Iceman from McLaren.

Steve was still feeling that he had failed with Raikkonen when he cannot close a contract with RBR, he knew that even if a title don't come, race alongside Vettel would be an enormous happiness to Raikkonen.

But Marko had used all of his connections and political powers to stand against his conditions to Raikkonen fill the empty seat, and the old man risked everything to stop him, Steve really wanted to fight harder, he even created false suitors for Raikkonen, but he knew that he had something to lose, while Marko hadn't, but that didn't change the fact that he failed to put Raikkonen on a RBR car...it saddened him, because he had always noticed how much Raikkonen enjoyed Vettel's company, how clinging to the young German Raikkonen had become, that love was so huge that Steve had already planned what to do if the two got into any kind of irreversible trouble, he knew that if Vettel for some reason decided to leave Raikkonen, or hurt him to the point of no return, Raikkonen would be back that horrible state of complete detachment from reality. And he couldn't let that happen to his driver.

But worst case scenario aside, Steve saw how Vettel's presence was good to Raikkonen's spirit, and if someone had such impact in his driver he feels obliged to came into contact with that person, and it wasn't different with the boy, he had in several times talked to the boy, many of them without consulting Raikkonen, he always thought that the Finn couldn't blame him for using the power that Raikkonen himself had given to him.

He knew that Raikkonen was tired with the situation and that he was also concerned with how Vettel would react if he knew of the situation as a whole, the physical problems and financial issues, Raikkonen even confessed to Steve that he wanted Vettel to be champion before they explode with everything, he wanted the spotlight in the german's triumph and not in his fight within the team, and so was trying to hide the things from Vettel ...

So Steve was startled when he while talking to Vettel realized that the boy already seemed aware of at least part of what was happening.

_ Hi Steve! You won't believe, but Kimi was talking about you.

_ Really?

_ Yeah, he said that you two had an appointment, something to do with the finances ...

_ I don't believe he said that ...

_ He wasn't supossed to tell me? My God! Steve! It wasn't his fault! I insisted, threatened, shouted ... you know how much he hates yelling...he didn't mean it ...

_ Calm down boy, I'm surprised at the situation and I'm not mad at him.

_ Oh...so...it was you!

_ Me?

_ You...you advised him to not tell me!

_ No! It wasn't me, he decided it by himself.

_ It's a shame, I would have prefered that you had used your magical powers to convencer him.

_ Or you could be happy to see that I don't have as much power over him as I appear to I have.

_ Hehehe...you better take care of yourself, nobody mess with my man!

_ Your? .... forget it...I called because I would like to ask you a favor.

_ Name it.

_ Make him happy, as much as you can, I don't believe I have good news awaiting for him.

_ Are you in Switzerland?

_ No, but I will meet him there.

_ Whatever is happening, is it that bad?

_ It will not be pleasant for anyone, and you know how he doesn't like scandals.

_ Okay, I will stop asking ... and don't worry, I will do everything for him to forget about those problems even if it is only for a day.

_ Thank you Sebastian. Goodbye.

_ Bye.

Steve remembered that at first didn't understand Raikkonen's fascination on the boy, but in the last three years he came to understand and appreciate the boy too. Steve realized that Vettel really cared about Raikkonen, and it relieved him, for he had one more person that would ensure only the best for Raikkonen.

It was always been that way, Steve saw his father repeatedly entrust Raikkonen's welfare in the hands of other people, and he was doing it too ... it was necessary because he couldn't always be the most understandable guy, it was necessary another person to take care of the emotional side, mother, brother, friends, because if he get too much involved he wouldn't do his job right.   
Because of it he and his father before him, always liked the presence of Toni, Mika, Kuulta, and in the last 6 years, Vettel.

They all were there to defend Raikkonen against the press, against the bad rumours, to speak for him, to show the world that he was special.

Some might say that he and his father had isolated Raikkonen from the real world, that they had protected him so much that he had no real idea of what is to be an F1 driver, Steve sees it differently, for he, Raikkonen had a unique knowledge of how Formula 1 worked, he knew closely how cruel it can be ... and that's why in his return to the category Steve did everything possible, from right to wrong, to make sure that Raikkonen would return with powers greater than any other driver, he wouldn't be scolded by his words or by his manners, not anymore ...

But Steve knew he had to concentrate, it would be a tough fight ahead of him, one that he had to win.   
At least he had with him, not only the future four times world champion, but the entire RBR team, the investors, some of the older drivers, and the entire finnish press...   
But to Steve, the friendship between the two drivers was one of the greatest assets that Raikkonen could have offered to him.   
He was ready to fight, he had separated their weapons and armed their defenses, and Steve was sure Vettel would take care of Raikkonen, while he left to fight.

They didn't know him, didn't know what he was capable of, and he was willing to shed blood to ensure what his driver deserves.


	14. Free of concerns

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I tried something different here, I hope you guys like it... I tried to make it as clear as possible that both are guilty for the way things are. And I writed several times about the WRC crash, I was inspired by this crash:
> 
> http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HGK7xYPqZX4
> 
> Thank you guys, feel free to write your toughts about the way I'm leading the things here... and sorry for my english.  
> XD

Steve's call was at least strange,  _"let him happy, what kind of request was that?"_  
Vettel decided to ignore the strangeness of it and abide to the request, it wasn't necessary to ask him to do something like that, but he understood that Steve wanted to emphasize.

Vettel still had something else in mind, the brief kiss he gave in Kimi, he had no idea what went through his mind to him to do something like that ... he just wanted to, and he always got what he wanted.  
Of course that he was afraid of the reaction of Finn, so afraid that he tried to get out of the room as quickly as possible.  
But when Kimi not only called him back, but also told him that there was something else going on, Vettel cannot help but to understand that as a  _"yes, I liked what you did."_  
And it was not only that, the two would get back together to Switzerland, and now there's Steve's call, to Vettel, it was fate telling him to try again.

When they boarded the plane, the silence engulfed the environment.  
Vettel always knew when to be quiet and when to speak, and despite the need to say something, Vettel knew that wasn't the time, and to his own unhappiness, Vettel fell asleep.

When he awoke, he was faced with a Kimi looking deeply into nothingness.

_ What are you thinking of?

_ I'm trying to think about nothing.

And Vettel could feel the silence coming back again ...  _"what a boring travel"_  ... and he decided to stop the silence before they fall into sameness.  
If Kimi called him for they to travel together, it certainly wasn't for him to be quiet and let Kimi get lost in his thoughts, Kimi could do it alone, his friend had brought him in this travel with a bigger goal in mind.

_ What did you think?

_ About what?

_ The kiss ...

_ You seriously want to talk about it?

_ Why don't you want to? What do you think of it? Don't like it? Don't wanna talk about it?

_ I don't wanna talk about it.

Vettel thought that Kimi just needed an incentive, he was probably embarrassed, moreover, in certain matters Kimi has always been shy, especially when he was not with a drink in his hand to help.  
Vettel approached Kimi, sitting in front of him, and stood there staring until Kimi decided to look back at him.

_ What do you want?

_ I ask you, what do you want? You asked me to come with you. And it certainly wasn't me stay here only gracing the environment.

_ It wasn't ... I just ...

And Vettel couldn't help himself ,  _" that everything goes to hell, I don't care! "_  ....  
He held Kimi's head with both hands and grabbed his short hair and pulled him closer , Vettel could barely see the Kimi's astonishment before he kissed him .  
And this time Vettel wanted more , he demanded more , he forced Kimi to allow him to explore his mouth, he could feel Kimi's hands, one on his shoulder grabbing his shirt and bringing closer, the other on his chest, opened and pushing him away .  
And if Kimi doesn't know what he wanted , Vettel knew , and he wanted more, letting of of Kimi 's hair and grabbing both of his hands and pressing his body against Kimi's.

It took a while, but Kimi finally started to participate, and for Vettel it was like a pole position, but a pole to him wasn't enough, he wanted a victory .  
And using his body to hold Kimi, Vettel brought his hand to Kimi's neck and squeezed it, he could feel the heartbeat, he could feel the surprise and effort to breathe, and it made him feel powerful .  
Vettel noted that Kimi didn't fight against any of it and decided to see how far he could take it, and while his mouth devoured Kimi , Vettel squeezed his neck more and more and more until he felt that Kimi was struggling against him .

Vettel eased his hold of Raikkonen's neck and pressed their foreheads, so he can look deep into those eyes and listen to the panting.  
Vettel heard Kimi's hoarsely voice speaking with some emotion for the first time since they boarded.

_ What the hell was that?

_ I don't know, but it was good!

_ Why did you do it Seb?

_ Because I wanted, and you let, so I did ... and would do it again.

Vettel returned to kiss Raikkonen and now he also pinch the finn.

_ Aaaah ... ouch .. Seeeb ... aargh

Vettel was worshiping hear those noises, those were the sounds he wanted to hear from Kimi ... not those sounds of pain ... but these, somewhere between pain and pleasure ... and for him to know that he was responsible for those sounds made ??him feel more powerful than anything in the world. Kimi was one of the strongest man that he knows and to see he so submissive to him, it was the true power.

But Vettel's reign didn't last long, and Raikkonen began to fight against him.

_ Stop it ...

Vettel pulled away.

_ Why?

_ How do I explain this? If you keep this up I'll end full of bruises.

_ Explain what? As far as everyone know, nothing happened, and then you can go out at night, hug a girl or two and voila, there is the explanation for your bruises.

Raikkonen started laughing and pushed Vettel away from him.

_ It's not only that. Who says you're the boss? That you can do what you want with me?

_ Nobody. But that's how it goes.

_ Hey hey, easy there, and shouldn't I have a opinion on that ?

_ No.

Vettel said what he wanted, and waited for the worst , although they know each other for several years, he sometimes still got confused Kimi's expressions. But that was what he thought , and he was willing to risk ... what was a " No"  when you have kissed and almost asphyxiated someone.  
But the smile on Kimi's face was his victory, he risked all and won .

_ I think I deserve someone better .

_ And there is someone better than me?

_ Heheheh ... Dear Odin, I created a monster .

_ Monster ? I am perfect!

_ Don't be arrogant ...

Vettel became serious, he held Raikkonen's face with a certain affection and looked firmly in his eyes .

_ Kimi ... you have to agreed that one thing is true .... maybe I'm not the best , but I'm the best for you .

_ Okay...

_ You will not question me? Fight against me?

_ No. You 're right ... besides, the one who gets offended , screaming and kicking here, is you ... if both of us decided to be like this, we will kill ourself within hours .

_ Kill ourselfs? I'm sorry , but I would win a fight against you. Heikki's workout left me agile and strong as a bull .

_ That's true ...

And Raikkonen and Vettel arose and both stared at each other, both in a stare fight, and gently Raikkonen used one leg and almost without moving , he tripped Vettel, that fell to the ground .  
Vettel was on the ground in shock , but could see Raikkonen smiling at him as he crouched to talk ...

_ ... but remember that I 'm more experienced .

With that Raikkonen rose again , winked at Vettel and turned to sit .  
Vettel couldn't contain his smile, that was worth it , Kimi wouldn't give in easily , fight and beat someone like that is incredible , there was no greater pleasure . Many criticized him, because he sees everything in life as a competition , but to Vettel, life was nothing but a big competition ... and he wouldn't accept anything less than the first place, nothing less than victory ... and Kimi is an strong opponent , they had different ways of approach , but Vettel knew he couldn't interpret Kimi's submission as a defeat , he knows the older driver long enough to see it was a form of control too.

Kimi was the calm one, and sometimes it appeared that Kimi didn't enforced his wills , sometimes a stranger, who didn't know better could see this as negligence or as someone who didn't have a dominant personality, that Kimi wasn't a alpha male , but this was Kimi's strength and Vettel saw it very well , Kimi slowly make you want to protect him , defend him , and then when you noticed, his opnion, his presence and his joy means more to you than anything else ... to Vettel it was power , a different form of power and domination , but that didn't stop it from being one of the strongest forms of power that he ever meet.

Vettel returned to sit facing Raikkonen, both of them smiling.

_ Would you accept something more than that?

_ More of what?

_ More than just kisses?

_ Will you continue to bruise me and try to kill me?

_ The pinches are payback for what you did to me when my legs were numb ... as for the try to murder you part ... I can't promise anything.

_ I don't see why not.

_ Seriously?!

_ I will not repeat myself.

Vettel didn't think twice and throwed himself into Raikkonen , the fact that Raikkonen was participating, thrilled him even more, he wanted to try something different, more daring, he wanted to try, he had to try .  
So he aproximou his thumb leaving it resting near Kimi's mouth and waited to see what the other would do, so when Kimi slightly opened his mouth, Vettel attacked, first the thumb ... and he watched as he did all the work, because Kimi was lazy enough to not do anything else but to stay there and let him.  
Vettel then decided to dare a little more , he wanted to see what Kimi would let him do, his first attempt was very productive, he didn't see why not try something else.  
He then withdrew his thumb and replaces it with two fingers, and he enjoyed himself and abused of his permission, he explored everything he could, and for some reason , that he didn't know from where it came from, he put his fingers deeper into Kimi's throat until he could see and felt Kimi fight the invasion , and he repeated the movement sometimes even after he heard Kimi choking on his hand and seeing the tears streaming down his face, He only stoped when his ribs were hit .

_ Why did you do that ?

Vettel didn't understand why Kimi had hit him in ribs, he wasn't doing nothing wrong.  
Raikkonen, who was panting, looked at him with eyes watery eyes...

_ It's me who wonder why I let you do this to me .

Vettel also questioned it, why they were doing it , that would end their friendship , how they would support something like that, how they would keep going and ignore it . He never believed in the term 'friends with benefits' , for him those two things were very different, with very clear lines separating them, and what they were doing was nearing the limit, if it hadn't already passed .  
But still, he didn't understand why he couldn't stop thinking about it ...

After all these years , after all that they have gone throught, at every achievement of his, Kimi supported him and said that he should want more and more , and never be satisfied . And as the years went by, his own attitude towards the older man has changed, he began to face him, to question him, to demand explanations ... it was as if the dynamics between them was gradually leading them to this very moment .  
Vettel didn't see it as a deviation from his character, far from it , for him it was his nature, he wanted everything , and he would have everything and some more .  
He already had Kimi's attention, friendship, and affection, but he wanted more ... he wanted Kimi all to himself , no one else would have the same friendship and dedication from the finn, Kimi belonged to him . The finnish loyalty belonged to him and no one else ....

Raikkonen knew I had some guilt in all this, ever since he meet Sebastian, the boy was already a little possessive and somewhat obsessed, but he instead of seeing it as a flaw that should be controlled, he saw it as something good, something that made Sebastian unique.

Sebastian was always hungry for victories, for power, dominion, he was insatiable, and he praised it, he encouraged all this ... he wanted Sebastian to see that he and Alonso and Hamilton aren't as unattainable and superiors as they appeared to be, he wanted Sebastian to see that he can be above them all, all the obstacles, criticisms and drivers... so when he noticed that Sebastian had began to face him and question him, for him it was a clear sign that Sebastian saw himself as an equal ... it was what he always wanted, it is clear that things got a little bit out of control, and Sebastian began to feel superior to all others, but that didn't bother him at all, he saw it as a victory, he was partly responsible for the creation of that brutal driver that in the last four years was so dominant ... so ... everytime he felt like he should take offense or oppose to something ... he stoped and looked at what stood in front of him, the man that sometimes exploded in so many emotions and showed his more possessive and aggressive side, that man was the fruit of his hard work and dedication. Nothing and no one would get in the way of what he built, not even him....

_ I overreacted, I'm sorry.

_ Don't be sorry ... if you did what you did, it's because I let you do.

_ Not ... no ... I overdid it again ...

_ Shut up, DON'T... SAY ... I'M ... SORRY. You don't apologize, you demand apologies.

_ No Kimi! It is not how it works ... for you ... at least for you ... I would always apologize if it is necessary.

They looked at each other for a while, and Vettel held Raikkonen's hand, and began stroking the scar on his wrist.

_ What do you want to do? Something on your mind?

_ No.

_ So I have a suggestion ... We could exploit this situation a little more ...  
  
_ No... First you get the title ... then we see what we do.

_ You sucks.

_ I'm not here only for your enjoyment, and it's not like we have a lot of time, we're about to land.

_ What?

_ You slept most of the trip, we're already in Switzerland.

_ Seriousl?! Why didn't wake me up?

_ You seemed to need sleep, Huovinen is killing you.

_ Don't remind me, I have a new diet list to follow this week ...

_ You gave me an idea.

_ I ... did?

_ Let's eat!

_ What? I can't ...

_ Only one day will not kill you, say what you want to eat and we'll eat ... better yet, there's food on this plane?

_ Yes ... but ...

_ We eat a little here, the plane land and we will go to this place that I have found, they are great, you can put anything you want on your ice cream ... I once got to eat one that weight more than 2 kilos ......

Vettel watched as Raikkonen spoke with a great excitement about the ice cream and something weird, apparently a mix of coke and ice cream ... that was his friend as he knew, this was the man from the beginning of the year, before the back pain, before problems within the team ... and how Vettel loved this man, loved him so much that he could barely hold the smile just hearing his name ... Steve could rest easy, at least this day Raikkonen would be free of major concerns.


	15. The dinner

Alonso wasn't as confident as he appeared. But he knew he had to appear that way to the public and to the opponents or else he would be swallowed up by the competition.  
He always knew about this need, and this attitude was essential for him to win his two world titles.  
That was his difference, his confidence, his ability to mess with the opponent's psychologic, it had to be that way because since the beginning of his career he disputed the championship with a living racing legend and a guy who showed as much emotions as a wall.

In the end Alonso can say that both of them were successful, he possibly more than Raikkonen, but that doesn't change the fact that he had taked Raikkonen's seat at Ferrari, and yet hadn't managed to do, what Räikkönen did, win the drivers' title and the constructors title.  
And Montezemolo made sure to remind him of that, every single time.

The worst is that Alonso knew why he haven't won yet, his car was always poorly designed, and it was destroying his performance.  
He often wondered if it was also the reason why Raikkonen performance slowly faded in his last year at Ferrari, and it deeply scared him as the championship was coming to an end, year after year, he saw happening to him what had happened to  
Raikkonen, and worse, his main rival during his time Ferrari was a kid driving a super car, Vettel.

He didn't deny that Vettel was good, he just thought that if they had the same car, it would be he the winner.  
But the fact was that he didn't have this car, and no one would care about it, Formula 1 was a cruel sport and you were as good as your last result, and his latest results weren't impressive.

But nothing is so bad that it can not get worse, and after his disagreement with Montezemolo, came the news that Raikkonen could return to the team.  
Alonso didn't like it, it is clear that by defeating Raikkonen within the same team and with similar cars would be fantastic for his career, but that was what everyone expected of him, and if he failed, everything he had done for Ferrari would be left  
in doubt.  
This already occurs to him before, when he moved to McLaren ... what happened there is remembered even today.  
So, to Alonso nobody had the right to judge him because he didn't want Raikkonen on the team .

But the fact is that in the end it was also a political fight and a show of force, and Alonso knew he had some guilt over the whole thing.  
In the end, Montezemolo showed that it was he who rules and Alonso was just another driver, and the worst , Montezemolo said that he was just another driver who haven't even won a title by the team ...  
Then Raikkonen showed and made Montezemolo admit he needed him ...  
And he, well he couldn't do much more besides fighting to try to maintain the status of number 1.

But the things were far from over, at every race Vettel was destroying them all. Alonso couldn't stand it anymore. But one thing at a time, today would be his dinner with Raikkonen, and he would make it clear how things are on the team ... the problem was that he couldn't find the Finn, Raikkonen have just dissapeared and he wasn't willing to go Vettel for information.

Without options, Alonso called Webber.

_ Hi mate.

_ Hi!

_ How is things around?

_ Mark ... can I ask a favor?

_ Of course.

_ If you find Vettel can you ask him to tell Raikkonen to answer his phone.

_ Fernando, if Raikkonen does not want to talk to you, Vettel will not help you.

_ I have to try.

_ All right, if I find Vettel I will pass your message. See you later!

_ Bye

Alonso couldn't get more frustrated, first no one seems to noticed that Raikkonen just appeared on Thursday, then he qualified poorly, and to complete his frustrating weekend Vettel won the race.  
His weekend couldn't be worse until Montezolo started to thinking that he didn't dined with Raikkonen because he was challenging him, so Montezemolo himself arranged the dinner and now if it weren't enough to him have dinner with Raikkonen, a guy he didn't really know, he would have Domenicali's company.

_"How wonderful ..."_

Alonso didn't really know what to talk about at dinner, Raikkonen and Domenicali were having totally random conversations and sometimes they spoke of a time of glory which he didn't participated, Alonso was feeling excluded, and this couldn't happen, it all starts here, and if he allow himself to be overshadowed by Raikkonen now, then when the two tornarem teammates he will be forgotten.  
Without really knowing how to take Raikkonen out of the game, Alonso just thought of about the only thing that would unsettle the Finn.

_ And Vettel? How is he? I hear that you are always traveling together.

And Raikkonen stopped ... Alonso made a mental note to thank Rosberg and his big mouth.  
Unfortunately Raikkonen's fish face didn't last long, but lasted long enough for Alonso remember.

_ He is fine, training like a crazy, I get tired just from watching.

_ You watching him while he's training?

_ Yes...it's quite a show.

Raikkonen was challenging him, and Alonso loved a dispute, so why not take advantage of the situation to sharpen his tongue, and know a little more of his future teammate and adversary wits.  
But before he could get a verbal battle, Domenicali happily joined in the conversation.

  
_ Really? This can be good for us, you know our opponent better than anyone else.

No, no and no ... Alonso wouldn't let his personal duel became Raikkonen's propaganda.

_ The opposite is also true, Kimi knows Vettel, but Vettel also knows him.

Raikkonen gave them a lazy smile, as he stirred the food on his plate.

_ No matter how well we know each other, I will not use it against him ... and don't worry Stefano, he also will not take advantage from our friendship.

_ How can you be so sure?

_ I know him for more than six years Fernando, it isn't about being sure, it is about having confidence in someone character. I trust him.

_ I think it's very naive of you.

_ This is how I work, I'm always close to RBR, partly by the confidence they have that I will not take advantage of the situation or information.

_ Unless it's your own team, you didn't hesitate to attack the Lotus.

_ Fernando stop it already! Kimi, I assure that Ferrari supports you.

  
Alonso could see Raikkonen's look at him, but if looks could kill he would be dead a long time. He had nothing to fear when everything Raikkonen would do was look at him.  
He considered himself victorious in their little dispute ... Alonso didn't have anything personal against Raikkonen, but he knew that Raikkonen's return was a political movement against him, just like he, in the past, was one against the same man who is sitting at the table with him, he knows that Raikkonen knows it too, then he had to show he still the strongest one.

 _"Always observe the enemy and learn its weaknesses"_  Alonso was certain that Raikkonen wasn't an enemy, he was more of a stranger at his home, but he knew what Montezemolo wanted, and to protect himself while searching for an out, Alonso had to learn the Raikkonen's weaknesses ... and there was no greater weakness than a german named Vettel.

Everyone saw how Raikkonen was different with Vettel. He is always smiling, he is friendly ... there is a point where he could work on something, in just three sentences citing Vettel, Raikkonen had shown more emotion than in a hour long dinner.

But Alonso knew he also had to be careful,  _"A cornered animal can be even fiercer when attacking to defend itself"_ , so he knew he had only to destabilize Raikkonen and not necessarily attack him ...  
Another point that Alonso had knowledge was Raikkonen's loyalty towards Vettel, it was very noble and honorable, just like a warrior ... Alonso admired Raikkonen because of it, the man have integrity, but it also made clear to him that Raikkonen would take a bullet for Vettel, he would fall in Vettel's place ... the big question is whether Vettel would do the same for Raikkonen.

He tried to not feel bad with himself because he thought about all this, because he was thinking and planing on how to destabilize a person using their best qualities, Alonso always put the blame on the environment in which he was in, because Formula 1 makes your worst side appear.

It wasn't that he wants the things to go badly to the two, far from it, because for more that it bothers him the enormous intimacy of the two drivers, sometimes similar to one he have with Dasha, that wasn't a reason for him to want something bad ... the reason is the fact that he was no longer a child, that his career is coming to an end, and he wants to win another title ... it's all a matter of survival ... and Alonso considered himself a survivor.


	16. Marko

Helmut Marko has been a driver, he wasn't one of the best, but he was a good. So he felt qualified enough to say that he understood the drivers better than the drivers themselves.

Marko notice how the sport has undergone some changes over the years ... it is clear that the political and business side were always there from the very beginning ... to Marko, the ones who thought that Formula 1 was a sport with little politic and not so much elitist was a romantic fool ... Ferrari, Mercedes and McLaren didn't spend so much money and put their cars on tracks just because it was beautiful, everything was a competition to see who was the best, and it was that way in the '50s, '60s, '70s ... but it was in the '70s that thing began to take the form that is today.

For Marko, this new side of the sport, more political, could only be mastered by a driver who was molded to be perfect.  
And he was man who believed that the best time to shape someone is in childhood or youth.  
It was with this philosophy that Marko started the youth RedBull program for young drivers... all those boys would be oriented in every aspect to become a new type of driver ... all of this because Marko believed that drivers like Alonso, Hamilton and Button belonged to an outdated model and no longer represented the future of the sport.  
They all had their qualities, but those qualities were very specific, and they all failed in several aspects that weren't related to racing, and sometimes let external factors affect their races, and for Marko ... this was unacceptable.

Formula 1 is more than just Friday practice, the Saturday classification and the Sunday race ... for him it was the intrigue, the espionage, tricks, the financial and political interests from the teams or from the countries that were involved, to him this is the real F1, the race was only for entertainment, where they show who is the best. And a driver to be complete had to master everything all of this.

And it was precisely in his program that he met Vettel, the boy was naive but had a lot of potential, the problem was that the boy still seeing F1 as a world full of heroes.  
Marko knew that he had to end soon with this unrealistic view of the F1 that Vettel had, the boy was supposed to be the best, but this side of him was overshadowing him

But despite this, Marko decided to bet on the boy, to Marko Vettel was still very young, 19 to 20 years is the ideal age to guide him, and mold him to his future in RedBull, especially now that the boy was extremely nervous and anxious to be in F1, Marko would be the mature presence, the safe haven ... Vettel would support him, hear him, and let himself be guided.

  
But Marko realized from the beginning that he wasn't alone. Horner also had an interest in the boy, but if there was one thing he couldn't stand was  
how Horner saw things in F1, to Marko Horner's view was misguided and  
outdated, but to his advantage Horner was a team principal and had to worry about the present, while he could focus on the future and the future  
had a name, Vettel.

Knowing all of this, it was obvious why Marko dislike Raikkonen.  
Even before he could actually be a constant part of Vettel's life, the finn stood in his way and took that place ... Vettel started to admire and respect Raikkonen, Vettel listened to what the finn had to say, wanted to be with him ... Raikkonen was shaping the man that Vettel would be ... and Marko knew that this should have been his role, not Raikkonen's.  
Raikkonen was the personification of that Marko didn't want in a driver,  
he had no political tact, no skill with press, was rude, disrespectful ... a bad company to Vettel.

Marko tried to approach Vettel, but all that boy felt towards him was gratitude to have secured a place in the RedBull, and has to Horner that Vettel hold an almost father-son relationship, Marko could see that Vettel sees Horner as a mix of boss and father, he obeyed him but he also felt comfortable enough to play and even respond, it generated a very productive dynamic , but that far from the ideal created by Marko.

Another problem Marko faced was Vettel's growing arrogance, the boy thought he was the best of the best, and Marko knew who was to blame ... Raikkonen started with these crazy ideas to encourage the boy, he had witnessed moments when Vettel was with doubts about his performance,  
and went off to talk to Raikkonen, rather than seek his help.  
Marko saw Raikkonen hold Vettel and said that he was right, he had to face the others, that he was the best ... and that obviously resulted in problems on the track, Vettel preferred to take he and Webber out of the race than letting himself be overcome by his teammate. And now everyone called him "the crash kid". To Marko this was another reason to despise Raikkonen.

So it was only natural for him to be happy when the finn abandoned the Formula 1, in his place Button had appeared, but he was a calmer driver that didn't meddle into RBR affairs.

But even away, Raikkonen caused problems, and Marko saw in Tommi the solution, but soon he discovered that the problem was not with the man but the kind, Tommi also is a finn, and rather than being strictly professional, he becomes almost a brother to Vettel. And Raikkonen's shadow even if weakened was still there.  
Marko came to think that finn's shadow would disappear after something happened in Vettel's visit to the WRC, but when Vettel won the title, he came to the press and spoke of how much the finn was important to him ... it took some time to Marko started to hope that the name Raikkonen doesn't existed in Vettel's vocabulary anymore, and then the WRC accident that almost take the finn's life occured, and with it all the illusion that Raikkonen was someone from Vettel's past.

Now Marko had several problems, the boy who would be his image, had a  
personality of his own, one that part of the public hated, then there's his  
new trainner, Huovinen that is a disturbing figure, a bodyguard and almost a Vettel's spy and the boy himself that had absorbed everything Marko have let in his disposal, he was politic and understand the mechanics of personal motivation, he wasn't shaken by psychological games whether they are from inside the team or outside it, he manages his own career, and worse, he applied everything he knew against those he considered a threat, all this combined with a huge ego and the knowledge that he was the best there was.  
Marko knew he was guilty in all this, his need for control allowed others assume control, and it was Horner and Raikkonen the ones that take the opportunity ... they get his perfect driver and turned him into a monster.

And with Raikkonen's return to F1, things only got worse, first the Finn had returned with more powers than when he left ... for someone who leave the sport from the back door, Raikkonen's return was more than spectacular and Marko didn't like it one bit, generalizing it, everyone hated Vettel and loved Raikkonen.

  
Raikkonen did things that would make any driver be punished, but he didn't, and now to make things worse he was close to Vettel all the time .  
His presence not only was felt, she was visible.

And everyone spoke about the two drivers, to the press they were a treat, each appearance a new thing to write or speculate about ... it wasn't for this that he devoted his time to Vettel.  
Then came the possibility to Raikkonen join the team ... Vettel, Horner and even the owner of RedBull seemed to like the idea, everything seemed right, and Marko couldn't let that happen, he used all his sources, his whole political power, all his influence to prevent Raikkonen from get a RBR seat ... and this was his first win over 6 years that those two got together, but it was a victory that was worth of every defeat, he showed he still had a voice in the team and that his voice was strong enough to stop Raikkonen.

But this wasn't enough to get Raikkonen's presence out of RedBull.  
Horner liked Raikkonen, Huovinen was friendly with him and Vettel insisted  
that he was always present.

It was so in the  _"I love him ..."_  incident, in the title dispute and the championship party last year and this year too, and even with all his possible coming to the team, nothing changed between the two.  
But what mattered was that in the end he was victorious and Vettel's teammate next year will be Ricciardo, another good kid, very cheerful for  
his liking, but easier to control. And to Ricciardo's place he would love to put DaCosta, but business are business and in this aspect Kvyat is much more interesting.

Leaving the boys side, Raikkonen seemed to know of his displeasure, and he could swear that certain things were made on purpose, and Vettel didn't help one bit.  
First, Vettel decided to play with the scarf ... _from where the boy get that absurd idea of trying to hold Raikkonen with the scar_ f? ... then to help Vettel invited Raikkonen to the party after the GP.

Marko was not a fan of these parties, but he felt compelled to go on this one.  
There he could see Raikkonen drinking while talking to a mechanic.

_ Raikkonen ... you here too ... what a surprise!

_ Seb invited me and I thought it's a great opportunity congratulate him

_ Don't you find it strange that other drivers only send messages and only you came here?

_ No

_ Really? I thought you had other things to worry about, I've been knowing that the things at Lotus aren't good.

_ Hey Marko, I was invited, and my absence here would certainly be noticed. And about the Lotus problems, they are my problems and not Seb's neither yours, and today is his day ... so why don't you instead of bothering me, be happy for him?

And with that Raikkonen leave towards Vettel direction, just to hug him and  
serve him more beer.

Marko didn't stayed to the end of the party, so only later he knew that Raikkonen had returned to Germany with Vettel. And he knew it from the worst way possible, the news, apparently when they were waiting for Vettel to arrive at the airport, they saw Raikkonen ...  
And there came to gossip, this isn't why he put so much effort in Vettel's  
development ... now he got to hear others say bad things about his driver and see the small smiles in everyone's face ... except two people ... Huovinen and Horner.

Huovinen still with the same expression as always, Marko really believed that the trainner didn't care about that as long was he received his money by the end of the month and Horner always seemed to know something, and it bothered Marko because if he was in Horner's position he would remove Raikkonen from Vettel's life.

.

.

.

Maybe in the course of those 6 years, Marko had lost some inhibitions, or  
he maybe he was feeling confident ... it doesn't matter ... what he sees in  
that press conference from thursday was what matters ... that press where  
one of the reporters have asked about who knows Raikkonen better, and Vettel couldn't hold his smile, and his arrogant look, the press was nuts  
... and Vettel didn't help, he rubbed in everyone face that he was special because Raikkonen paid attention to him, and he doesn't even make a effort to it to happen ...

This was letting Marko furious, so furious and frustated, Vettel was disobeying them, and the press was calling his program a failure, that  
he in RBR headquarters openly speak that he didn't want Raikkonen close  
to Vettel, that the finn was a bad influence ... and worse, Vettel was close by when he said that.

_ May I ask why?

_ Sebastian! I didn't know you were here.

_ This is evident. Now can you tell me why you think I would be better off without Kimi?

_ I just talked without thinking ... I mean no offense, but you know that  
I have a problem with him, I was just expressing my feelings.

_ This is great for you ... you can have as many problems as you want to  
have with him, just don't talk about it when I'm near by, and don't let it interfere with my relationship with him.

_ It was never my intention to intrude.

_ If you say so...

Marko admitted that he admired the man that Vettel had become, and also  
admitted that Raikkonen was fundamental in the development of this man, but this didn't diminished how much he disliked the finn ... because the reason he doesn't like Raikkonen wasn't the influence that he had over Vettel, but the fact that the one who should had this role was him ... now he saw that Raikkonen was untouchable in part because of Vettel and Vettel was untouchable in part because of Raikkonen ...

  
Marko could consider himself a man who had achieved everything, but the  
simple fact that he is not the only one responsible for what Vettel was today, seeing the fact that he had to share the spotlight with Newey, Horner and especially with Raikkonen made him doubt his own success.

Marko knew he must consider Vettel a past project, there is nothing else  
he can do, in his hands now lay the fate of Ricciardo and Kvyat, and so many other young drivers ... but not Vettel's.  
And he knew that if any of them don't succeed throughout the catefories,  
his entire program will fall ... he never would had thought that his search for perfection could be his flaw.

Vettel had grown up and created his own personality and it was a strong  
one, he was the owner of his career and Marko could do nothing else but  
watch the spectacle along with everyone else ... Marko watched as he climbed the podium, watched while he was carrying that finn with him all the time ... This was his worst frustation, he was like everyone else, only seeing, no getting any credits, and not having any control to where it all should go.


	17. Blackout

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I deleted the fic by mistake ... I'm so sad, all the kudos and comments are lost!  
> But thank God, they send a attached file with the entire fic....
> 
> As promised a spicy chapter ... however it's shorter. Nothing is perfect! Hope you all enjoy ... besides who never drank till fall?
> 
> I apologize for any grammar mistakes. XD  
> Comment!

Four times ! Four times !  
He had equaled Prost ... for Vettel there was nothing more rewarding than that, he won ... he devoted himself, made minimum mistakes, it was almost perfect .

And to celebrate the RedBull assembled a small party for them enjoy the night before leaving , Vettel was so excited, so happy, that he realized he could hardly find  
words to express his emotions to his parents and Hanna ... it was so much energy, that he was helping the team to dismantle the equipment and didn't feel tired and  
before he realized , everything was ready and they could celebrate.

As Vettel prepared himself he phoned Raikkonen to invite him to the party, he was already a guest , but thought it best to confirm his presence , Vettel found  
Raikkonen's voice strange , but it wasn't completly anormal since he was already aware of the confusion and swearing in the Lotus radio during the GP, the entire world  
hear ... so a party was the best remedy , a few beers and Raikkonen would be better, at least for one night , his friend would feel relaxed and happy .  
.  
.  
.  
Vettel hugged Christian, hugged Adrian, kissed Britta , took a slap in the back from Rocky, and squeezed Heikki so much that he could swear the he could break his  
trainner ribs, and it was at that moment that he saw Raikkonen, already having a beer on his hand and talking to a mechanic, they seemed entertained in that  
conversation, maybe a little too entertained ...

_" why is he talking to a mechanic and not with me ? "_

But Vettel cannot even begin to feel jealous, when Marko came in and entered in the conversation, and from what he saw, the little dialogue was not pleasant for either  
party ...

When Raikkonen came to him, Vettel could see that his friend was angry, and he knew him well enough to know that the best way to calm him down was offering him a drink.  
Of course Raikkonen accepted without thinking twice , Vettel never saw Raikkonen drink that much in so little time, he drink to the point his nose became red ... and one thing he had to admit , Raikkonen knew how to have fun and how entertain people ...  
Christian and Andrew are laughing so hard at something Raikkonen was telling that they're crying , even Heikki , always so focused, went along on a drinking game with  
Raikkonen and was pretty damn high.

It wasn't that he wasn't drunk, said far , Vettel was sure he was already mixing the languages , but he could see that others were more drunks than he ...

But every time someone came and filled his glass with some alcohol ...  
once ...  
twice ...  
three times ...  
four times ...

After a certain point , Vettel had only glimpses of what happened ...

... he remembered a card game , and for some reason he had a card stuck on his forehead ...

... he remembered a flaming drink with whiskey and tequila, and that he have burned his nose ...

... then he remembered Kimi murdering the grammar , and destroying some music while moaning rather than singing into the microphone ...

... Kimi and Heikki singing and doing a traditional Finnish dance ...

... Britta disheveled ...

... him singing " Hold on , I'm coming " ... to ... Kimi ! ...

And then, blackout ...  
And he was in his hotel room , and the worst thing was that he couldn't see, he sat up and saw that the pillow was plastered on his face and he had no trousers ...

_" Where's my pants ? "_

Vettel looked around the room and things looked good , nothing was missing , his biggest annoyance was his throbbing head and the feeling that if he tried to stand up  
he would fall hard on the ground. But Vettel was always considered himself a guy who likes challenges, and if his body challenged him to stand, he would stand, just to show he was better ...  
But he was soon as he stand, he take a step he tripped on something and fell to the ground, and worse, the "something" groaned, Vettel looked at the person on the ground ...

_"Hang on! I know these shorts!"_

All led him to believe that the person on the ground was Kimi, but it wasn't possible to be sure, because that person was apparently trying to take his shirt off when fallen asleep ...  
Then Vettel remembered ...

"He half-sitting, half lying and looking at Kimi, both are laughing, while Kimi tried to take his shirt off and got stuck and then started spinning around the room ... and why he was pantsless in this memory?"

Approaching the person on the ground, now he that was sure it was Kimi, he nudged him, but didn't received any answers, so he tried to finish what his friend apparently failed to and took off his shirt ... And it was then that Vettel sees Kimi's face, hair sprawled all over, red nose, a horrible whiff and a weird ... drool ... Vettel on best of intentions brought his hand to clear the drool on his friend's face, but when he touched it ... Vettel got a huge surprise...

_"Arrgh! Yuck ! "_

That wasn't drool, Vettel was sure of it ... he took Kimi's shirt and wiped his hand as he tried to wake his friend kicking him with his foot, seeing that it wasn't going to succeed and Vettel ensured that Kimi was still breathing, and went look for a shorts or pants ... before leaving the room he looked around again and threw a blanket over Kimi ... he headed toward the kitchen because right now all he needed was an aspirin....

And while he was taking his aspirin, Vettel found his pants thrown at the ground and he was attacked by a compromising memory ...

"Kimi was laughing like an idiot ... and for some reason Kimi kissed him, then stumbled over his own feet and fell on his ass ... the two looked at each and he approached, Kimi tried to get up but all he could do was laugh and fall to the ground again and again until after some effort he decided to help him, leaving him dropped to his knees and while those blue eyes looked at him in a way so happy, and when Kimi tried to use his hips to get up, he could feel himself getting hard"

"He got rid of his pants and began to masturbate while Kimi seemed to find it all very funny ... he rest his thumb on those lips ... he was already partly erect. Then he reached out Kimi's hair with one hand. His fingers sliding through Kimi's soft hair and grabbing the back of finn's head.  
He step foward and guided himself inside Kimi's waiting mouth. He let the tip rest inside just for a moment. Kimi's tongue eagerly worked on him...He couldn't believed that Kimi was doing it ... he couldn't believed that he was doing it ...  
He remembered himself expanding and hardening inside Kimi's mouth, pushing himself deeper.  
Kimi laughed probably without knowing that he enjoyed the vibration.  
Until he couldn't hold it anymore, and he took Kimi's head in both hands and began thrusting back and forth. Gently at first while Kimi did his best to maintain eye contact.  
He could see those beautiful icy blue eyes looking up at him at all the time."

"After some playing, he started to thrust deeper into Kimi's throat, and Kimi shut his eyes and gagged but didn't recoil. He could see that Kimi was challenging him, so he mercifully pulled out for just a second, just to see those eyes reopen. They are already watering, but they tell him without words that he could take more."

" He pushed back inside and continue fucking Kimi's mouth. He keep his strokes shallow, but occasionally probe deeper, eliciting more gagging and coughing. But Kimi  
keep look defiantly at him, daring him to do worse, e even tried to laugh, so he without warning forced Kimi's head all the way down, as far as it can go, and hold the finn's there.  
He could feel himself pressing against the back of Kimi's throat. The finn's nose and forehead are squeezed tightly against his body.  
The sensation was amazing, he never did that to anyone, and when Kimi's body started to struggle, the noises and moviments turn him on, Kimi was trying to get away, but he didn't let, he used all of his strength to hold Kimi head in place. He could see panic in those blue eyes as Kimi looked up at him, unable to breathe.

"Just relax," He assured his friend.

He just wanted to test Kimi's limits, but he would never do harm to his friend. He held Kimi just a little bit longer than what he thought was possible, and then he finally let go.

Kimi fell back with a loud gasp and coughed uncontrollably for a moment, saliva was running down his chin, tears streaming down his face.

But before Kimi could even catch his breath, he put the finn back into position.  
He felt Kimi's hands pushing his hips away while turning his head to the opposite side ... but he needed to feel more.

"Just a little more, it will be quick"

Maybe Kimi said "no", maybe he didn't ... He didn't fully remembers ... what he remembered was he taking a firmer grip on Kimi's head and thrust back inside his mouth.  
And he showed no mercy, thrusting harder and harder, deeper and deeper, fucking Kimi's throat with wild abandon. The more Kimi's gags and squirms, the rougher he got.  
He could see Kimi's arms flailing at his sides, his hands clinched in tight little fists, and then Kimi started to beat his tights e tried to push himself away.

"Just take it!" He angrily told Kimi.

And bizarrely Kimi quickly put his hands beside him and obeyed .  
So he impaled Kimi 's throat on his dick , and he could felt the finn's choking ... He entered fully, it was just impossible to enter deeper, Kimi still choking but his gulping movements deram him even more pleasure, so much pleasure that he came ... and Kimi fucking swallowed his cum, some of it was spilling out of the corner of his mouth. "

" He never had an orgasm like that , so strong that he didn't have any strength left on his legs, he fell down ... and on the ground he saw Kimi coughing incessantly in front of him ... after a while he went to Kimi to see if he was fine, and was greeted with a hug and a promise of something more ... they rose and went staggering to the bedroom ... he sat on the bed and Kimi tried to take his shirt off , but got tangled up, and both began to laugh at the situation ... and at some point Kimi fell on the ground and all that  
he heard was a muffled " I'm fine ! " and then nothing ... "

Vettel thought he was gonna die choking on a glass of water

_" Holy shit , what have we done ! ? "_

And then a nice pat on the back bring him back to reality.  
Raikkonen was standing beside, wrapped in a blanket.

\- You have more aspirin?

\- Huh?

\- Aspirin you know? That thing that we take when we have a headache?

\- Of course! Just a moment.

Vettel didn't know what to do, didn't know what to say, so when he delivered the glass of water and the aspirin for Raikkonen he sat down and stared at nothing.

\- From the lost look on your face, I deduce that you remember what happened yesterday.

\- Do you remember?

\- It's hard to forget something like choking on another guy dick.

\- Eerrhhh ... I'm sorry.

\- Please, stop with this "sorry" thing okay. It wont change what happenned, and it certainly don't make me fell good with myself.

\- Sor ...

Raikkonen's look made Vettel stop .

\- Look every time we do something ... different ... you came with this "sorry" thing, I'm so disgusting that you regret what you did?

\- Nooooo ... its just that I lost control ... and I fear that I will hurt you.

\- I'm big guy, you wont hur't me.

\- That's not what I remember ... you aren't enjoying yourself ...

Raikkonen then threw his glass of water on Vettel , who looked amazed .

\- You talk too much .

Raikkonen got up and said he would take a shower and that when he return he wanted to find the happy Vettel that he knows and loves .  
But Vettel didn't know what to do, he was in conflict, what they did, even if drunk, is not something that friends do ... is not something he does, he would never do that to Hanna , it was wrong , violent ... it wasn't love it was abuse ...  
But then why he did it with Raikkonen?

That was his biggest dilemma .

Vettel wasn't a man to ignore his problems, he would deal with that again ... but not now ... now he had to think about his immediate future , first thing he would do was get something to Raikkonen.  
So he called for the room service, asking for a breakfest, a healthy one for him, and a caloric one for Raikkonen ... it was the least he could do for someone who swallowed his cum ...

_"Yuck ! "_

When Raikkonen left the bathroom, Vettel brought the breakfest for the two .

\- I liked it, breakfest in the bedroom! I think I'm in love!

\- Stop messing with my head, Kimi!

\- I will stop when you start eating real food and not these tasteless things.

\- Blame Heikki, he made my diet.

\- ... But now you're with me, and with me, you will eat real food .

\- Ah ...

And Raikkonen put a fork full of fries inside Vettel's mouth .

\- Eat more ... talk less!

When they finished , Vettel realized that what happened didn't change their relationship, and apparently it had done well for their mood, especially Raikkonen's ... so there would be no greater gift he could give Raikkonen more than a day of peace and joy. And he knew how to get it .

\- Hey Kimi! Do you want to take a ride with me to Germany ?  
\- I don't see why not .


	18. Hanna

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is special ... This one belongs to Hanna! XD  
> I like her, even though we barely see her in the paddock.
> 
> And excuse for any mistakes, I was having problems with the HE and HIM ...

Four times Formula 1 world champion, who would have thought he would achieved it, when they first met in high school.  
Hanna considered herself a lucky woman, she is smart, successful and her boyfriend is none other than the best driver in the world. She had everything ... or almost everything.

She never doubted of Vettel's love for her, but his love was not exclusive hers, her boyfriend heart was big, and she had to compete with all the other things that he loved.

Hanna always knew that for Sebastian family was above all the things, then come she, the motorsport and HIM.

She shared the same opnion was Sebastian regarding the family part, she also was very close to her parents and grandparents and uncles, she understood his side, because to him it's even more important since he spent so much time away from his family.

There is also the motorsport, who was like a second woman, since she know Seb, the cars and the races were there, they were there even before she, it was his life, his sense of being and one of reasons to live, and she know that he loved her because she understood how much it all means to him.  
He could live without a lot of stuff, you just have to gave him something with wheels and he would overcome any barriers, be it physical or emotional barriers, and she loved him in part because of that.

And then there is HIM ...  
HE came into their lifes when Sebastian got a Formula 1 seat, at first HE was just a name, but soon became a constant, to the point of being an integral part of their lifes.

Hanna didn't want to get mad because it was clear to her that HE was good to her boyfriend, but she couldn't bear the idea that she had to share Sebastian's love not only with the family, cars, races, but with HIM as well... she could understand all the other things, she cand accepted them ... but HE... no...she couldn't understand, she couldn't accept HIM.

HE came later, after all these things, after HER, and HE made no effort to gain anything, HE won without fighting, and in a short period of time HE had the admiration, affection and protection from her boyfriend.

There were few times they met in person, and she was grateful that HE had the decency to try to leave when HE noticed that HE was disturbing her and her boyfriend, but to see Sebastian ask where HE was a few minutes later hurt more than if HE had continued there ... because even away, HE, still a constant presence.

Sometimes Hanna came to think that she was getting paranoid, because in her head HE was already part of her boyfriend, it was like HE was there having coffee with them, or watching TV with them ... and the worst is that she knew Sebastian wasn't doing it on purpose, he actually didn't even notice it.

Sometimes she could see the understaning in Christian's and Heikki's eyes, but she also could see pity in their eyes, she couldn't stand it, they felt sorry for her because she was fighting an invisible enemy, HE was a enemy that didn't even know that was a enemy, and even then she was losing.

But at least she knows that part of Sebastian heart belongs to her, and she will stay strong, because she know that in the moment she doubted herself, HE would take her part to himself and then she probably wont get it back.

It was clear that she was glad that Seb was returning home after winning the title, and they would have two days just for them ... but the joy is something that lasts little, she learned from the press that HE was with Sebastian ... HE was there ... again.

She wondered why, if HE at least had done it on purpose, but she knew he wouldn't do it with intent to affect her and it made her even more angry.

If HE hasn't even wanted to cause so many emotions, imagine what HE would do if HE actually try something.  
And the worst is that she feared that in the end, the lack of action would cause a reaction to Sebastian, but not a reaction of abandonment, far from it, she firmly believes that if HE stayed motionless, Sebastian would attack, because she always know that her boyfriend was a man who loved to win, to have, and it was evident that Sebastian wanted HE to himself.

She sometimes wondered...

"Did Sebastian kissed HIM?"  
"Had they ever had sex?"  
"Was there something, or nothing never happened?"  
"If I ask Seb, could I end up giving an idea?"

She had to forget about it, her champion was back, because while HE was in almost every photo that she saw, it was she that Sebastian wanted now.  
Hanna took a deep breath and got ready to receive her boyfriend, she kept all the insecurities and frustrations to herself, put on her best smile and received him with hugs and kisses.

Her Sebastian was always so sweet to her, always attentive, calm, he brought flowers, he brought victories, stories, she felt herself appreciated ...   
But she also felt disturbed when she looked at Seb's eyes when she or someone else mentioned HIS name ...

"Is Sebastian like that to HIM too? Loving, caring, careful?"

She had her doubts, as these eyes so full of affection, sometimes showed a dark side which she didn't like it one bit.  
Since they met, they both have changed , Sebastian no longer was the skinny and naive kid that he believed the world was fair and that only talent was enough ... no, her boyfriend was a changed man , hardened , arrogant and sometimes cruel to others ... not with her ... never with her ... but with others he could be ruthless in his ambition , and she knew that HE was at least partly responsible for the change in her sweet Seb ... HE encouraged every caracteristicas that she wanted to never existed in her Seb , HE took the worse side of Seb's personality and make it bigger and more present...

Now her Seb was a politician, good with the words ... thanks RedBull , emotionally unshaken ... thanks to himself, but petty and ruthless ... thanks to HIM ...   
Every time that Seb's ego took control and something happened , everyone criticized him, called him attention , told him to rethink his actions ... but it was in vain ... because she knew that HE, when alone with Seb , praised every attitude, saying to do it again, that her Seb was right when he crushed the competition ...   
HE was turning the sweet boy she met ... in a ruthless competidor ...

But HE was also responsible for changing her ... today she considered herself better than any of those trophy girlfriends that parade in the paddock, she was strong and determined ... she had to be because it wasn't with super models she had to share attention , but with HIM.

Hanna knew that she never had Sebastian's complete and utter love ...   
She always knew that Seb's heart was divided ...  
But she knew there was a small piece that belong to her, and she would fight with all of her strength to make it last forever.

So, yes she could say that despite everything she was still grateful to HIM have appeared in their lifes, because HE made her a better woman, one able to face HIM.

 

 

 

 


	19. Vergne

Vergne was upset, that was the truth, he did his best and in his opinion he was better than his teammate...  
The problem was his car, how often his car has broken ...  
How often the bad luck took away his chances ...  
and then who wins the RBR seat is Ricciardo!

Vergne was not silly or naive, he knew Ricciardo's move to RBR involved many things, not just performance ...  
and he knew that permanence in the team wasn't only based in his performance as well ...

He always wondered whether it was a good or a bad thing he ability to understant the politics of what happens around him, sometimes it have left him more nervous and feeling more pressure than if he were ignorant to the facts ...  
But because of it, he knows that next year is his last, he has to do something really different if he wants to stay in F1 ...  
No pressure at all ...  
Merde!

He was jealous of Ricciardo, he wont deny it, he didn't think it was fair, he wasn't gonna to accept it.   
Never !  
Then everyone could be sure that after Ricciardo was announced, no matter how good person he was, Vergne vibrated in every failure, every silly mistake .

And there they are , Abu Dhabi , so close to end of the year , so close to his teammate debut on RBR and race alongside Vettel...   
That was what Marko wanted , what he had always sought . ..  
That he or Ricciardo become a new Vettel ...  
But Vergne knew he was no Vettel , and he also knew that neither was Ricciardo .

Vettel would destroy Ricciardo , for him it was certain ... he doesn't really knows the RedBull's golden boy, far from it, but it is generally acknowledged that Vettel is extremely competitive , and that his first opponent was always teammate.

Vergne is no fool , Vettel was friendly, smiling , polite, but Vergne could see beyond, there was something very obscure , an aggressiveness , arrogance and superiority that scared almost everyone.  
In his opinion , there were few people, besides his family, with which Vettel was really friendly and sincere, and they're Adrian , Horner , Huovinen and Raikkonen .

Anyone could see, Vettel had a huge respect for Adrian, the same could be said about the other three, but he saw a greater affection when Horner and Huovinen were involved...  
and Raikkonen ...  
Raikkonen was a case apart, it was weird, the Finnish didn't help because he barely spoke to others, so to Vergne the fact that Raikkonen not only talk but also smile to Vettel, already said a lot. And well ... wherever Raikkonen was, you could be sure that Vettel was close by ...

Relationships aside, Ricciardo will go deep into a den of snakes and this den was already taken, it belongs to Vettel, and if at some point, however brief it may be, Ricciardo threaten Vettel's domain, there won't be enough huge smiles or nice attitude to save him ...  
Yeah... Vergne was envious of the opportunity offered to Ricciardo ...  
But at any moment he envied what Ricciardo will face ...

.

.

.

And there they were ... soon he would have one more chance to show he was better than Ricciardo, he was happy ... but every time some stupid reporter had to reminded him that he had been deprecated in the choice of RBR seat ...  
There goes his beautiful day...  
He was furious ...  
He was deprecated?  
Ricciardo was deprecated ...  
Everyone knows it, Horner wanted Raikkonen, Matezschiz wanted Raikkonen, Vettel wanted Raikkonen ...

\- You okay?

\- Hanh?!

Speaking of the devil ... Raikkonen was there ... talking with ... him?

\- Yeeess ... I think...

\- Yes or you think?

\- I think

Vergne would never understand how someone becomes an international superstar driver and continues to speak english as bad as Raikkonen ...  
But that was the least of the strange things ... the main question was: Raikkonen was talking to him ...  
Why he?  
If he was talking with Hamilton, or Bottas, or Van de Garde, that was common... normal...  
But he?  
There's something wrong with that ...  
Where was Vettel?  
Why he wasn't talking to Vettel?

\- Is there something on my face?

\- Hanh?

\- You are standing there looking at my face ... there is something on it?

\- Hanh ... no!

\- You're always this slow?

\- NO!

\- You're monosyllabic then?

\- No!

\- So why do you can only say "no" ?

\- Hããnn ...

\- I get it.

Vergne wanted to kill himself, he couldn't even form a sentence. His head was still trying to assimilate the fact that Kimi fucking Raikkonen was talking to him!  
And he was playing retarded ...  
Wait?  
Did he said that he understood?  
Apparently they had had a dialogue!   
Shocking!  
Cool!

But he could see that Raikkonen was still at his side, so he probably was expecting a little more dialogue ... but what could he talk about?  
Lotus?  
Not a good idea ...  
About the threat of not race?  
Better not ...  
About the lack of payment?  
Definitely no ...

Vergne then decided to be as normal as possible, and maybe then he could learn a new language, the raikkonen's language ...

\- Vettel?

\- No ...

\- You?

\- Yeah ... but he knows.

\- Vettel?

\- Yeah ...

\- That's good.

\- I think so.

\- You think?

\- Yeah ...

\- And the race?

\- The car okay, more like the way I like it.

\- Not mine, Kimi, not mine ... can I call you Kimi?

\- It's my name.

\- No offense ... but why are you talking to me?

\- I don't know ... you were in front of me, so...

\- Make sense.

\- I know

And they were in good chat throughout the entire and monotonous drivers parade ...  
but incredible as it seemed, Vergne liked the conversation, for more odd that it was, even if it seemed incomplete, it was objectively and he understand it just fine ...  
He could already put on your resume ... _"I talk and understand Raikkonen"_ ...

\- It was nice talking to you

\- Thank you!

\- And Jean ... Good race!

\- Same to you!

And Vergne was in shock, Raikkonen knew his name!  
How he wanted Ricciardo there to see that Raikkonen was talking to him ...  
Without thinking he started to look for Ricciardo

\- The other guy from STR is there.

\- Thank you.

 _" The other guy from STR "_ ... Vergne 's head blew up ,he never felt so good about something so silly .

And while Vergne was going towards the " other guy from STR " he saw Vettel briefly approaching Raikkonen .  
Vettel always smiling , and the most interesting was to see that Raikkonen had a full smile, and not that half smile he always have ...  
He couldn't hear the conversation , but he could see the gestures , subtle but present , and if their brief conversation taught him anything, it's that the answer lies with Raikkonen's small gestures .  
And to see a hand on the shoulder that remained there for a little longer, was very significant.  
Even more to him that he had seen other people to touching Raikkonen ... he remembered like yesterday when he saw Hamilton embrace Raikkonen, and the finn seemed to want to run away ...  
But not with Vettel , the two never actually hugged each other, but they're always in each other's personal space , and there were the half hugs, the touches on the shoulder, the holding his arm action , stuff like that , and sometimes it was Raikkonen who took initiative, it said a lot about those two .  
And of course he didn't miss the brief moment of hands touching , Vettel bringing Raikkonen's hand towards him, holding it a little to long, and then releasing it like if he didn't want too ... unfortunately he only saw Raikkonen's face and clearly those damn sunglasses wouldn't let him see the finn's eyes ...

Vergne looked around, if he had seen that, then someone else had certainly seen it too.  
He saw Hamilton, but his reaction was the same was it never happened,aparentimente it was nothing new to him ...  
Interesting ...  
He also saw Hulkenberg and Van de Garde ...  
The german was a shrewd guy but also unobtrusive, and well, Van de Garde couldn't care less and maybe that was why Raikkonen talked with him ...

Another mystery of the paddock, and he would have another year to watch those two ... it was more fun than Discovery Channel ... and surely more fun than most press conferences ...

Vergne saw the two disappear, probably to prepare for the racing, something he also had to do.

The most important thing was that he had to tell his mother that Kimi Raikkonen talked to him!  
He just had to do better than Ricciardo and the day would be complete, speaking it where's _"the other guy from STR?"_

 

 

 


	20. Heikki - part 2

  
Heikki was always alert.  
ALWAYS.  
And it was because of it that he can see the subtle change in the behavior of the two drivers...  
Something had happened there, and there was nothing in the world that would tell him otherwise.

But the highlights came late in the Abu Dhabi GP. Sebastian was too happy, so happy that he did the driver run twice as much as the programed, just to see how far would that happiness goes ... in the end he gave up because Sebastian though fatigued, still with a big smile on his face.

\- You are more happier than normal.

\- Thanks ... I think.

\- Seriously ... is everything okay? At this time of the day you would already be cursing my grandchildren because of your workout.

\- It's okay.

Heikki knew Sebastian very well, the boy could take a secret to the grave, but if he feel he have the right to be bragging, he would spill everything he was proud about ... so all that Heikki had to do is pretend that everything felt mundane and normal, and Sebastian would quickly speak what he wanted.

\- Okay

\- ...

\- ...

\- ...

\- I had a great weekend!

_"And there we go ..."_

\- Really?

\- Yes, I enjoyed myself ... and explored new possibilities.

\- This is good.

\- Can I ask you something very personal?

\- Errhhmm

\- Pleaseee!

\- Look I don't think it's a good idea

\- If you don't want to answer that's fine.

\- ...

\- So ...

\- Ok...You can ask me, Sebastian.

\- It is possible to have pleasure using your hand?

\- What!?

\- I say it is possible to bring pleasure to someone using a hand? I mean ....the entire hand ...

Sebastian's face, then his hand, and the fact that he was using his other hand to circle around the first, while trying to explain everything ... was a scene that Heikki could die without seeing ...

\- Aaahhmmm physiologically ... yes.

\- Physio what?

\- Physiologically, expand or stretch certain muscles or body parts can become pleasurable.

\- Ah...

Heikki didn't like the look on Sebastian's face, he kind of ... felt guilty ...

_"Poor Hanna."_

\- Cool! I'll tell Kimi.

\- How come?

\- Hãn? I didn't said a thing.

_"Kimi? Kimi! ... Poor Hanna my ass ... oh by Odin's bear! No, no, nonono ... don't think about it, Heikki, just don't ... oh shit ... I'm gonna to kill you Seb! "_

\- You spoke Kimi!

\- No I didn't.

\- Yes you did.

\- Didn't.

\- Did!

\- Ok ok, what I said or didn't say, it's not what matters ... what matters is ... How do you know about it?

\- Biology. It is my job to understand the human body.

\- Even the pleasure points?! Ah I knew you have a dirty and kink mind Heikki!

\- It's you who asked ... And know painfull points of a body as well ... and if you keep joking about it I will show you where they are!

\- Wow ... You know how to turn me on.

\- Sebastian ... I'm warning you...

\- Throw me on the wall and call me yours! Hahahaha

\- Less talk, you just got yourself a few more laps to run.

That was the last bizarre conversation he had with Sebastian on that day, but wasn't the last time he heard the name "Räikkönen", apparently the finn was having some serious problems with Lotus ...  
And his delayed arrival at the racetrack caused even more commotion than usual.

In Heikki's eyes the press behaved like a pack of hyenas, and whatever it is that Raikkonen has to say, it was the largest carrion of the weekend.

A few hours later, Heikki discovered, along with the entire world that Raikkonen had throwed shit on the fan and now it was falling everywhere, landing in several heads, and causing doubt about his current team's future ...  
It was amazing how three minutes could destroy something that took 3 years to be complete.

But it wasn't his problem, not yet, knowing Sebastian, soon he would be involved, not directly, but he always there, stuck with Raikkonen, and would soon know something that others don't.

But to his surprise, the two barely spoke, Raikkonen arrived late and left early, Sebastian in turn was focused on his commitments and in the fun of having already achieved the title.  
Even in the driver's parade, a common environment of the two, they were separated, it was strange for Heikki, an anomalous behavior ... something had happened.

What Heikki didn't knew is that he would have his answer on Sunday.

After the end of the party, this time a real party ... he was ready to pack up and leave when he remembered that he had to prepare a new exercise program and a new diet to Sebastian ...  
To that he just needed to get some information about what Sebastian was eating that week, and ... well he didn't think Sebastian would be there, much less Raikkonen ...

_"Wasn't he left the country yet?"_

There was the two of them, all smiles and gestures ... It didn't seemed something to worry about, it was nothing that everyone hasn't seen before ...  
It was what Heikki thought until he saw Sebastian not only holding Raikkonen's hand, but also stroking it.

Heikki felt like he was invading their personal moment ...  
But he needed to know how far it goes, in what those two were getting into, what would be the consequences, he needed to know, so he can act in case something happened ...  
If anyone knows and he doesn't, he will be unprepared and will not be able to do anything to protect Sebastian, now if he knows what it really is, it will never caught him by surprise, then, he will be focused on what he should do to prevent further damage .

The two seemed really distracted, they didn't even noticed he was there, and as much as he wanted to brag about his stealth, the fact that even Raikkonen haven't noticed him, bothered him.

_"They were being careless ..."_

Heikki just thought of two things ...  
One ... stay quiet in his corner and just observe ...  
Two ... show himself and frighten the hell of those two ...

_"Maybe so they learn to be more careful"_

But before Heikki decided what to do, he saw something that though he suspect, didn't think it was true, much less that would see it with his own eyes...  
...  
Raikkonen seemed to have understood that the conversation was ended and was going away, when Sebastian, who hadn't dropped Raikkonen's hand yet, pulled him back and touched his face ...

Heikki wanted to know what they were talking about, he really wanted ...

He could see Raikkonen smiling, and he knew that Sebastian was also smiling, but what was surprising was to see Sebastian decrease the distance between them and kiss Raikkonen.

Even more bizarre was to see that it was a gentle kiss, almost a caress ...  
Heikki couldn't see Sebastian as a man of gentle kisses...  
Yes, he loved a hug, a shoulder to vent, but Sebastian know how to impose himself and demand what he wanted, sometimes even too much ...  
But it was different, that kind of kiss should belong to only one person, and her name wasn't Raikkonen, was Hanna.

Heikki didn't want to get angry with Sebastian, he really didn't want to, he didn't think he had the right to say what was right or wrong to a man like Sebastian, but he was being careless, and Raikkonen is not exempt from the guilt, the oldest never did anything to prevent them from arrive at this point, he never said "no", "this is wrong" ...  
Raikkonen had enough influence on Sebastian to end that dangerous joke.

Heikki had seen the iteration of both of them ...  
Raikkonen always encouraging, always saying that Sebastian was right , to Heikki, Raikkonen could only want to see the circus in fire.

And if either of them will take a sensible action, he will.

\- How beautiful!

What bothered him most was to see that when amazement passed, their natural reaction was to Sebastian putting himself in front of Raikkonen ...

_"Why Sebastian? He can defend himself."_

But he could also see that despite Sebastian being physically in front, it was Raikkonen's presence the true threatening one...  
It was clear to Heikki, that for Raikkonen, it was like Sebastian wasn't there, what the finn really cared about was him, he had seen something he shouldn't, he was a threat, and Heikki could see in Raikkonen's eyes that if he even think about using it against them, the finn's defense would be worse than any attack ...

\- Heikki, what are you doing here?

\- I ask the same, Sebastian! What are YOU doing here?

_"Look into Raikkonen's eyes, don't look away, if I lower my guard, he will attack."_

\- I asked you first.

\- And I believe that those who really have something to explain here is you two.

\- I. .. we ... it's not ... LOOK AT ME!

\- Seb ...

_"Shit ... I got distracted!"_

He could see that Raikkonen still behind Sebastian, placing his hand on the younger's shoulder, but staring at him.

\- Stay calm Seb, he will not do anything.

\- Huh?

  
Heikki approached, using his height and his physical size as a way to impose ... but he knew that the bastard was behind Sebastian on purpose, so even if he imposed himself, every threat would seems to be aimed at Sebastian and not Raikkonen, and it would make Sebastian choose Raikkonen and stay away from him ...  
But he still had to do it ...  
Who Raikkonen thinks he is...

\- How can you be so sure?

\- You would be a fool if you do.

\- You are being irresponsible, I understand Sebastian to have this attitude, but not you, you're the oldest, I thought you would have a better judgment.

\- So you think Seb is unable to make his own decisions? Do you really think I determine how it will be?

_"Step back, step back, he wants to make you the enemy"_

\- Don't twist my words.

\- I'm not doing anything but say what I think you're implying.

He could see Sebastian standing between the two, he looked confused, frightened at being caught ... he had to remedy the situation.

\- I won't ever tell anybody, Sebastian, but you need to be more careful, today it was me who saw, but what if it was someone else, imagine what it would be if I were a reporter?

\- We verified, we make sure that were alone, Huovinen ...

\- Well, then both of you did a lousy job, Raikkonen ...

\- You've got what you wanted, gave us a fright, gave us a little lecture, now would be great time for you to go.

\- It's not how it works! I will not let you damage Sebastian's image!

\- ENOUGH!

That caused a reaction he didn't expect ...  
When Sebastian finally decided to join the conversation, Raikkonen stopped and started to look like that guy from the interviews, never looking at a fixed point, seeming to want leave that place.

\- I understand your concern Heikki, I really do, but Kimi isn't guilty of anything, I started all this, I understand the risks, and I'm willing to take them ... you thinking I'm an innocent victim in all this only offends me.

\- That wasn't my intention.

\- I know it wasn't ... but I'm not so easily manipulated.

\- Why didn't you tell me?

\- Because this is something new even for us. I ... We .. don't quite know what it is.

\- I only ask you to be more careful, I don't want you to get hurt, Sebastian.

And there when he saw a glimpse of the young and sensitive Sebastian ...  
Heikki admired the competitive and ambitious man who is this older and mature Sebastian, but it was to the sensitive, concerned and dedicated boy that he saw himself attached to...

\- Don't worry yourself about it, Heikki. I got Kimi with me, he won't let anything happens.

\- Okay I will trust your judgement, but I will stay close by as a precaução

\- Thanks! Good night Heikki...

\- Good night Seb.

While Sebastian left the place in hurry, dragging Raikkonen by the hand with him...  
But Heikki could see Raikkonen looking at him, his eyes telling him to not interfere, but also thanking him for showing worry over Sebastian...

He would warn Horner, he saw it was his obligation, but he also would respect Sebastian desire to let him deal with this, because in that moment the guy who was asking for understanding from his part, is the young man full of dreams, which he would do everything possible to protect ... Even if it meant protecting Raikkonen too.


	21. One step forward

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A small chapter for you guys ... while I prepare something hot and special for the next one ...   
> And well, finally the Brazillian Grand Prix arrived! \ 0 /  
> I was at Interlagos today and will be there tomorrow too ...  
> Just so you know, the week before the GP, was one of the most hot and dry from the last decade , but the tradition is to be raining in Sao Paulo during the GP, so Santo Antonio has brought the rain! \ 0 /  
> Hope you enjoy the chapter ... give me kudos and comment!
> 
> I will let the link with the pictures of the GP later ... XD

After their departure from Germany neither of them had the time to speak to each other.

So many things were happening, Sebastian. for example, have Hanna always so happy and glad because he was finally home, he even asked if she wanted to join him for the Abu Dhabi GP, but she declined ...   
again ...   
He knows that she loves him, but he is a human being too, he had feelings...  
All the drivers brought theirs girlfriends, but he didn't bring his because she didn't want to come ... he respected her wishes but it would be nice if she appeared at least in the European's GP's.  
Then in the week prior the GP, he had the flight, the press, the trainning, the sponsors ... and no life ...

And of course, he had Heikki trying to kill him ... he love the guy, but sometimes ... sometimes he have to hold the desire to make Heikki suffer for every hour he had to look but don't eat, run not walk, and to do push up ... damn finn!  
Talking about finns he only had remembered Kimi when in the press conference they talk about him, saying he was missing ...

Yeah, he too was shocked by it ...

The press didn't know, and everyone looked at him ... but he was also surprised. He didn't know the reasons why Kimi isn't there ... or so he thought...  
When they meet, only briefly, he understood everything, his friend delayed arrive was a payback for the money problem, and some other problems, and the health problems ... sometimes Sebastian think that life itself was trying to bury Kimi before he even reach the forties ...  
But he won't let life, God or Devil tomem his Kimi away from him.

Sebastian did everything he could to spend more time with Kimi, but he also have a race to win, so he thought that they can talk later, they always do that anyway.  
But while racing Rocky had informed him that Kimi was out and was already leaving the place ... Sebastian was sad, but he didn't have time for that now ... he won like he knew Kimi would want him to, and even make a little tribute to him, saying his so famous quote.

Then came the party, and he kind of forgot himself in the happiness, he was feeling so good, even Mark was being nice to him, and Heikki, yeah ...   
Heikki ...   
He lost the count of how many times he hugged that guy, and today was no different, Kimi wasn't there, his girlfriend wasn't there, and needed some kind of human contact, and Heikki make him feel different than when he was with Hanna or Kimi, Heikki was tall and strong, he could be the young boy when with him ... Heikki became a shoulder to cry on, a hug to find confort on, he can consider Heikki a friend ... and right now ... Kimi has left him alone, without saying a word ... so he needed Heikki ...  
Some good amount of drinks and food, and Christian prideful words, he felt his cellphone vibrating ... and when he answer it was Kimi.

\- Enjoying your glory?

\- Where are you?

\- Right here.

\- No you aren't.

\- I couldn't leave, there is no flight ... I have to wait, so I came back.

\- You came back because there's no flight, but not because of me?

\- Yes.

\- I hate you.

\- I know ... but ... since I'm here, we can see each other.

And it was done, after the party Sebastian meet Kimi, they certified that the place was empty, and decided to talk about ... things and stuff...

\- This Quantum deal, it's all smoke and glasses ...

\- Are you sure?

\- Yeah, Steve took a better look at them, it's a dangerous deal, it all can be façade to some scam ... no good ...

\- What are you options?

\- I'm already leaving, my money is Lopez problem, and this I can solve in a court.

\- Okay ... let stop talking about problems ... how about a dinner?

\- I would like, but you just got out a party ...

\- A special dinner, served in bed.

\- Hahahaha ... Seb ... you're gonna to be my death.

\- maybe, but it would be worthy death don't you think?

\- I won't answer it

\- Come on ... don't leave me in suspence ...

\- I think we should meet later ... in your room ... to have that dinner.

Sebastian was in extacsy ... Kimi had accepted ... and they're sober ... now it's the time to make it worth, to make it right ... so he brought Kimi close and touched his face.

\- Kimi, I ... I know you know ... but the thing is ... I would like us to be ...

\- Yes.

\- Hum?

\- I'm hungry and you're slow, so here is my answer.

\- Really? You want it too?

\- Didn't I just say yes?

And Sebastian brought Kimi close to him and kissed him, but this time it was a true kiss, he didn't want to take that from Kimi, he wanted to give it to him, no more aggression, no more egoism, there is two people here, and the two have to be happy...  
But then maybe he should say three people, because Heikki had to appear...

Did he say he liked that guy? Forget it, he hates him ...

Heikki had to show his concern, had to face Kimi...and say that they're wrong ...  
Wrong about what?

They didn't do nothing ... yet ...  
And they aren't a item ... yet ...  
So what the fuck did they do wrong???!

He didn't have time for it, so he finished that bullshit and dragged his Kimi way from there, they have better things to worry about.

But he got a little dissapointed when they arrived his room...

\- So where were we?

\- Dinner first, then we will see.

\- What?

\- Heikki is right you know, we have to really think about it, is this what we really want?

\- That's what I want.

\- See, this is what I'm talking about.

\- No, I don't see anything, you promised something and now you're backing off.

\- I didn't promised you anything, and when did "we" become "you" ?

\- Oh...

\- But what really worry me is that we didn't notice him ... just like we didn't notice Lewis.

\- Heikki is a ninja, it's okay if we didn't see him ... and Lewis ... well ... forget it ... you're right.

\- I know.

And Sebastian had to throw a pillow at Kimi, what arrogance!  
He called asking for a dinner, and they have theirs dinner, so Kimi can be happy and stop complain that he was hungry like a wolf, that his day were terrible and he deserves some food, that you don't deny food even for a criminal ... blablabla ...  
He even waited for the princess to finish watching some special about hockey in the tv ...

\- So?

\- So ... I wanna sleep.

\- What?

\- I'm tired.

\- But ... but...

\- Good night.

No, Sebastian won't accept it, Kimi had agreed that them should become something more didn't he?  
But eat his food, make him paid his expenses, use his bathroom, sleep under his roof isn't what he understand as another step in theirs relationship ...   
So he grabbed Kimi's shoulder and kissed him, this time for real, he was gonna to show Kimi what he wanted.

Kimi grabbed his face, pushing him away, and smiled at him. Sitting on the bed, Kimi took away his shirt.

\- Don't you mind about them?

\- Them?

\- The scars...

\- No.

But the truth was that he wasn't really looking at them, and Kimi appeared to have noticed this, holding his hand and bringing it to his chest, his hip, then bringing it to his back, looking right into his eyes ...

\- You sure this is what you want?

\- Yes.

Sebastian wanted Kimi, he wanted more than his friendship ... he wanted his friendship and his love and his body ...   
he wanted everything ...   
but he didn't have the courage to look at Kimi's scars...  
They aren't ugly, but they're many, not only on his back, but in his entire torso.  
But thank God Kimi understand him, kissing him, distracting him from his scars.

And Sebastian couldn't believed that Kimi was doing it, he was the one kissing him.  
Kimi kissed his mouth, and then move to his neck, while slowly taking his shirt off, when he noticed, his was already without it, and Kimi continued kissing mouth, his chest, and then his nipples, and Sebastian felt like he was going to explode, he was so hard, and see Kimi workship his body was so hot.

When he felt Kimi's hand on his crotch while looking at him with his face blushing, he had enough, he need to release himself.

Taking Kimi by his shoulder's and throwing him in the bed, taking off his shorts without asking, and to listening Kimi's surprised yelp was so gratifying.  
He take of the rest of his clothes, and stood there waiting for Kimi to do something, but Kimi was frozen ...

Sebastian then grabbed Kimi's head and bring it close to his dick, just then Kimi started to do something, slowly sucking his dick...  
But it was too slow, Sebastian wanted more, Kimi could do more ... but he understand that he need to more understandable this time.  
So he let Kimi dictate the pace, only stopping him when he was close...Kimi was so good to him ... Sebastian wanted to do something to him too, he would make Kimi feel good and would also satisfy his own curiosity.

Slowly laying Kimi on his back, he looked at Kimi eyes, while stroking his hair.

\- I will do something that will make you feel good.

Kimi just kept looking at him, while he put two of his fingers inside Kimi's mouth and Kimi sucked his fingers without divert his gaze, and in his eyes Sebastian could see the anxiety but also the fear.

Sebastian could understand Kimi's fear, but he was thinking about it since theirs little fun in India, and this time it would be special ... he would make it right, he would make it unforgettable ...  
He had to, he won't accept anything less than what he envisioned for this night, in the end Kimi would like and he would achieve a new objective.


	22. Vettel's POV

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sex...just because I'm horny...  
> This is Seb side, I will soon update with Kimi side of all this...

**_In the last chapter ..._ **

 

_Slowly laying Kimi on his back, he looked at Kimi eyes, while stroking his hair._

_\- I will do something that will make you feel good._

_Kimi just kept looking at him, while he put two of his fingers inside Kimi's mouth and Kimi sucked his fingers without divert his gaze, and in his eyes Sebastian could see the anxiety but also the fear._

_Sebastian could understand Kimi's fear, but he was thinking about it since theirs little fun in India, and this time it would be special ... he would make it right, he would make it unforgettable ..._   
_He had to, he won't accept anything less than what he envisioned for this night, in the end Kimi would like and he would achieve a new objective._

_._

_._

_._

Sebastian decided to put two fingers at once, and he could see that Raikkonen was complaining ... the reason why ... he didn't know ... he was being so careful.

\- Slow down you idiot.

\- Like this?

And Sebastian slowly slipped his two fingers all the way in, the continuous noises that Kimi did was incredible, he wanted to hear it again, so he withdrew his fingers and put them inside again. Repeating the movement several times.

After some time Kimi started to making his life difficult, Kimi closed his legs, grabbed his hand and sought to dictate the pace ...

_"no, no, no ... who will dictates the pace is he."_

When he saw that Kimi was accustomed , he decided to see how far the Finnish could go, he already had an idea of what Kimi can do with his mouth, but what they were doing is a new territory.  
He withdrew his fingers and brought them to Kimi's mouth but he refused to suck them, but it doesn't matter, if Kimi doesn't want to make things easier, it's alright.

So he turned his attention to Kimi's hole , placing two fingers, and already showing his intention to put a third one, and it was exactly what he did it.   
This time Kimi didn't complain much, he just gritted his teeth and gripped the sheets, a good sign ...  
He started moving back and forth and gently started to gaining up pace, until he was going so fast that every time he entered Kimi, the finn made strange noises...   
But Sebastian didn't see why he should bother, because if Kimi wasn't enjoying it, he certainly wouldn't be hard and certainly would not be stroking himself...

Everything was new to him, and he wanted to know what more was possible, then without warning, he put the fourth finger in, and Kimi came, squirming and bending his spine ...   
He never felt so proud, not when the subject was sex, but now it was different, it was Kimi, he had done it , another victory for him, he is amazing!

But the fact is that he just had the tip of his fourth finger inside of Kimi, and he wanted it his entire finger inside...  
He began to force the entry, the problem was that Kimi's internal muscles were very contracted.  
He withdrew his fingers, spat on them and tried to put all four at once, but it seemed impossible ...   
How? ...  
If there were four before, would have four again, and he only noticed that he exaggerated when he heard a cry coming from Kimi.

\- Stop!

And he stopped, staring at Kimi's face again, he hadn't moved away from him, but his face seemed to show a bit of pain or discomfort, so Sebastian adopted a new tactic...  
Look at Kimi.

And doing it he slowly got what wanted, he managed to put his four fingers inside Kimi, and this time they're fully inside.  
Kimi returned to lie on the bed, his hands on his lower abdomen, while breathing slowly.

Four ... Check  
Five ... maybe

But Sebastian was after his next goal, his next conquest, and this one was more difficult, since Kimi seemed to be at his limit.  
Sebastian had a lot a hard work to do to get what he wanted, but he also he had a lot of determination and wouldn't let himself be discouraged by Kimi complaints, and those legs that nearly knocked him one time or another ...   
he will get his five fingers inside ...   
and he did it ...

Once they were in, he started moving his fingers again, this time a little faster, because it was a celebration for his deed, and though it took a while, Kimi began to participate, every time he went a little deeper, Kimi moved away.

Sebastian could only think   
_"A new challenge!"_ ...

It was when Sebastian thought, five is not enough, he can do more...  
He changed his position, holding one of Kimi's leg, decided to have his entire hand inside Kimi, they were not so far from it anyway.

\- Seb?

He slowly started to push all five fingers

\- Seb what you're thinking?

Kimi was panting, it was visible in his voice, a little bit of preparation, he could have a new horizon of experiences.

\- Seb! Stop now! Let go of my leg!

It was incredible, it felt as if Kimi's muscles wanted to break your fingers...  
just a little more...

\- Stop it ... stop it ... STOP IT!

Kimi was hindering his life, he doesn't see how incredible it is ... Kim might as well stay still for a moment, why he moved so much?

\- Arrghh ... Seb ... pleasee.

_"Please? ... He wants more? Or ...?"_

But he was almost there, Sebastian wasn't cruel or anything, but he was about to reach his goal, he could hear some noises in the background, but that wasn't what mattered, what mattered was that he was almost there...   
He held the Kimi's leg with a little more force to see if he just stop moving so much, and, voilá!   
He did it!

_"I Won!"_

But Sebastian can hardly savor the moment, when a foot hit him right in the face, knocking him to the opposite side ...

_"Heck, Kimi really had a good kick... Kimi? ... Kimi!"_

Sebastian could see Kimi huddled in the bed, he held his abdomen and was making strange noises, he wasn't crying, Sebastian knew that, but it didn't seem a good noise.  
He approached and put his hand on Kimi's shoulder.

\- Sorry, I was distracted ... I don't ...

\- You idiot! You bastard ... I asked you to stop!

\- I know, I didn't pay attention ... sorry.

\- Sorry my ass! I TOLD YOU TO STOP! Are you deaf?

\- I ...

\- I don't wanna know! Clean your fucking hand before get close to me.

Sebastian was upset ...   
Again ...   
He did it again, he focused only on himself and forget that Kimi was also participating, this isn't a competition, it was to be sex or love, not a contest of who can handle more...  
But Kimi also never complains, whenever something goes out of control, instead of saying something, repress him, Kimi acts as if it were the most ordinary thing in the world, so Kimi must like it!  
Today was the closest thing to a "no" that they have got in years.

Sebastian went back to bed, and saw that Kimi had his back to him.  
He didn't like that, every time he stopped by to see Kimi, really look at him, not as a friend but as something more, he saw a beautiful man, with an almost incomparable beauty.

_"... Heikki might be prettier, but that guy must be from another planet ..."_

Kimi had a beautiful hair, eyes capable of make him lose his breath, and he even had tits ... hehehehe ...   
But it was the white skin that most attracts him, he could see everything, every freckle, spot, vein ...   
and scars ...  
he didn't like the scars, not one bit, and to look at Kimi's back was like having them rubbed on his face.  
How could he be aggressive with someone like Kimi?  
Kimi should be treated like a porcelain ... with love and delicacy.  
And he is a monster.

Sebastian lay down with his back to Kimi, and stared at the wall.  
Austin ...   
Kimi wouldn't be there in the next race, or in the last one. At least the racing would keep your mind occupied.  
But it would not take away the strangeness of not see Kimi on the track.

Sebastian was surprised by two arms that came from out of nowhere and pulled him close, he turned and looked at Kimi, who was smiling as if nothing had happened.

\- You will win the next two races.

\- I don't know....

\- I'm not asking, I'm telling you to.

\- ...

\- Do not be hard on yourself. I also agree with all this. You are not alone, the fault is not yours alone ... the same goes to the euphoria and pleasure.

\- Thank you, Kimi.

\- I'll start charging for my psychological consultation after each attempt to have sex. At this rate I'll be able to have my own F1 team.

\- Hahaha, funny.

\- Shut up. You make me talk too much. Now let's enjoy the silence ... I want to sleep.

\- Try not to drool on me.

\- I will drool wherever I want. And ... I want a cuddle.

\- Why?

\- Because I want to ...

Sebastian stroked Kimi's hair, who was fast asleep.

He could get used to that, and it scared him.

But he decided to do like Kimi said, "enjoy the silence", with the end of the championship, he'll have plenty of time to think about what direction he should take his personal life.


	23. Raikkonen's POV

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As promised, Kimi's side of the events ...

At first, everything was fun, he didn't know from where that idea came from, his last sexual relation with a man had been years ago...  
Before Jenni if he was not mistaken.

He had never felt comfortable with another man, but it was Seb, and Seb is ... different.

And when he sort of suggested it, Seb seemed really excited about the idea, so why not try.

Everything was fine, he was enjoying it, Seb was being careful, it wasn't the best he's ever had, but it was good, until Seb surprised him trying to put two fingers at once inside him.

No, this is not good ....

He didn't do it for a long time, and Seb was going too fast.  
But Seb seemed not to hear his complaints,

He had to be more assertive. He tried to pull away, but it did not work ...  
Seb still doing it too fast and was hurting him.

"- Slow down you idiot.

   - Like this? "

And Seb very slowly, put his fingers deeper than he tought possible... everything was burning, he barely had time to talk, or move away, it was too much for him, he felt a strange sensation, but it was not pleasant.

"Stop ...!"

And Seb seemed to read his thoughts only to attack him again...

_"it's too much" ..._

He wasn't ready for that, he has done everything to make it more enjoyable, he tried to hold Seb, he closed his legs, tried to dictate the pace, but Seb continued without stopping.

When he thought that the agony won't end, Seb found something inside him that made things a bit better ...   
Yes, it could still be considered a good idea.  
He could get used to that.  
But Seb ended it by removing his fingers ...

_"What?"_

Seb wanted him to suck it?  
Not even dead!

When Seb returned to doing what he was already doing, he was very happy ...   
They had finally understood what was good ...  
But Kimi felt something strange, and he soon realized that Seb wanted more, he could feel the third finger trying to get inside him ...

_"Relax ... relax ... relax ..."_

But he soon realized that he wasn't relaxed enough, when the third finger entered he could barely speak, he just grabbed the sheets and   
gritted his teeth, complain had already been proved useless.

At least this time Seb was being more careful, which made the things more bearable ... it took a little longer but he was getting used to it, but then Seb started getting more aggressive.

Kimi really thought about ending it all, but they were already doing it, he could at least try to get something out of it, so he began to masturbate, and in the sporadic moments that Seb found that special place, everything seemed to have compensated ... it was good ... very good ... intense ...

He was feeling that he was almost there ...  
When Seb put the fourth finger inside him, it was much, too much pressure, he felt like he was ripping apart ... but at the same time his   
body seemed to have enjoyed it ... and he came so hard, that he almost had a blackout.

When he came to himself, his body was still having spasming, but something warned him off ...

_"Too much .... too much .... too much"_

Seb would tear him apart, Seb has to stop, his body wasn't ready for more, he wasn't ready, but he couldn't speak ... he was exhausted.

Almost like a extinct of survival, he could only say something when Seb stuck four fingers inside him, he felt he was on the edge, his hole wasn't gonna to resist it anymore.

\- Stop!

Seb stopped and looked at him ... he wanted to show that he wasn't feeling good, but Seb looked so happy.

Seb really seemed to be enjoying it, and who he was kidding, he was also enjoying it until a few seconds ago ... accidents happen ... and looking at each other they seemed to have understood their pace.

He lay down again, and put his hands on his abdomen, he could feel Seb's movement inside him ... it was different, interesting ... he would never admit it to anyone, but he was surprised and even a little proud to have been able to do what he was doing.

Kimi was starting to feel ready for another round, he could feel another orgasm coming, his cock was already starting to stir ... 

But Seb had to ruin everything ...

Five was too much, he couldn't handle that, it had to stop right there, if he let it go on he would get hurt, and it would also hurt Seb...  
He tried to pull away, tried to push Seb with his legs, and but it was too late, Seb had inserted the fifth finger.

And Seb gave no time for him to adapt the invasion and started fuck him with all five fingers ...  
In every thrust he felt like he had been punched, he tried to get away, only to Seb push his fingers and go even deeper ... but he got really scared when Seb grabbed one of his legs and pinned him, he didn't like the look on Seb's face ... he had seen it before ... on the racetrack when he was facing rivals, when he sees everything as a competition, Seb was looking like he was trying to achieve a goal, and Kimi feared that this goal was something he certainly wasn't ready ...

\- Seb?

And Seb ignored him

\- Seb what you're thinking?

Kimi was getting nervous, Seb had to see that he was there too, he was participating, he didn't want whatever Sebastian wanted...

_"Seb, please, look at me, listen to me ..."_

\- Seb! Stop now! Let go of my leg!

He could tell he was at the his limit, his body was already sore because of his lesions more the orgasm, he had no strength left...  
He could feel something inside him doing something it shouldn't do... Seb couldn't continue, he had to do something ...

\- Stop it ... stop it ... stop it!

He saw no other alternative, he began trying to leave the bed, talking with Seb all the time ...  
He had to get out ... Seb wasn't listening to him ...

\- Arrghh ... Seb ... pleasee.

Dear Odin, it was not a competition and if it was Seb had already won.

\- Seb! You're hurting me!

\- Stop it!

And when Seb grabbed his hips, he noticed that he had taken too much time to do something ...  
He could feel something inside him rip ... he felt Seb's hand inside him ...

_"Get out ...get out ... get out"_

And he did what he should have done when they were on the third finger ... he kicked Seb right in the face, with all the force he could.

He soon saw that this wasn't a good idea, Seb had got out of him too fast, it hurt too much, he was afraid, he was very afraid ...

Is he really alright?  
That feeling was normal?

He felt Seb put a hand on his shoulder ... but he didn't want to talk to Seb right now, he didn't want to hear that "sorry" conversation again ... Seb ignored him ... ignored HIM ... again ... he asked him to stop ... he begged him to stop

"- Sorry, I was distracted ... I don't ...

\- You idiot! You bastard ... I asked you to stop!

\- I know, I didn't pay attention ... sorry.

\- Sorry my ass! I TOLD YOU TO STOP! Are you deaf?

\- I ...

\- I don't wanna know! Clean your fucking hand before get close to me."

He could see that Seb was upset , but it would serve as a lesson .

A lesson for him and Seb, they had to set limits, he had to set limits, if they don't do anything, things will go out of control and will destroy them.  
He always had encouraged these behaviors, now Seb was seeing everything as a competition and the worst, Seb was starting to seeing him as a challenge ...

Kimi knew if he let himself become a challenge for Seb, he would end up with serious problems, and Seb, well, Seb wouldn't be able to look at him in end.

Seb isn't a kid anymore ...  
Kimi couldn't deny that he liked like that will to win that Seb have ...  
He wasn't made of porcelain, and Seb didn't treat him as if he could break ... during his life, Kimi always saw the others protect him, he didn't mind, it was convinient, but Seb treated him differently ... it was special ...   
Seb didn't do what he wanted, Seb forced him to impose himself , and well , he was failing at it, so he couldn't blame only Seb .

Both were wrong, maybe it was better if they had never crossed that invisible barrier that kept the two away from a physical relationship for so many years, they weren't ready for it.

Kimi didn't know what to do, but he knew he had to make a decision in regard to that, because Seb, for more dominant that he is on the racetrack or even when trying to sex, wasn't as dominant or sure of himself when it was to make a decision on them.

He can feel Seb lying beside him ...  
Yes, it was Seb who said that he wanted try to get to another level, and he was curious, he felt turned on by Seb's possessiveness and aggressiveness ... he liked being the one responsible for that ...

He know Seb very well, and the boy is probably blaming himself ... Seb is a great man, with a big presence, sometimes so big that made others disappear ... but sometimes Seb showed that he still a 26 years old boy, and like any boy of twenty something, he felt confused by some of his decisions...

Well, this was what he was there for, to be the safe haven, to stand firm when Seb was having doubts ...

"- You will win the next two races.

\- I don't know....

\- I'm not asking, I'm telling you to.

\- ...

\- Do not be hard on yourself. I also agree with all this. You are not alone, the fault is not yours alone ... the same goes to the euphoria and pleasure.

\- Thank you, Kimi.

\- I'll start charging for my psychological consultation after each attempt to have sex. At this rate I'll be able to have my own F1 team.

\- Hahaha, funny.

\- Shut up. You make me talk too much. Now let's enjoy the silence ... I want to sleep.

\- Try not to drool on me.

\- I will drool wherever I want. And ... I want a cuddle.

\- Why?

\- Because I want to ..."

Seb is a very good person, with a great sense of humor, Seb had won his heart on his first year in F1, and nothing would make his feelings for the boy diminish, they have gone through worse things ...  
He just had to fit himself in the new conditions ...  
They would be alright, he was sure of it ...

Kimi knew he would have time to think about what to do, he would dictate what would be the next step, someone had to decide ...  
And if there was something he always knew is that Seb is theirs engine, Seb was the head and body of that relationship, but Kimi is the   
neck, and he says to which direction the body have to go.


	24. Horner - part 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Poor Horner, I know this isn't in his job description.  
> Thanks for the kudos e comments! XD

Horner finally relaxed, they have achieved both titles, constructors and drivers, and now he could begin to divide his attention with the car for the next year and all the changes it would bring.

Everyone was happy and proud of theirs work, an really great atmosphere within the team ...  
Even Mark was feeling good about life.  
This year they even had a marriage proposal, he remembers like it was yesterday, Sebastian was so involved with it, and he noticed the subtle joke within the boards, one belong to Sebastian, the other belong to Raikkonen ... it wasn't theirs names, but it was theirs boards.

He really loved that boy.

This year could have gotten competitive, but they adapted faster to the changes, faster than any other, and with the car and Sebastian racing like they're alone in the track, they simply destroyed the competition ...  
But this never took away his concern with the next year, the changes are many, one little mistake, and their's season will be hell.

All in all, that was no reason to have headaches...  
But Huovinen coming up with a worried look on his face, was reason enough to have headaches, and back pains, and feel himself getting old.

\- I have to inform you about something.

\- Which is?

\- Is about Sebastian and ... Kimi.

The week was so good ...  
What those two had done?  
Should be something great to Heikki come talk to him.

\- What happened?

\- I saw them, and ... well ... I think their relationship reached on a new level.

\- I don't like the sound of that, what kind of new level?

\- I believe they are already more than friends.

\- But what about Hanna?

\- I also ask myself, I don't think she knows, and Sebastian says that they didn't know what they want or are.

\- I'll talk to Kimi ...

\- But Sebastian said it was he who started it all...

\- I don't care ... Raikkonen may be the only one that Sebastian will hear ... and this is very risky, their friendship already draws much attention, if they have something else, people will notice.

\- I agree, they're getting more distracted, that's how I found out, and if I saw, more people may end up seeing.

Horner could see the worry on Huovinen's face, and if Huovinen was worried then it is very serious.  
He thanked him for the warning, and wondered if he should call Britta or not ... she didn't know everything that was going on, but she is responsible for Sebastian's image ... after much consideration, he chose to inform Britta only the necessary details and let himself handle the talking with Sebastian.

When he arrived to Sebastian's hotel room, he knocked, called and no one answered ...  
He was about to give up when Sebastian opened the door but stood in the way preventing his entry.

\- Christian? What are you doing here at this hour?

\- We need to talk ...

\- ...

\- Now Seb!

But Sebastian was still blocking his entrance.

\- Now is not a good time.

\- You are no longer in a position to decide.

Horner forced his way in, he could see that Sebastian tried to stop him, but they had to have this conversation right now.  
He could not let this problem continue...

\- Christian, wait ... please!

And he had to stop, however he wanted know what Sebastian was hiding, but he also understood the need for privacy and respect.

\- Alright ... but I need you to explain what is happening ... why Heikki came to me, looking for help.

\- He talked to you!?

\- He's worried, he didn't told me what happened, but asked me to talk to you ... so tell me Sebastian, what's happening?

\- Nothing, it's nothing.

\- You can tell me. I just want your best, you know that.

But Sebastian refused to talk or even look to him.  
He sat on the nearest sofa and called Sebastian to sit beside him, Horner knew he had to be the most humane and paternal possible, act like a boss at this time would only make Sebastian shut up and move away.

When Sebastian finally sat down beside him, he remained speechless, with one hand on his driver's shoulder, waiting for him to feel ready to talk.

\- I don't know what is happening to me.

\- How so?

\- I'm not like this, I'm not that aggressive and competitive person, isn't it?

\- Seb, I'll be honest with you. You are a competitive, ambitious and sometimes aggressive ... but this is a good thing, this is one of the reasons you're so successful.

\- But that's why everybody hates me, the booing ...

\- Sebastian, you know that isn't the reason ...

\- He hates me, maybe not yet, but he will hate me.

Horner knew who Sebastian was talking about, but he needed to hear Sebastian say this, he needed to help the boy and take some weight from his back.

\- Who, Sebastian?

\- I only hurt him, I ignore him ... I ... I ... and ... and he says it's okay, but it isn't! I lose control got distracted ... he asked me to stop, he tried to stop me several times ... not just today, not just this time, but I ... I only think about myself ... I want, I take, I possess ... and he says it's okay, but it's not ... I know it is not! And I still have Hanna! What am I doing?

\- Sebastian ... try to keep calm.

\- I cannot leave her, she can't know ... and he ... I can lose him too.

\- He doesn't hate you ... you aren't gonna to lose him.

\- There is no way for you to know!

\- The same goes to you, did he gave you some reason to believe that he doesn't share the same feelings.

\- It isn't a matter of feelings ... but of attitudes, I'm not good for him  
.  
\- He told you that?

\- No.

\- Then there is no reason for you to feel like this ... now about Hanna, if there is a woman who is able to understand this, it's her.

Sebastian looked at him as if was pleased by his words, but at the same time didn't believe in them.  
Horner also had his doubts, for example, he didn't believe Hanna could be so understanding, and he didn't know what Sebastian had done to think he wasn't worthy of another's affection.

\- Sebastian , if I may ask, are you talking about Raikkonen?

\- Yes

\- And you know my position about this?

\- Yes

\- You sure about that ? Is that what you want ?

\- I like ... no ... I love him ... and I think he feels the same.

\- But you know it's not so simple, everyone is watching you two, and this sport, it doesn't forgive somethings, it doesn't accept somethings .

\- We know the risks .

\- I just want to be clear , you see everyday how it is for a woman here, try to think how it would be for ... for a situation like this .

\- I know all of it , I know the world isn't a fairy tale, ok. I know we will be used as an example if someone catch us, and I know that is the reason why Heikki was so scared and the reason why you're here.

\- I'm here not only as your boss, but as someone who cares. I know that Raikkonen would do anything to ensure your safety ... the safety of your carrer ... what I fear is you ... I fear that you will do something without thinking .

\- I'm already doing it , don't I?

_" Yes , he is doing exactly it..."_

But there's a limit to where he can interfere, it will reach a point where he can only watch, and when that happen, he wanted to be sure that he did everything in his power to help Sebastian ...  
When that happen, he knows that Sebastian will only have Raikkonen with him, and Horner really wanted to believe that the older man would see the whole picture and will do the right thing.

\- Sebastian, I can only tell what I think is the best, but I can't make you do it.

\- Hehehe, technically you can.

\- But I believe it won't be needed.

\- So what do you suggest?

\- Stop all of this, this thing, whatever it may be, you two have to stop it right now ... while you can still call each other friends ...

\- Seb?

Horner could understand Sebastian, he have meet Raikkonen not so many years ago, and he was really a interesting person, he was funny, caring, and had a sense of honesty to be admired ... yeah sometimes he was a little rude, something could sound disrespectful, but he was being sincere, and most of time ... truth hurts.  
And it wasn't just that ...  
Horner can see and admit that Raikkonen is a beautiful man, he can see the marks of age in the finn's face but he still quite a sight ...  
So yes, Horner can understand why Sebastian liked Raikkonen, not only for his looks, but also for the person he is.

\- Kimi, Christian is here ... I think we should explain somethings to him.

He could see Raikkonen's icy blue eyes looking at him, the finn isn't angry, that is something.  
Horner could also see that Raikkonen was walking a little odd and refused to sit ... but he decided to don't ask about it.

\- There's nothing to explain.

\- But Kimi!

\- You will pack your things, and prepare yourself to the next race ... and I ... I will get ready for a trip to Italy.

\- What?!

Horner could see that Sebastian wasn't expecting it from Raikkonen, whatever was happening now, he was the one triggering it.  
Raikkonen was talking to Sebastian, but he was looking at him.

\- You still have two more races to win...

\- So do you!

\- No I don't, I will visit Italy and then return to Finland, this season is over for me

\- No! You will race! I'm telling you to!

\- I'm sorry, but it won't happen

\- What is going on? It's me?

\- No.

\- Look at me and tell me what it is ...

\- ...

\- Kimi, look at me ...

\- ...

\- I'M RIGHT HERE, LOOK AT ME NOT AT HIM...

\- ...

\- LOOK AT ME! I'M TELLING YOU TO TELL ME WHAT FUCK IS GOING ON!

Now Horner could see what Sebastian was so upset about, all his aggression and egoism, that fits him so well inside the car, inside the racetrack, was focused in one person ... and it wasn't pretty ...

\- I'm not fit for racing, Seb ... I'm tired ... I'm in pain ...

\- You can sleep it off ...

Horner could see Sebastian returning to normal, returning to be the one he knew.

\- You're the one who was angry at me because I wasn't caring for my health! I'm doing it now! I'm not getting my pay ... I will not risk myself.

\- And you're telling me it just now.

\- I decided it just now ... it's for the best ... you can also concentrate yourself in the races, and in your training.

\- It isn't because of ...

\- No it isn't, I was already thinking about it.

Sebastian stayed there in silence for a while, then he nodded showing that he agreed. But still didn't say anything.

\- Seb, why don't you take a shower and dress something better? We can get out and have a good drink ... it will be good and relaxing.

\- Okay.

Horner could see Sebastian leaving just he and Raikkonen there.  
Raikkonen stayed standing, now with his arms crossed, Horner noticed that he was probably  
thinking about something.

\- I get it ... and I understand your concern.

\- So this was the reason for such decision?

\- No, I was already talking with Steve about it. It was a possibility, one that I could take, one that I will take ... and some time apart will do us both good.

\- I'm glad that at least you are thinking clearly.

\- Don't confuse the things. I know what I want ... it's Seb that I worry about.

\- What I saw here ... it's a normal occurence?

\- It is ... and it have to stop ... Seb think I'm a trophy, something he is competing to achieve and he isn't accepting anything different from a victory, even if it's me who is asking him to stop.

\- That isn't healthy

\- I know, I let the things get this far ... I think we both need this time apart

\- I see, I think it's better this way. By the end of the calendar he will have almost none PR work and the press won't be on his tail, then you two can work it out without much a fuss.

\- Good to know that we agreed ... so ... do you suggest some place for we to go?

\- We?

\- Yes, you're coming with us.

\- I don't think it's necessary...

\- It is ... there's nothing better than an beer to close a deal

\- What deal it would be?

\- I won't bother Seb in the next month, and you won't bother us when we decided what to do with our relationship ...

Raikkonen approached him, his eyes cold and determined.

\- Deal?

\- Deal!

 

 


	25. Separate Ways

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I finally post all the chapters I had write so far ...  
> Now everything is a blank page ... so the next chapter may take a while to come, if anyone have some sugestion be free to write it.  
> Thanks for everything.

Talking about strange situations...  
This is what it is ...  
Horner didn't know what to say, he only had doubts ...  
Since when did he become Sebastian's father?  
Why the hell he got himself in this situation ...  
And exactly what are their's roles here ...

Would Sebastian showing him his new girlfriend?  
Or it was Sebastian's boyfriend asking his blessing?  
No...

Horner knew exactly what it is...  
It is two drivers making a mess, getting themselfs in some deep shit, trying to show him that everything is under control when it is clearly about to blow ...

Sebastian is becoming a possessive asshole, and Raikkonen is letting himself fall in the victim role ...  
And now he got himself in the middle of this big shit...

This wasn't his job...  
So why is he here?

Well he just got to look at Sebastian's young and confused face to forget about his agressive side, and remember only the young boy with big dreams and ambitions, that looked at him in search of advice and approval...  
And then he look to the other side and see a man known for his lack of emotion, cold as ice, trying to keep his posture, trying to look sure of himself and of his decisions, but that deep down on those eyes are showing all his doubts and fear...

Sebastian was afraid of what he is becoming with Kimi, he is afraid of the consequences, but he also didn't want anyone else to tivesse Kimi, even if it is just to talk to him...  
And Kimi...  
Kimi was slowly losing his so powerfull dominance over Sebastian, and probably is noticing that he is becoming submissive to Sebastian's desires, and is, without a doubt, afraid of what is happening...

Horner can understand the older driver, he would be scared too if he noticed that he is losing his voice, his power to say no, to someone like Sebastian.  
Not that Sebastian is bad person, far from it, the kid is so attentive, caring, dedicated ... but, he also is ruthless, and Horner couldn't stop remember Sebastian yelling at Kimi for no reason at all, that isn't the young man he knows, that isn't the way that the relationship of those two was ...

Of course it isn't a completly surprise, since the beggining of their friendship, Sebastian wanted Kimi attention all to himself, he was always close to the finn, and didn't let anyone else talk alone to him, not if he can stop it...  
And now over the years, with Kimi encouraging this side of Sebastian personality, seemed that everything that he worked so hard to make Sebastian be, was turned against him and hit him at full force ...  
Horner and Kimi, and he believed that Sebastian as well, had noticed that the finn is becoming a victim of what he helped to create.

But despite everything, Horner can see on Kimi that the love, the care, the sentiment for Sebastian still intact, but he could also see fear and the doubt of what they are doing...  
He did believe that for more that Kimi assure Sebastian that it is alright, the things they're doing, what Sebastian has done, had affected Kimi more than physically.

Speaking of physical, when Sebastian left to go the bathroom, he asked Kimi what he didn't want to, but that he had to...

\- Kimi, did Sebastian ... hum ... did he ... are you hurt?

\- I'm fine.

\- And I'm being serious here. Don't act like a child, you aren't one. Are you hurt?

\- I'm feeling a strange pain, but it's bearable...and I ...

Horner could see that Kimi was embarassed, but he needed to make sure, Sebastian is his employee, and for more that he could say that it is theirs personal problem, more or less six years ago, he and Raikkonen have embraced the boy and decided to take responsability for some of his actions...

Horner could see that Kimi is already suffering for these actions...  
He just have to make sure that he doesn't need to interfere.

\- You ... what?

\- I verified, ok ... It's all in place.

\- Hum. If you say so. But if you start to feel bad, go to a doctor.

\- And say what? No... I'm fine.

\- ...

\- ...

\- ...

\- ...

What amazing conversation...  
Horner was grateful that Sebastian returned and brought some happiness with him.  
He could also see how Kimi behaviour changed, the eyes were shining again, the smile was present and the posture of a proud friend, its all there again...  
He was right to accept Kimi's deal, Sebastian would kill them both if they don't get a time away from each other.  
It would be a sad thing, he liked those two.

But like he thought, Sebastian had raised their spirit.  
Some beers and jokes later, and anyone without the knowledge of the circunstances would believe that everything was fine e perfect ... and for what Horner could see, they both also believed that ... and because of it, even more and more he started to really agree with Kimi, they urgently need a time apart from eachother.

Between the beers Horner pensou about where they have failed, where he started to closed his eyes to Sebastians flaws, where Kimi started to accept some behaviours...

In somewhere along all these years, they had commit a mistake, one that didn't appeared in the racetrack, but that is there in their personal lifes...if the mistake was his, or if was Kimi's it doesn't matter, now they got to fix it...  
And maybe that was the mistake in first place, to think that they were wrong and never Sebastian was wrong...if this was theirs sin, so there's nothing they could do, Sebastian is what he is in this time of his life, and he will not change.

Horner could turn his back after 2015, Sebastian probably won't be his employee anymore, but Kimi, Kimi can run away so easily.  
But he could see that no matter what Sebastian do, in Kimi's eyes he is and always will be Seb, never Sebastian, never Vettel ... that make him question himself and his involvement in this mess, they were adults, supposedly responsibles, and he isn't their parents, so in fact it isn't his job to be there holding their hands ... his job is to control the damage, control the situation, for the best of the team, and right now, this is take care of those two, but there will be a time where it won't be the case.

So Horner don't let himself felt bad when he got himself thinking that it was theirs problem, not his, while Sebastian is his employee, while he is part of RBR family, it is his obligation to take care of him, but after that, Sebastian is on his own, of course he would be there but only if Sebastian ask him to, as for Kimi ... well ... Raikkonen had made his bed.

But for now he will let the future in the future, today they will drink, telling histories and act like everything was fine and normal...like they never had decided to cross that thin line between theirs friendship and that disturbing thing that they had now.


	26. Pain

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The music mentioned in this chapter is Blind Faith by Chase and Status ... the first time I listened to this music was in a rally event in which I participated here in my country, the Rally dos Bandeirantes, and this music simply glued in my memory ... I I listened to it again while my ex was playing a rally game ... so this music to me means rally.  
> And I also thank you all for the likes and kudos and comments, I got some ideas to where take this fic ...  
> Thank you all, hope you like! XD

 

 

Pain was the first thing he felt...  
Later the pain was everything he felt...  
His lower abdomen was hurting, his back was killing him, his neck was stiff and his feet were tingling, every step was torture.

_"what is wrong with me?"_

Raikkonen decided to ignore it, he was relatively well when he did the seat fitting at Ferrari, why he was feeling those things now?

He swallowed painkillers like they were M&Ms, he filled himself with plasters until he looked like a mummy and returned to his home where he decided to stay quiet ...  
He was happy when all the drugs started to show results, he even started to be able to move his neck, the only thing that didn't become better was the abdominal pain, so he did what his mother teached him, he warmed the salt in a hot skillet, put salt on a dish towel, rolled the towel and did a homemade hot compress, placing the same in his abdomen he lay in his bed and stayed there motionless until he lost track of time.

It's pathetic but that was the way he was passing his days...

He missed Seb in those moments, he knows that he was the one who came with the idea of expend some time apart from each other, but right now, he just wanted someone there with him, he tried to sleep, but everything in his body was preventing him from relax ... at every crisis he looked at his cellphone, wanting to call Sebastian, but since it was he said that bullshit of give time and space would be good for them, he would stay faithfull to his words...

But then, the pain became much strong, he just wanted to sleep a little...

_"What I did to deserve this? Why? By Odin's beard, Why I'm being punished? For what?"_

He stayed strong till he can't anymore, he grabbed his phone, looping through his agenda stopping only when he found Sebastian number and he stayed there looking at Sebastian's name hoping that it would be enough to make him feel better.  
But it didn't, so he tought that maybe Sebastian's voice would make him feel better...  
But he stopped himself from calling Sebastian, what good it will do, his confort will be temporary and Sebastian was still racing, he would only bother him, he would become a burden, so he ran through the agenda till he found Arnall's number.

Every ring was an eternity, he waited and waited...

_"Please Mark, answer! Please!"_

Raikkonen couldn't even noticed the tears leaving his eyes when Arnall finally answer his phone.

\- Kimi?

\- ...

\- Kimi? Are you alright?

\- ...

\- Kimi talk to me? Are you there?

\- ... Please ...

\- What's is happening?

\- ... please ... help me.

Raikkonen didn't know what happened, when he noticed he could only listen to Arnall in the phone talking desperately with him...

_"What is happening?"_

He tried to get up, but his legs were numb, he could still hear Arnall in the background, but his mind were strange, and everything seemed to be in slow motion, so slow and without sense that he didn't notice the time passing and didn't notice that Arnall had arrived...

_"How much time was passed? What I'm doing stand there in the middle of the room? How close Arnall was from my house?"_

Nothing made sense to him...  
When he returned to himself, he was in the bed again, Arnall sitting close to him with a worried face.

\- You gave me quite a scare boy.

\- How ... ?

\- You are crazy? I don't had a clue of what drugs you have mixed in your organism!

\- The pain ... didn't go away.

\- Doctors and hospitals are there for things like that.

\- I ...

\- Forget it, how you're feeling?

\- Need painkillers ... tired ... need sleeping.

\- Sorry, but no painkillers for you, you have to hold on for now, just for some hours.

Arnall didn't want to say it to the Kimi, but he couldn't risk, he didn't know what still in the boy's body.  
Some time later, after seeing Kimi getting worse and worse he decided to call Steve, they needed to do something, this isn't normal, this is beyond his abilities.

\- Steve, he needs to go a hospital.

\- What is happening?

\- I don't know, he isn't well and is getting worse, you need to find a hospital for him, right now!

\- I'm on it. I will be here as soon as I can.

\- Just find a hospital.

The next hours were the worst, Raikkonen was completly out of his mind, his forehead was sweating as he gripped the sheets, his breathing was irregular and all he said was "enää ralli ... enää ralli"  
Arnall did all he could to make things better, but he could only ask himself, for how long Kimi was feeling this? Why Kimi didn't call anyone?

  
\- Mark?

\- Hi there, finally in the world of the living!

Kimi's smile made him feel better, but it didn't last long.

\- Mark, can you pinch my feet?

\- What?

\- ... please?

And he did that, but when he looked at Kimi's face, the boy was scared, his eyes full of water.

\- Do it again.

And again he did, Kimi was breathing faster, his eyes weren't scared anymore, they were terrified.

\- I can't feel it.

Arnall was in shock, he look at the boy's face, that between small sobs was smiling in what he believed to be panic.

\- My legs are tingling and I can't feel my foot, it's like they weren't there.

\- When did it started? It's only happened now?

\- No ... I lost the notion of time, but my feet were stranger before, they were tingling just like my legs are now.

\- And you didn't asked help, didn't go to a hospital?

\- I didn't tought it was serious...

\- ARE YOU STUPID!? FOR HOW LONG ARE YOU FEELING THIS THINGS?

\- ... since India.

Arnall couldn't quite believed, the boy was mad, insane, he was inside a F1 car, while he clearly should be in a hospital, he wasn't going to tell anyone? He was keep going through it till he could not move anymore?

\- WHAT IS YOUR PROBLEM?! HAVE YOU LOST YOUR MIND?

\- We talked to the doctor in India, he say I could wait till december.

\- HE SAY THAT, I WAS THERE TOO, BUT IF I REMEMBER CLEARLY HE ALSO SAID THAT IF YOU STARTED TO FEEL SOMETHING ANORMAL YOU SHOULD GO TO DOCTOR IMMEDIATELY.

\- STOP YELLING AT ME! I GET IT, I WAS WRONG, BUT I DIDN'T THINK IT WAS MUCH OF PROBLEM OK ... ONLY NOW IT GOT WORSE, I DON'T KNOW WHAT I DID TO MAKE IT WORSE ... SO DON'T FUCKING YELL AT ME, I'M ALREADY PAYING FOR MY DECISIONS I DON'T NEED YOU TO GIVE ME LECTURES.

Arnall decided to stay in silence, and just watched while the boy lay in the bed again.

He tought that maybe it was better to leave him alone, and worry himself with some other things like grab clothes, and prepare himself to their trip to the hospital, he only needed Steve's confirmation of which hospital they should go.

When he finally got the answer he felt the need to punch Steve...  
Why it have to be the most distant hospital? The man really know how to complicate the things...  
But his anger with Steve diminuiu when he arrived at the Kimi's bedroom, before he enter the room he listened to Kimi's cries, so he waited till the boy cried everything he needed and entered in the room.

\- We are going to the hospital.

Raikkonen didn't say anything, he just nodded, he looked to his cellphone one last time, Sebastian name in it, and thought if he should call or not ... he still in conflict between his choices, because he didn't know what is happening too, so he decided that just look at Sebastian name would be enough, for years they didn't fight the other fights, and this is his fight, his problem, he would fix it, then be the result good or not, he know that Sebastian would be there with him.

Shutting down the phone, he let himself be carried by Mark to the car, and let the older man lay him in the back seat...

While Arnall make the final preparations, he could only look at the roof of the car while trying to clean his mind of any thought, of any pain ... but when Arnall turn the car on and the radio started to play a music ... and Raikkonen could only thought that life wanted not only to finish him, but also to rub it in his face ...

He remember that music, it was during Sebastian's visit in the WRC, the first time they had a fight, when he was man enough to finish the conversation, to say no  
... and that was the fucking music playing in the event ...

" I am a man with a heavy heart  
And I dare not turn the pages  
Fighting with automatic self destruction  
It's a blind faith  
A cruel waste  
One bitter taste  
So I know I need this sweet sensation "

The rally are where everything started, where his  
problems begun, but it was also where he started to realise his feelings, what irony...  
He couldn't help himself, he started to cry and laugh at the same time ...  
fucking rally...  
fucking music...  
fucking back...  
fucking Sebastian.

" What is a man now to do with his mind  
When it's working overtime  
The best I can do is now dance with the devil  
I keep my soul sane  
I won't waste  
This time and space  
So I know I need this sweet sensation "

\- Arnall please!

\- Yes?

\- The music ...

\- Do you want to turn it off?

\- No, raise the volume.

Yes, he would hold on that sweet sensation, only the sweet moments, he would throw away the misunderstandings, what matters now is himself, he have to focus on the good things...  
The F1 could not bury him, the rally could not kill him, so the entire nordic pantheon will have to land on the mortals realm if they want to make him lose hope.


	27. Surgery, Arnall and Toivonen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter has several poetic licenses.  
> Toivonen was a Finnish rally driver and he died in a rally accident in 86, trapped inside the car that took fire or exploded after crashing.  
> But he is not the owner of any record at any stage, as far as I know... and of course, Raikkonen never suffered a near fatal accident ...  
> And I leave a tip, try to know about Group B, it was an incredible category that existed in the 80s.  
> Pure and simply madness on wheels.

 

 

When they got at the hospital the things went pretty easy, and as soon Kimi was admitted, they found him a the room, checking the surgery for two days later ... so far so good ...  
The boy spent most of the time in silence, speaking only with his mother and brother, and sometimes with Steve, no friend or acquaintance appeared, Arnall later discovered that this was Steve's recommendation, and he was so angry with the businessman ...

Why isolate Kimi when he is going through this hard time?

Their fears came two days later, when Kimi had recovered his feet sensations and decided that surgery wasn't necessary anymore, it took lots of conversation to convince him ... Rami was actually essential that moment ...

But the surgery should have already finished ...

More two more hours, why he had to stay another two hours in surgery ... it wasn't to be a simple procedure ?...

Arnall was waiting for three hours, and now they he should wait for two more ...  
five hours ...  
it doesn't seem like a simple and standard procedure ...

The worst was seeing the face of Raikkonen's mother and nervous boys worried about theirs uncle situation ...  
All of it make him remember that moment that he didn't want to remember ... all he wanted was someone to talk and forget that moments.

And it seemed that another young man had heard his request.

Arnall went to answer his phone, and saw that the call was from Vettel.  
He knew that sooner or later the boy would call him.

  
\- Mark.

\- HOSPITALIZED? ... SURGERY?! WHEN YOU GUYS WERE GONNA TO TELL ME?

\- Good afternoon to you too ... and ... in what world have you been? Kimi was admitted earlier in this week, all the press already know.

\- Oh .. but ... I didn't know.

\- Let me guess, a week full of sponsors events and more training than what is normal from Huovinen.

\- Yes

Arnall never was tired of admiring what Kimi and Horner were willing to do to protect that boy, it would be nice if it weren't pathetic.

\- Well, since you are so outdated I'll tell you, he's in surgery.

\- When will he be able to talk? When will the surgery ends?

\- It was to be over already.

\- Did something happen?

\- Not that I know of.

\- Mark ...

\- Ask.

\- What has changed?

\- This time the crisis was very strong, we tried everything, but nothing has diminished the pain ... when he woke up with his legs numb and with no sensitivity on his toes, Steve and I decided to take the responsibility and sent him to the hospital, he was admitted almost immediately.

\- He wasn't feeling his toes? This isn't a good sign ...

\- Don't worry, the doctor said that this could happen, there is nothing permanent, but he say we did the right thing by choosing to make surgery now and not wait more time, if he keeping pushing his spine the way he was, it could turn out to be ...

\- turn out to be ...?

\- A severe damage or paralysis and it would irreversible.

\- Oh my God!

\- He'll be fine boy. He always be.

He knew that the boy cared about Kimi, cared too much, how many times he have to leave the two alone, how many times have he closed his eyes and put his headphones.

Arnall always followed the philosophy of if he hadn't seen nor heard, there would be nothing for he to say, and it had worked very well along the years ... but with those two, even with all his care it was impossible not to notice that there was something between them.

\- Can I ask you something?

\- It depends.

\- You were there when WRC accident happened?

\- No ... I arrived with the rescue.

\- What really happened?

\- He wanted to beat Toivonen's record.

\- What is so special about this record? Why this one?

\- Well .. Kimi had won the stage, his first win of that year, there was no need to do the stage again.

\- But he did.

\- Yeah ... and as I said, the record belongs to Toivonen, a fellow finn, it's said to be the perfect lap. Kimi finished that stage only 2,3 seconds off the record ... He came back and go straight to race direction saying that he had discovered what was missing to brake the record , asking them to let him try again ...

\- Didn't you stop him?

\- I tried ... we try ... Loeb, Solberg, we all went up to him to convece him not to do it, but he was determined.

\- I got one question, what perfect lap is that?

\- It was during the Group B time, Toivonen was incredible, racing like never before, and he just obliterated everyone's time, but before he could return and enjoy his glory moment, he crashed his Lancia and got stuck inside the car that caught fire ... he and the co-pilot were burned alive ... that and some others terrible accidents made Balestre decide to close the Group B.

\- My God!

\- That happened before you were even born ... no one ever broke Toivonen's record, some say it is impossible, because he was no longer among mortals when he did that ...

\- And Kimi tried.

\- Yes, and I believe that he could do it, in fact he was doing it, he was faster than Toivonen, the fear made him commit a mistake ...

\- How so?

\- Have you ever looked in someone's eyes when that someone is really scared, fearing for the life? Real fear, as if he knew he was going to slaughter?

\- No. ..

\- That was the look on Kimi's face, but he wouldn't back away, he said that he would brake that record and he would do it or die trying ... well ... you know the outcome.

\- It was because of this? Because of a record!

\- It wasn't just a record! It was THE record, Toivonen is a national legend, a rally legend, no one ever got close to his time, don't tell me if you were there and saw the possibility you wouldn' t try to brake that too?

\- Me? I ... don't know ...

\- Would you do the same.

\- No! I ... I would not kill myself for it, I know I have people who care about me, I'm not that selfish.

\- Yes, you are ... and you would do the same. You two belong to the same species, both are competitors, how the you two approach the sport is different, but the goal is the same, winning, being the best ... and this inevitably will lead to moments like that.

\- He could have died.

\- Yes, he could, but he could also have beaten Toivonen's record, something said to be impossible, the perfect lap ... this isn't something worth risking your life?

\- ..... Yes

\- I knew you'd understand ... okay ... I didn't know, but Kimi was sure you'd understand, he now suffers the consequences of his decision, but I have no doubt that if he see that opportunity again he would not hesitate and would do it all again.

\- He was going to leave me ...

\- Never ... he would never do that to you. You're too important for him. But motor racing is his greatest passion, above everything else, even you.

\- ...

\- Then be surprised boy, if one day he has to choose between the uncertainty of tomorrow to try to achieve something he wants or see you in the next day, he will probably choose to risk everything.

\- I don't want to see him like that again.

\- Neither do I, and I saw him just after the crash , that was a serious crash, boy ... but one of the first things he told me was, "don't tell Seb."

\- He doesn't wanted me to know?

\- He cares so much about you, that soon after talking to his family, he thought about you.

\- He'll be fine?

\- Yes, he will ... in a month he will already be doing exercises again, and soon he'll be back on the racetrack, better and faster ... and with no pain ... I hope so.

\- The pain will end then.

\- It will never go away, but this surgery will make his life better.

\- Good.

\- I'll tell him that you called ... he probably will tell you what is happening better than me.

\- Thanks Mark.

\- You're welcome, boy.

This is crazy in Arnall's opinion, but he could understand them, the desire to do something never done, to have his name remembered by generations, the achievements.  
For him this desire was always visible in the young German, but Kimi also had it whitin him, he always had, he just hid it very well.

No matter the outcome, he will be there with Kimi, ready for a new stage in Kimi's life, he also has to start thinking in a new series of exercises to strengthen the muscles of the back and neck.

He have to concentrate, that brief conversation instead of making him feel better, had left him troubled, he didn't like to remember what happened ... and he had seen a lot of nasty things when the subject was Kimi, one of the worst was his exposed wrist fracture, he remembered like it was yesterday, Kimi holding his hand that was bleeding nonstop, they're in the snow, and the red blood in all that whiteness made it even more scary ...  
But what was more bizarre was Kimi's tranquility , some can be confuse it with shock, but he knew Kimi well enough to know that wasn't it ...

But the rally case was different, Kimi's eyes had no life, blood was coming out of every hole he could see ...  
mouth...  
nose...  
ears...  
eyes...  
No, it wasn't a pretty picture, he felt guilty of having turned his face to not see what was inside the jumpsuit ...  
and he never knew ... because he refused to see, he didn't want that image to be his last memory of Kimi ...  
But when arriving at the hospital, and they described to him what happened, he could only be grateful to his cowardice ...

It looked like Kimi's body was completly broken, the boy was a bag of bones stuck together only by his clothes, at least that's what he imagined when he saw the x-rays.

And now, well, now Kimi have to live with it.

While his help was still enough, he did everything possible within his specialty to help Kimi, but he was aware that the problem was getting worse and soon only a specialist could do something for the boy.  
And there they were, the doctors had been clear  
... surgery ...  
It isn't a high risk surgery, but didn't make it any less disturbing.

The doctor himself when the surgery was over, came to speak with him, and had given him news that he didn't like.  
In other words they had to be attentive, always making a series of specific exercises, always alert to any unusual symptoms, and especially attentive to the sensitivity of Kimi's legs, the doctor had been clear.

\- I recommend that he don't race anymore.

\- What are the risks if he continues?

\- This is what we don't know, a hit can be enough to irreversibly affect his spine, a hit and he can get paralytic.

\- Can or will?

\- He can ... it isn't a certainty, that is the risk ... it doesn't necessary to be within a car, he can fall in a wrong position ...

\- I understand, and even agree with you. But it will not stop him, he will only consider if you are sure.

\- It is a recommendation.

\- And you said it to him.

\- I will inform him as soon as he wakes up.

\- Thanks for everything.

\- I'm just doing my job.

Arnall wanted to see the good side of things, he really wanted to, but every time he remembered Kimi's career , he felt as if something had been taken away from the boy, as if fate didn't wanted he to be greater than he already is, as if every time he tried something greater, fate appeared and took away his chances.  
And this time the blow was hard.  
He had no doubt that Kimi would return to race, and probably after he leave the F1 he will return to the rally, but would he be the same, he would have another chance?

Arnall had his fears, sometimes he felt as if theirs long partnership is about to end ...  
Sometimes he felt as if the world wanted to warn Kimi, saying, "stop, stop it now".  
And he had this desire, the urge to grab the boy by the shoulders and scream

"STOP IT!"  
"RETIRE!"  
"PLEASE DONT KILL YOURSELF!"

But in the end, every time the life beat Kimi, and put him on the floor ... every single time that he saw the boy rebuild himself again with the same face like if nothing happened ... it make he felt weak for doubting him...

If Kimi didn't give up, I won't give up too ...

He already knew where he would be in the next 2, 5 or 10 years, it would be next to Kimi, seeing he stand up, making a shadow so the young man knew he was not alone, being it good or not, wise or mad, he would support Kimi's decision.


	28. Hamilton - part 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the first chapter in which I had help from a beta-reader ... I'll post the next chapter tomorrow. Hope you enjoy ... XD

 

Hamilton saw Sebastian alone, and that was a really strange thing.  
He kind of become accustomed to see the german together with the finn ...

Of course they all know by now that Raikkonen wasn't gonna to be with them, and for all he could see everyone appeared to be in the finn's side, but it was strange not to see the man there with them.  
Hamilton never tried to hide that he like the finn, the guy was cool...really cool...

But it wasn't only he that was missing the guy, the press was crazy, the Lotus team was trying to dissapear, and Vettel was ... well ... he definitely wasn't in his best moody ...

If the finn absence at least diminished the german results, Hamilton would be there in the hospital the next day with flowers, cakes and would even kiss Raikkonen ... the punch that he would recieve would be worth it ...  
But the thing is that Vettel, despite the fact that he was visible sad when he had been alone, didn't have his performance affected, far from it, the guy was still unbeatable.

But one thing is certain, Hamilton may not be like Rosberg ...  
... who loves to talk, listen and spread gossip and also interfere in other people lifes ...  
... but he slowly is becoming like him ...  
Anyway, this new ability that his teammate helped him to discover, that helped him to be unashamed to the point of bringing Roscoe with him everywhere and show his love for his dogs, was now helping him to approach Vettel and ask without any shyness or worries, why he is so sad...

\- Hey Vettel!

\- Oh! ... Hi Lewis.

\- Dude you're awesome, but you could slow down a little, so we could at least see you in the race.

\- Hahahaha never!

\- ...

\- ...

\- So, I was gonna to ask if you are alright.

\- I'm, why should I not be?

\- I don't know, I just saw you alone, and you appeared a little sad.

\- It's nothing.

\- Hanna is fine?

\- Yeah.

\- Huuum ... you had a fight with you trainner?

\- No ... I'M F-I-N-E.

Hamilton wasn't buying it, Vettel is fine, thats true, but he wasn't entire happy.  
If this conversation had happened a year or two in the past, he would have probably stopped by now, but now, in the present, he is a new guy ... so he did what Nicole or Rosberg would do ... press where it hurts ...

\- It's Kimi ... don't try to deny it, I know.

\- What?!

If Hamilton knew that saying Raikkonen's name would cause such face, he should have done it sonner, Vettel's face is hilarious, big eyes, open mouth, corner of his eye even trembled, he did hit a nerve.

\- What are you talking about? What do you know?!

\- Wow there man, calm down, you're gonna have a heart attack.

\- Tell me what you know ... now!

That's new, to see Vettel this angry, whatever happened between them it was serious.

\- I know nothing, but for your reaction maybe there is something to know about.

\- No there isn't ... he isn't here.

\- So this is the reason? He was having problems with his back, maybe it's better for his health if he doesn't go racing.

\- I know ...

\- And you can still call him.

\- He doesn't asnwer ...

\- What?!

\- Don't mind ... and I don't care. And you should stay focused on the race and not on my personal life.

\- Hey I just wanted to help. I have ... sorry, I had a long relationship with Nicole, and sometimes she did somet hings that I didn't understand. I keep thinking, what I did wrong, what could I have done ... but in the end, she has just given time to me and her to think, refresh our thoughts ... I don't know what is this thing with you and Kimi, but the guy is so level headed, and calm, he is probably resting, and giving you some time just for yourself.

\- Ok.

\- Just it? I gave you a life lesson and you answer me "ok" ?

\- You're right ... I have two races to win ... I don't have time to worry about him.

\- That's not what I meant ...

\- Thanks Ham! See you in the race, better you will see my back in the race.

And there is nothing for Hamilton to do, but to stay there looking at Vettel's back ...  
He didn't understand those two, and he sometimes doesn't want to, they aren't so complicated when he just knows the basics, but since he saw that fight in the hotel lobby, that have opened to him a entire room of possibilities, and he started to notice things that he didn't before...  
Those two are playing with fire, but he doesn't want to see them get burn... Principally now that he was almost sure that there is something going on ...  
Maybe it would be better if Jenson was the one that saw the fight in the lobby, Jenson would know how to react to Kimi's request, Jenson would know how to talk to Sebastian ... but he?   
He failed to solve his own problems with Nicole...

But like Kimi says, "I don't care, It's not my problem."

He had is own team, race, problems and friendships, he shouldn't waste his time with those two ...

But he cannot help but to want them to find a way to have whatever they have, to be happy, they may be arrogant, rude, and sometimes both of them are assholes, but in Hamilton's opnion they deserve to be happy with the one they love, they deserve to have and maintain what he failed to.

Love?  
Well that word and those two now have a completely different meaning to him.


	29. The incredible Hulk

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for the kudos...  
> And thanks for jennybohopet that is helping me in the grammar part.

 

Vettel was a little furious, and he is a firm believer that it is possible to be only a little furious...  
Of course he was happy with the results, the car is fantastic, the team is incredible, everything worked well, he had no complains... but it didn't mean that everything is alright in every aspect of his life ...

First ... Hanna again, didn't want to join him in the US Grand Prix ...

Second ... Kimi didn't answer his calls ...

He was losing his hope, Hanna probably won't be with him in the last two races, he invited her only because it was polite ...  
and Kimi ...  
he is the reason of his "little furious" condition, of course that his friend was in surgery the first time he called, but then, or better, now, he isn't anymore, and he tried to call, he really tried, five times, five fucking times ...

The first time, nobody answered ... ok  
The second, was the same thing ... ooook  
In the third try, it was Steve who answered and telling him that Kimi couldn't talk at the moment ... is he well?  
The fourth time it was Mark, telling him that he should wait for Kimi to call him ... what?  
And in the fifth and last try, well, nobody care about answer the damn phone!  
Nobody makes him wait ...

So ... he got the right to be upset, mad, furious ... he is worried!

But he is a professional, and like one, he doesn't mix personal life with work, so for more that Kimi is playing with fire and upsetting him, the other drivers, the paddock workers and of course his own team don't deserve his anger ... so he took a deep breath, and concentrate himself in what matters, the race, the win ...

Horner understand him, so, he didn't speak the finn's name, Heikki is smart too, he was there to support him and he know that Heikki would always be on his side, Britta and Rocky duty are to him, and Webber, well, Webber is Webber, he is on his last races and he won't waste his time on him.

But Hamilton, well, Hamilton had to say that fucking name, he had to remind him that he was being ignored, had to remind that he and ... and ... aaaand ... K-I-M-I were in some kind of relationship, dammit Lewis ... why ... he spent so much time, concentration, and focus trying to forget what happened, at least only for this two days, and Hamilton had to bring all those feelings to the surface again...

Vettel knew that Hamilton didn't do it on purpose to hurt him, but it didn't help him either, so he have to think about something else, because thinking about Kimi hurts, and worse than hurt, it makes him mad, angry, not at himself, but at Kimi, and that was one of the reasons why they are apart now, his inability to control his primal instincts when it came to Kimi.

That was when he saw Nico, the guy always smilling, and eating bananas like a madman ... and he remembered that he had saw a interview with Nico where he said that he didn't talk a lot to him, because he is always with Kimi ... so he thought ... maybe ... just maybe, it would be good talk to someone of his age that is also german and easygoing like Nico, the incredible Hulk...  
Hehehe, that nickname is amazing...

.  
.  
.

\- Hey, How are you? Fourth in the grid, congratulations!

Hulkenberg was in shock, Vettel was all smiles and was talking to him ...  
ok ...  
It's not like the fellow german didn't talk to him at all, it's just that he wasn't Raikkonen, well, nobody is Raikkonen ... and Vettel spend most of his time with the finn, so even if Raikkonen wasn't there, he didn't think about the possibility of Vettel talking to him ...

\- Thanks! The difficulty will be to maintain the position.

\- Relax, I can assure you that if you can do that with a Sauber, when you get a better car you would smash the older guys.

\- That's the point, when will I get a better a car? The way the things are, it's becoming a lost cause.

\- Sorry man, it sucks.

The fact was that Vettel is a nice guy, he may be super occupied but he pays attention to you if you have something usefull to say, if it's not bullshit, he would stop the time just to listen to you...  
Now he understand how Raikkonen must feel, it's nice have Vettel's attention to you.  
He got even more surprised when Vettel invited him to a dinner saying that they should talk more.

So they meet later, Hulk knew that he couldn't stay till later since the race is the next day, but he got a little dissapointed that it was in the hotel restaurant, and not in someplace different, but who was he to complain.

He arrived first, and the time he had to spend waiting for Vettel, made him think that he was forgotten, he was almost returning to his hotel room when Vettel appeared.

The begining of their dinner went pretty well, but everytime he looked to the dinner table he felt sorry for themselves, they had to eat so little ... ok... maybe Vettel didn't need to eat so little but he ... he didn't had a choice ...  
But food apart, their conversation was pretty normal, german things, football, wich was good since it is so difficult to talk about football with the other drivers, but then the conversation got weird, mainly because of Vettel.

\- So ... you got a girlfriend?

\- Yeah.

\- I don't see her here frequently

\- She isn't a fan of races.

\- I understand your situation, Hanna isn't much of a fan of F1 too.

\- Well, we aren't in the best of moments, so she said that we should spend some time apart...

\- REALLY?!

\- Wow dude, you don't need to yell.

\- My bad ... she said that to you? You won't believe it, but I had the same talk.

\- Hanna want some time apart? But you two are like Homer and Marge!

\- Homer and Marge? That is a bad example.

\- Sorry "my bad"

\- Son of bitch, okay, I deserve that.

\- But you and Hanna are okay?

\- What? Hanna? Of course.

\- But you said that she asked for a time apart.

Hulk could see Vettel losing colour, apparently he had listened or seen something that he shouldn't have.

\- Forget what I said.

\- Now you got me curious, it isn't Hanna ? who is it?

\- Look, it's better you stay away from my personal life.

\- It's was you who started asking about mine.

And then Vettel stopped and decided that his food was more interesting than he.  
Okay he got that he was dabbling into Vettel's life and/or problems, but it was the man in front of him that started this, he should be prepared to have questions being directed to him too.  
But Vettel appeared to be thinking about something, Hulk thought that maybe the dinner was over, or that he would know who it was, but never in his life he thought that...

\- I don't know what I have done, do you understand?

\- No I don't.

\- You see, look at you, then look at me ... I'm not handsome.

"Ok ... that doesn't make any sense ... when did beauty get in the conversation? When did my beauty become a topic? Better try to end this"

\- It's not beauty, she loves you for what you are.

\- And I'm an asshole.

\- You aren't making sense, I don't know Hanna very well, but for all I saw, you treat her like a princess...

\- You don't get it.

\- So stop telling me about it.

And finally Vettel got the message, it's not like he didn't want to know, but it appeared that Vettel didn't want him to know, so it was better if Vettel shuts up, so he won't become curious.  
Apparently his direct yet polite way to tell Vettel to stop talking was enough, that made the dinner return enjoyable.

But the surprise of the night was when they were returning to their rooms, Vettel for no reason at all, grabbed his head and kissed him...  
Hulk's first reaction was shock...  
Then he was furious...

_"What the hell man!"_

He grabbed Vettel's shoulders and pushed him away with all his strenght, making the fellow german almost fell out on the ground...  
But more than the kiss itself, what really got him surprised was the look on Vettel's face, it was like he was being judged for refusing him ... This is weird ...

\- Look man, I don't have anything against you, and I understand you're passing through some difficult times in your love life, so I will ignore what happened right now, but you better keep your mouth away from mine.

He could see that Vettel was angry, not ashamed, but angry ... what the hell ... he was the one that should be angry.

\- You're like him, giving me attention, and then don't want the attention back!

\- Like who? And this isn't attention, ok!

Vettel finally appeared to noticed what was happening, the implications and all, at least that is what he thought when he saw Vettel's eyes almost fall out of his face.

\- I'm sorry, I'm so sorry, It must be the wine ... I didn't want to kiss you, it's because Hanna is never here, you understand me?

\- Yeah I understand, but I don't go grabbing random drivers just because my girlfriend isn't here.

\- Sorry, but we are good?

\- We are, but you are lucky, if it was DiResta for example, he would screw you up, and if it was Sutil, well ... you would be dead.

\- I know, I think I'm just lucky it was you.

\- Don't get me wrong, if you do that again, I ... I probably won't be driving in F1 anymore, so you got a picture of what I would do, don't you?

\- Yes.

\- Good...see you in the drivers parade.

Hulk is comprehensive, Vettel is a cool guy, multiple times champion, that is only going through a difficult period, ok, but he didn't like the kiss ...  
come on he is a dude ...  
but he understood the circunstances.  
So he will do what he think is right, forget what happened, and move on.

By the end of the week he saw that was a good decision, Vettel came to talk to him during the drivers parade, looking a little afraid, or at least that was what Hulk thought ...

But when he acted like nothing had happened, Vettel started to become relaxed, talktive and funny again, the Vettel that his country admired, the idol of small german kids, just some, a part of the kids loves him and well almost the entire world seems to like The Iceman ...

Well maybe that was the reason why Vettel was so strange saturday night ...  
Vettel and Raikkonen are quite a pair ...

He found Raikkonen amazing, he wanted to be like him sometimes, to say what he wants, do what he wants, but he doesn't have the powerfull name to do it without a care in the future ...

Anyway, maybe it's better that the season is ending, he could see that despite the fantastic performance in the race track, the completly domination of Vettel and RBR, others things are affecting the champion, you had to be blind to don't see it ...  
At every opportunity he had to mention that he has a girlfriend, that he loves her, that she loves him, that she was the woman of his life ... but at the same time he attached himself to that trainner like if the guy was a teddy bear ... he smiled and almost shining everytime Raikkonen's name was mentioned and well was practically attached to the hip with the finn ...  
But all of that was something that were already there and were only gradually becoming more constant, and in greater and greater proportions ...  
What was noticeably different was the change in his behavior, it was like this year Vettel decided that the world would see who he really is, how competitive, pity and ruthless he could be.

It is clear that these behaviors were not unique to Vettel and Vettel himself had already shown this previously, Chandhok was proof, Webber even more, and well 2010 was there for that.

But somehow it was different, in the last five or four races, it was very different...

He didn't know what or who was causing it to Vettel, or maybe it was a sum of factors, but the thing is that Vettel had small outbreaks of aggression, most of the drivers and he believed that the workers inside the RBR didn't noticed it, but the ones more close to Vettel should have seen it.  
Just one dinner and little liberty and Vettel had a strange behaviour with him, and he wasn't thinking about the kiss, he was thinking about the eyes, Vettel's eyes, that was scare, he felt sorry for Mark, and it make him think...

What about Raikkonen? Was Vettel like that with him?

Hulk decided that for more that not only him, but the other drivers as well, had seen their share of friendship moments from those two, some of those moments a little over the friendship pattern ... he couldn't see Vettel doing something like that to Raikkonen, the finn would not let something like this happen...

It was better to forget, he had some important things to solve, like find a team, let those two handle themselves ... he was more than satisfied to just talk to them when the opportunity arrive and what happens between them outside the race track isn't his business.

  
It was better this way ... That was how he kept his idols when he got in the sport.


	30. Raikkonen - part 3

It was a long week ... a very, boring long week ... after the surgery he did almost nothing at all, nothing except eat and lay on his bed ... but the doctor said that is necessary his back needs to stay still for a time because of the procedure they did, something with a complicated name that he didn't bother to remember it.

So you could say that most of the blame could go to his back, he had to lie face down to sleep because he couldn't put weight on his back, stand up was a painfull and difficult process, he needed his brother for almost everything ... it was pathetic, at least the kids knew about his problem and were careful while approaching him ...

"Don't jump on your uncle's bed"

His brother had said, and well, he loves his newphews, everytime his brother is away he got the kids bringing something nice for them to eat, they even got the innocent face trained in case they're found out...

But what is important is he was glad, his brother presence made him feel better, soon he would start the new exercices and right now he just wanted a familiar and loved companion ...

It's not like he didn't appreciated Mark and Steve had done, but they mean F1 and that means work, and right now he just wants to relax ...

Then there was Seb ... he knew that Seb had tried to talk to him several times, but right now he needs to regain control of his health, of his life and particularly his role in theirs relationship, Seb has to know that he will call when he is ready and not when Seb wants him to ... It pains him to do it, Seb didn't deserve it, but he also didn't deserve what Seb was doing to him, for now it's ok, but he could see that things were gradually getting worse, he had to stop it, he had to think that it was for the best ... so he kept ignoring the calls hoping that when he calls Seb, everything will be fine between them.

But then the kids had turned the TV on saturday and there was Seb with Hulkenberg, and they appeared to be so well, all smiles, and pats on the back, Seb didn't do it to anyone that wasn't Hamilton, Button or part of RBR crew ...

And if Hulkenberg wasn't part of that group, why Seb was being so friendly with him?

Maybe it was the time apart, maybe it was his solitude, he didn't know, but he started to felt a little self concious...

Hulkenberg has got the same age as Seb,hasn't he?

Nico is young, more athletic than him, more beautiful than him ... and he was friendly, and didn't have marks of age on his face, didn't have his body scarred ... he knows that they are just talking and talking means talk, nothing more, nothing less, but his imagination was running free ...

Sebastian had Hanna so why would he try something with him. Then there's Huovinen who was something else when you talk about beauty, and Button and Hamilton ... so who was he?

Just and old and crippled man ... so he grabbed the control and turned the TV off, the kids complained but his brother quickly intervened telling them that he needed a time alone...

Of course his own brother didn't listen to his own words, and soon returned.

\- You are upset about the german kid?

\- No.

\- I don't know your problem, if you miss him, call him, talk to him, it will make you feel better.

\- I won't call him, and this conversation is over.

\- Why are you so sad about? I'm your brother, you can talk to me.

\- It's ... I need to impose myself, he won't tell me when to call him, I'm the one who should decide.

\- What you are doing isn't imposing to yourself, it's acting like a child. You won't call him, then you see something and get upset about it, and start to frown your face ... like your doing right now.

\- You don't get it ...

\- Oh dear brother, I get it ... I don't like the idea of you being with another man, but if there will be one, I prefer Sebastian than any other of your strange friends.

\- What ?!?

\- I'm not blind, I see the looks, the smiles, the touches, I don't need to see everything to get the picture.

\- By Odin's beard, mother know it too!?

\- She was the first to notice it, probably before you even realise.

\- So maybe you know what I'm feeling...

\- Yeah I know, and if I remember clearly I have seen similar behaviour from you ... you know that not talking to him, won't solve your problems, don't you? It probably only makes it worse, the boy's nature, is like of our father, if you are dear to him, if he thinks that you belong to him, what you are doing now will be interpreted like a challenge to his authority, and when he sees you again, he will put you in your place ...

\- He won't ...

\- He will, and I know you brother, as soon as he stands up against you and raises his voice you will cower and obey.

\- You underestimate me.

\- I don't ... I know you don't get bullshit from anyone, but, if is someone is close and dear to you, well, you are screwed.

\- Thanks for nothing ... now that you've given me your shit support, leave me feeling worse than I was already, you can leave, close the door and leave me alone.

\- Ok ... But Kimi, for most faults that he has, he still loves you, and if you are in trouble because of your appearance, don't worry, you got all the family beauty ... you may lost something of the masculine part, but beauty's there.

\- How did you know?

\- You keep moving your hand over the scars ... you're very obvious sometimes.

Maybe his brother was right, maybe not, the thing is that he wasn't feeling secure of looks right now, neither of his physical.

While he tried to take a nap he thought about what his brother had said...  
his father was really a very quiet man, but he also was a very troublesome child, and when he started to get into adolescence, he believed that the old man got scared of his little boy alone in the world, so then the screams started

... if he did something wrong, soon came a yell...   
... if he hurt himself , instead of a "are you okay?" or "are you hurt?" he would listen to his father's yells, it was the way that his father showed his worry...

... and he hated that, he couldn't simply yell back, it's his father, he had to show respect to the man who did so much for him, but he remembers every verbal match, every scream directed at him, especially during his time in the army and in his McLaren years ... he could be angry and even respond to a surgeant or to a crew member, but he couldn't be angry with his father, every time the man lost control, every time his father grabbed his shoulders, shook him, and yell at his face, he did it out of worry, just like Sebastian.

He didn't like that, but he didn't see it as something wrong ... and since it was almost always people who care about him that yelled at him, he never in his entire life accepted that someone with whom he had no feeling or intimacy could yell at him, only the ones who matter can, the others should not dare.

But it didn't make him like yells, the things could be solved in a more controled way. If he can, why the others can't?  
His problem with Sebastian wasn't the yell, it never was, that was what his brother didn't know, neither does he want him to know.

His brother didn't know about everything, doesn't need to know ... It isn't just the yelling that made him decide to stay away from Sebastian, it was the fear of not being listened to ...

Sebastian needed to see that no means no, that he also had a say in this ... and if Sebastian gets angry with him, it's okay, he will be prepared to it, he was ready for anything that Sebastian will throw at him, and he will stand his ground, first by not calling ,neither looking out for him, he would stay there, doing his job, his exercises, his preparations.

Sebastian should be the one to look for him, to go to him, to knock at his door and ask for permission to get in ... that is the only way he thought to show not only to Seb but to himself that he still had some control in that strange relationship of them.


	31. Webber - part 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's time to say goodbye to Webber!  
> PS: I don't blame the Tifosi and like them, they're very pasionate.  
> Vettel and Raikkonen will meet again ... just wait a little longer. XD

 

It's his last race, his big goodbye ...  
Of course he wanted to win, who doesn't?  
But in the end he was happy with the second place, he could care less about the rules, about the politics, he was free ... and he loved it ... for the first time in years he felt like the team cared about him, that he mattered to them, that he was more than the second driver...

He raced for fun, he raced to say goodbye, and he even decided to do something different taking his helmet off to feel the wind, he was happy with himself, he may not take all the decisions he wanted, but he felt realizado.  
He would leave with good memories, but won't miss it ...

He celebrated with all he got, fuck the rules!   
He was totally, completely and fully happy!

He participated in the festivities, the celebrations, the farewell to V8 engines ... all he was entitled.  
Later he met with Vettel who was excited about another season win ... but if he were the man who won the season with such domination he would be even more excited.

But he understands Vettel's speech, every dominance one day comes to an end, and with the big change of rules next year is more than understandable that the german is viewing the end of an era.

But more than that, had yet another thing about Vettel ... Raikkonen.

Raikkonen that will be Fernando's future teammate ... Webber knows and gets along very well with Fernando and he knew that the Spaniard's problem wasn't with Raikkonen but with Montezemolo.

He knew Fernando would do anything to survive and come out on top of all this Ferrari bullshit and that meant confronting and defeating Raikkonen. To Webber, Fernando had a large advantage, he was physically superior and his passion led him towards victory and overcoming challenges. .. his biggest opponent was the almighty Montezemolo and Vettel.

And for more that he didn't like Vettel, he still didn't want his bad, especially if it would affect other people more than Vettel himself

Webber knew about the situation at Ferrari, Fernando told him how the environment was nasty, a fight for power ... and well Montezemolo won't hesitate to use Raikkonen to destabilize Vettel, it was obvious ... and before anyone could tell him he was overreacting, that there was no way to Montezemolo know about something, that it was impossible because there was no evidence of anything other than friendship between the two drivers, Webber would argue with conviction that it was not necessary photos or threats ... he did not know Raikkonen, but he knew Vettel, despite being an arduous task, if you let the german angry you will have everything you need for a bomb.

And well, he is not an expert in human behavior, but he could see that Raikkonen was a way of Vettel's emotions escape, either for good, or for evil ... and worse, Huovinen and Horner were also involved, in short, Montezemolo just need to hit Raikkonen and he will drop two pillars of RBR.

The actions were already occurring, those boos against Vettel could have started because of the Multi-21, but later it clearly had a finger from the Tifosi ... but Webber believed that Montezemolo had been disappointed with the results, Vettel wasn't affected by the boos, and RBR corrected the few problems the car had ...

But if he saw a weapon ready for use in the future, he was sure that Ferrari president also saw it ...  
And Fernando ... Fernando will do what he needs to not get stuck in the rubble of Ferrari and RBR ...

And that's why, despite as much as he and RBR's golden boy did not get along, and that was very far from being friends or even colleagues, he couldn't accept and even hate the political game of F1 that was happening right now, and for all those who said that only Fernando was experiencing pressure for not have been successful, were completely blind, more than Fernado itself, who was under pressure for results was Montezemolo, and a man like him, under pressure, would do anything ... and Vettel did not deserve it, much less Raikkonen.

With that he approached Vettel, and after a conversation without rancor, just remembering the good times, and yes, there were good times, and after a time, he decided to be serious with the boy.

\- You have to stay away from him.

\- What?

\- Stay away from Raikkonen.

\- Okay, this is what you wanted right from the beginning, could not only stay in a lively conversation, no, you had to screw it up, you had to opine... Raikkonen is none of your business.

\- I don't care for you, but he does not deserve to suffer for your cause. If you really like him, stay away from him.

\- Suffer for my sake? And I? Everyone is on his side, care about him, he is never wrong...

\- I knew it would upset you, and I can only tell you that I am not the only one who knows it, then cool off and think about what I said ... I know how much Raikkonen means to you, then stay away from him.

Webber didn't let Vettel finish, he turned and went his way, three more days and bye RBR, welcome Porsche ...  
He did what he thought he should do, one last advice, a good farewell, and leave with fond memories, if Vettel would hear him or not, only time would tell.

He really thought he would know about something during the FIA Gala prom, but nothing, Vettel appeared without Hanna, and Raikkonen was not there despite being one of the nominees and well, RBR and Vettel are past.

Endurance is the present, and though he find all that event exaggerated, he can at least take the opportunity to talk to Fernando and Robert.

Fernando seemed pleased with the possibilities of the new car, and the possibilities of the future itself, Webber could see his eyes shine when speaking about Audi's car for the WEC... Robert was the joy in person, another incredible example of overcoming, he seemed to have left F1 in the past because he spoke with such passion about the WRC, it looks like he had found what he needs in what he called the most difficult and dangerous category of motorsport.

\- You guys are spoiled, the car is super safe if you err there is area to escape so huge that a helicopter could land in there ... in the rally if you miss or commit a mistake, you fall into a ditch, hit a tree, or a cow or a house, even people. But I can tell you, when you finish a stage, it gives you a unique feeling.

\- I prefer the G-force, and the brakes. They can take everything away from F1, but do not take that braking.

Webber really liked that atmosphere, he liked so much that he even tried to go to Ferrari just to be Fernando's teammate, but it was not possible, apparently he was too old ... ironic.

But suddenly Webber felt the need to stretch his legs, and it was then that he could hear Vettel on the phone, he didn't want to intrude, but they were in a public space, if Vettel wanted privacy, he should have gone elsewhere.

\- Can I visit you after the end of the festivities?

\- I understand. I saw what you told me. Sorry.

\- I. .. I don't know what came over me, I'm trying to get better, I swear.

\- Yes .. you won't need to release the dogs on me, I'll take a tranquilizer before meet you...

\- Hehehehe ... stop it.

\- Okay .. to you too.

Webber came to think with all the snippets of conversation that he took, that Vettel was talking to Hanna, but by the end of the conversation it was clear that she isn't the one who was speaking with the german.

\- Christian asked about you.

\- Yes, I will tell him.

\- And Kimi ... I love you ....

\- Errrrhmm, I'll take that as a " me too " .... hehehehe ... I gotta get back. Goodbye.

Vettel crashed into him on his way back , and if he realized that he was listening to everything , he didn't showed it, he only gave a light smile and a headed toward his desk .

Webber can see and hear that Vettel ignored his warning , a shame.   
Next year his goal is to take Porsche to the podium , and as far the F1 goes , maybe once in a while he did could read something, and of course, help Ricciardo if the boy asks for it.

He really didn't want Ricciardo stay in the same situation as he, so he told the kid

" Do not fear or respect Vettel just because he is the defending champion , get out there and show who came , beat him in every way , if you doubt even if only for a second , he will have won . "

We would watch Fernando when he have time, and in the dispute within Ferrari , he cheered for him, he hoped that Fernando could get another title before retiring from F1 , the Spanish deserved it.  
What about Raikkonen, well, the man should know what he is getting into, knowing Vettel the way he knows ...

But it was like he told himself ...  
What happens in F1, RBR or even with Vettel ...  
Aren't his problems anymore.


	32. Vettel - part 2

It's over!

That was what Vettel thought, finally it ended, not that he wasn't liking his winning sequence, he was loving it, but this year have been tiresome... and he has other things to do, namely Hanna and Kimi.

But he did go to all parties, it was nice, and he even say goodbye to the one who battled during all his titles, the Renault V8 ... for four times they together have been champions ... it's nostalgic.

Heikki was all smiles and photos, saying that the employees that aren't there would like a photo or a video of the moment ... and Vettel had to agreed.

They partied in Sao Paulo, then they had a particular party in the RedBull complex, and Heikki was happy as ever, he drank, he joked, he sang ...   
Vettel never told him, but Heikki was terrible at singing ... the man did not have the pace, he sucks ... but he was giving all of his attention to him, and Vettel loves being the one getting attention.

Christian was another one that was excited in excess, he said he had to enjoy it now because later he will have 2014 to plan, and his wife and his daughter ... Made perfect sense.  
But most surprising was Webber, they could live peacefully, but they never got along, they were too competitive for that, but maybe it was because he is leaving F1 and it's all over, that made Webber talk to him, and he had to admit that they had a very good conversation ... until of course, Webber meddle in his life ...

What was so interesting in his life that everyone had to opine!

And Webber had dared to tell him to get away from Kimi ... as if that was necessary, Kimi moved away from him, not only Kimi, Hanna also didn't had the trouble to even call, but at least she answered the phone.  
Whatever, Webber had nothing to do with it, and he knew what to do to fix things, so fuck Webber and his inconvenience, he had a party to enjoy and a Heikki excited to make him laugh and forget his problems.

.  
.  
.

The next day, Vettel was still in bed when Heikki entered unannounced in his room ...

What these Finns have against knocking?  
Stop thinking in Finnish ...

\- So...

\- So that I came to say goodbye.

\- You won't go to the other parties?

\- I can't, and even if I can, I don't see a reason to go, the only parties left are for the drivers, I'm not a driver.

\- But you're one of the reasons of my sucess.

\- I'm happy that you think it that way, but even so, I won't go.

\- I will be alone in there.

\- You will have Adrian and Christian there with you.

\- But I won't have ...

\- He won't go, you know that. But you can still go home and talk to Hanna, maybe she will go with you. If I was her, I would go.

\- Thanks Heikki.

And he hugged Heikki with all of his strenght, he loves to hug Heikki, the guy is so big and strong, he felt a sense of security and trust with Heikki totally different from what he felt with Tommi.

Heikki was one of your best choices ...

So he did what Heikki suggested, he came back home since he just had four days before the Autosports and then the FIA gala, but he will make it count.

He saw his parents, ate his home food again, his momma food, the best in the world, and he ate without the worry of being much heavier in the next day.  
He played with his brother, and share a silence with his father, it was perfect... it was what he needed ... peace.

Then came the harder part, visit Hanna.  
And she ,like always, greeted him with a big smile, a delicious hug and a soft kiss.  
Told all the news to him, and let him vent, only listening, never interrupting.

They went out to dinner, he bought gifts for her, as she spoke of plans for the future ...  
What were these plans, he didn't know, he kind of got lost in his own thoughts.  
At dawn of the next day, he made the invitation again.

\- You will come with me in the Autosport awards, isn't ?

And she looked away as she answered.

\- I have other plans Seb, you didn't hear me? I'm visiting my parents, I need to be prepared for Christmas, prepared for ... other things.

\- But it's just one day.

\- One less day with my family.

\- And in the FIA gala?

\- I told you I will not go. I don't have whom to talk. Britta will not go, Heikki too, I will be alone there.

\- But I will be there ... with you.

\- No you won't, you will have interviews, receive awards, will be stopped every five minutes ... and when it isn't it, you will be with him.

\- He?

\- Raikkonen!

\- Oh ..

\- You didn't even try to deny.

\- He will not be there.

\- And I will not be there too. I have meeting with my friends.

\- But ...

Her gaze stopped him, he decided to keep quiet and avoid a discussion that would not lead to anything.

He swallowed the urge to say she was being irrational, he said that he loves her and wants her company, and smiled, said he understood and that all was well.  
The rest of the day was very nice since both of them let the reason behind it drop.

In the night while she arranged something in the kitchen, he felt his cellphone vibrate, he felt his chest grown with hapiness ...

_"Kimi!"_

But when he looked it was a message from a number he didn't know, he almost put the phone back on his bolso, but then why not see the message?   
And it was worth, because the message was simply, direct and clear, like a certain someone.

" Sorry.  
Kids broke my phone.  
Will call when fixed.  
Bye ;) "

He read and read the message, thinking about what to do, and after a while decided to send a message ...

And he waited for an answer that didn't come ... so he sent another message ... and then, even if they say it's desperation on his part, he called and let the phone ring, it was when he decided to leave a message.

\- Kimi, call me ... or at least answer me. I ... we need to talk ...

Thats when he saw Hanna standing holding two plates with pie for them, looking at him with a look of indignation.  
He hung up the phone and called her to sit near him ... they seemed to still understand each other since he said nothing and she asked nothing...

Vettel could say that despite a disagreement or other, his visit was great.

He still got another half day with Hanna before he go to the prizes delivery.

There he noticed how it would go at FIA gala, for him it was the same, just more extravagant.  
And there he did one of the things he does better, he talked and talked, and complained about the changes and did some imitations, some deliberate ... he wanted to provoke.

The good thing was talking to Christian about matters that weren't formula 1, and even advices his boss gave to him.

\- You know how women are, they're complicated. Try to remember something you have done to annoy her.

\- But I didn't do anything!

\- You can be sure that you did something, even if you have not noticed.

\- Well ...

\- But don't worry, it happens. You are seeing my wife here?

\- No ... but ...

\- No buts, stop dwelling on this, and enjoy the moment.

Vettel liked to hear what Christian had to say, he didn't always agree, but Christian didn't talk nonsense , he said what had to be said , and Vettel always liked people like that.

Speaking of people like that, in the next day, without a reason, simply letting himself be guided by the will and spontaneity, he picked up his phone and started to call everyone he knows that could help him find out where Kimi is, they would talk , he woke up feeling that this was what he has to do .

After a few calls and several conflicting information , Vettel decided to appeal, he called Kovalainen who in turn called Toni who called Kimi's mother.  
And it was in that cordless phone he found that Kimi was at his home in Switzerland

Vettel packed up, grabbed the tickets and still found time to call Hanna, who didn't answer, but at least sent him a message saying she was with her parents and was waiting for him for Christmas.

He gathered all his courage and determination and was ready to settle what he and Kimi had.


	33. Feuer und Wasser - part 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And they finally meet again...

 

When Vettel arrived ,he could see in the horizon Kimi playing with his nephews ... he could see a big smile on Kimi's face, he could not only see but feel the happiness... and it made him feel warm inside, but at the same time he felt guilt, in the last two months when he and Kimi were alone, Kimi didn't have that beautiful smile anymore.

Vettel remembers when they first met, like Kimi had once said:

_"I liked him since the first time I saw him"._

Kimi was all smiles, he was always present, he was there for him wherever he needed him, and it have been this way until at some point it become what it is now.

Vettel knows that he is partly the one to blame...  
So he decided to stay there, away, looking at that moment, a show of happiness, smiles and proudness that not so long ago were directed to him.

He really wanted to be there, to be part of it...

But part of him thought that maybe what he is seeing now is the universe telling him to stay away like Webber had said...   
He is only making things worse...  
Maybe that's why Kimi didn't called him, or answered his calls...

But then, Kimi looked at him, and that smile continued on his face, that smile was for him ... because he was there ... it could only be that ... but he still didn't found the courage to get closer.  
But it was inevitable, Kimi said something to the kids that runned away and he stood there, looking at him, kind of awaiting for him to do something.

They stood there for a while, until Vettel decided to go to Kimi.  
Vettel got closer and closer, until they're face to face, and he could feel Kimi's breathing.

\- You didn't call neither answered my calls.

\- I'm fine...thank you for asking.

\- I missed you in the races...and I was worried, you left me out of everything, you never have done that before.

\- I needed time for myself. I needed to understand what is happening.

\- And I'm part of what is happening. Don't you think that I deserve to be here with you to help you understand?

\- I'm not only talking about us, I'm talking about my body, my physical problems. Not everything I do is about you.

And there it was, no smiles, no happiness, Kimi looked sad. Maybe it's his fault, maybe he shouldn't have come.  
But it was like Kimi could hear his thoughts, because soon he answer.

\- It's not you. There is a lot of things happening, and I understand that you want to stay by my side, but you have your life,what made everything work between us till now was our ability to separete things, we don't fight the each other's fights, we don't interfere, and now we are doing the opposite. Worse than that, you are doing it, more and more, you're taking control, and I can't deal with it.

\- Why you didn't tell me?

\- That's the thing Seb ... we didn't need to tell each other, we simply knew, but now it's different. I was just trying to figure out what happened ...

And what made everything worse is that he knows that Kimi is right, he had come there not worried, but furious because he was being ignored.  
He didn't come to ask how Kimi was, he came to demand explanations.

_"Don't say Sorry. You don't apologise, you demand apologies"_

That was what Kimi always said to him, but did Kimi know that one day it would be applied to him?

\- ... while of course I was stuck on that bed ... do you have a idea of how terrible the daytime tv can be?

And there's the smile again, big, showing all teeth.

\- No, and I don't think I want to know.

\- ... As for the company, I got Rami and the kids. They made me company, distracted me.

\- But I wanted to be there with you during the surgery...

\- And I appreciate your willingness ... but ... no.

That was a typical Kimi response ... right to the point ... he felt the need to disagree, but if he can ignore certains needs with Hanna, he can very well do it with Kimi, he had to if he wanted Kimi to stay there by his side.  
He knows that he always had Kimi completely and total, his needs, his problems, he didn't have to ask, Kimi always knew, but when he started to demand, Kimi stopped being the Kimi he knew...   
He could see that this was the problem, and he believed that Kimi also saw that.

Deep down he knew the reason of the unanswered calls.

Space, that was what they need, because for a reason that he didn't know yet, he was always angry, and he is throwing his frustations on Kimi, and Kimi ... well ...  
Kimi would do what he wanted but that wasn't his Kimi, his Kimi as the one that would try something new, risky, but he would laugh after everything and not trying to reassure him, his Kimi would put him on the ground just to remember him that he was the one allowing it to happen..  
Not the one that would take it and stay quiet...  
And he felt terrible about it... how the things could get so wrong in a short time span.

\- I'm sorry...

\- What?! ... It's just tv, you don't have to feel guilty for bad tv.

But for God sake, Kimi has to provoke him, has to turn their eyes ... he is trying to be understanding.

\- That isn't what I'm talking about!

\- Oh. About that...

\- ...

Kimi got a serious face, in fact he appeared to be very upset.

\- Stop with this sorry thing right now, I'm full of it, and don't look at me like that, you heard it right, all the time the same talk, "I'm sorry" "I didn't mean it" "I lost control" ... you're a F1 driver you don't simply lose control.

\- I know, it just that I'm passing a difficult time, I wish you would understand...

\- Difficult? Difficult in what? Winning everything?

\- You too?! I should not be blamed for the fact that I'm better than any of you.

Kimi took a deep breath, and then continued.

\- I'm only saying that I understand the pressure that is upon you, I know that the year wasn't easy, but I wasn't having a walk on the beach either. And you seemed to forget that.

\- I didn't forget, I was worried about you, but you left me out.

\- You didn't appeared to be sad or feeling alone, since you were always close to Hulkenberg or to that reporter.

\- You are kidding me ... you are jealous?!

\- I'm not!

\- My God, you are! You know that I have other friends too, I have to talk to other people...

\- Stop it, you're twisting everything I said .

\- And who taught me that?

\- Marko, F1, life? Who knows ... but it certainly wasn't me.

Ok ... check mate ... what else could he possibly answer to that.  
But then Kimi put his hand on his shoulder and gave him a shy smile...

\- Look I will be back inside the house, and you are invited to go with me and have a lunch with my brother and the kids, but you won't enter my house with your mind full of ... whatever is bothering you ... so talk, let it go, say what you got to say.

\- You will send me away if I do it.

\- Maybe ... but at least you will be satisfied, and probably will feel lighter.

But he didn't have the courage, he knew that he had to do it, but he was waiting for a Kimi that would confront him, not one that expecting just him to do that.

And the fear of something going wrong, and if it offends Kimi irreversibly?  
What would he do?

\- I don't have all day ... and look ... after everything I am still here, aren't I? So no matter what you say, I will still be here. So talk.

He could not hold it anymore, he grabbed Kimi's arms, pulling him close...  
He could see Kimi's eyes wide open, but then returning to normal, looking boring at him.

\- Nobody really respect my achievements, all the time I keep listening to everyone say that it was the car, ALWAYS THE CAR! EVERYONE JUDGES THAT ALONSO, HAMILTON AND YOU ARE BETTER THAN ME!  
SAYING THEY WILL ONLY BELIEVE IN MY SUPERIORITY, IN HOW GOOD I AM, WHEN I'M COMPETING AGAINST A GREAT PILOT IN A EQUAL OR WORSE CAR ...

\- I respect you...

\- NOBODY QUESTIONED ALONSO! NOBODY QUESTIONED MICHAEL...

\- ...

\- AND THE FUCKING GREAT ALONSO JUST Won WITH RENAULT, EVERYBODY SEEMS TO FORGET ABOUT THE CRASHGATE...

\- ...

\- AND MICHAEL, HE DOMINATED EVERYONE IN A FERRARI, JUST WITH THE FERRARI! BUT HE IS GREATEST, NO THE CAR ... WHY THEY DON'T SEE THAT THE CAR ALONE ISN'T ENOUGHT! THEY DIDN'T SEE WEBBER!? HE HAS THE SAME CAR!

He was breathing heavily, he could feel his arms shake as they held Kimi's arm hard, very hard.

\- Are you feeling better now?

\- No.

Kimi looked at him like he has grown two heads.

\- There's Hanna, she is becoming distant, and I feel like she is hiding something from me.

\- Look I'm not the best person to talk to when the matter is woman, but I know about wanting some time for themself, and I know that she cares about you as much as me, so give her this time alone ... it's only for two weeks, isn't it?

\- But what if ...

\- Don't think the worst. Wait for her to feel ready to tell you what is happening, don't do with her what you did to me ... she needs this time for a reason, respect that.

\- Ok. You're right.

\- Good, now could you please let go of my arms, they're hurting.

\- Oh ... sorry!

Vettel saw Kimi rolling his eyes, and turning away, only to stop a few steps later.

\- Are you coming or not?

\- I'm coming ... wait for me ... hey ... I'm talking to you! Kimi! Wait!

When he got on the house he saw Rami and the kids in the kitchen, it looked like Rami was doing the lunch while Kimi was with the kids.  
Vettel really admired how good Kimi is with kids, it's amazing that the finn didn't have one himself, but while took the kids to the room to entertain them with a game that they appeared to love, he stayed in the kitchen with Rami.

Rami ignored him for most of the time, until he decided to start a conversation.

\- So...how are the things?

\- Good.

\- Spending some time helping Kimi?

\- Yeah, but I'm returning home tomorrow.

\- You're gonna leave him alone?

\- No...you're here.

\- Oh.

Then Rami turned and looked at him in a way that made him want to run away, muttered a few complaints, and later Vettel understood what Rami wanted to say...

_"If you hurt my brother, nobody will find your body."_

He decided to sit down in one of the chairs, and wait for Kimi to return with the kids, that's when the phone started to ring...

\- Don't worry I answer.

In the visor was the name Minttu.  
He stopped and looked around in doubt if he should or not answer, so he waited and waited, but Kimi didn't appeared, so he answered.

\- Sebastian...

\- Oh ... hi ... Kimi is here?

\- He is, want me to call him?

\- Huumm, There is no need, I will call later. Thanks.

\- Ok. Bye.

_"Minttu?"_

That name was familiar, he didn't remember exactly where, but he had heard that name.  
What did she want with Kimi?  
Before he could speculate Kimi reappeared ...

\- Who was that?

\- Mistake.

\- Hmm ..

\- Errrhhmm ... and how is your back?

\- Much better, it still bothers me a bit, but this is expected.

\- But the surgery wasn't suppose to end with this problem?

\- It was to prevent the problem to get worse, so I can compete next year. The pain will not go away. But it was much smaller, almost non existent.

\- Oh .. and you saw the last race?

\- No, actually haven't seen the last two races.

\- You lost! Webber's farewell was great, he was really happy, it was weird to see.

\- Hehehe, he is a good guy, but I could care less about him. Tell me what you think about the new kid.

\- Ricciardo?

\- Yes, that one.

\- He ... is ... happy!?

\- Visibly.

\- Who won't be happy in his position, he got a RBR car for next year.

\- But he got you as teammate.

\- It is a bonus, be my teammate is a great opportunity.

\- He won't agree with you.

\- How can you be so sure?

\- Six years Seb, six years ... you will soon or later will show the boy that you're the number one in RBR.

\- Of course, but I don't think it will be needed since it is an understanding fact.

\- I would love to see how you will react if he get a better result than you.

\- I will congratulate him.

\- I hope so...

Kimi was on his way to the kitchen, when he showed with his hand an invitation for him to do the same.   
Vettel was about to get up, when Kimi looked at him with a big smile and said.

\- But after you congratulate him, you better make sure he knows who is the boss.

Kimi then gave him a wink, and went to the kitchen...

Vettel thought that maybe the things weren't so bad, Kimi seemed to decide that what happened is past, part of him loved it, other part was concerned.

But it didn't change nothing, the casual conversation, the smiles and the wink ... he knows Kimi ... the man is quiet and very good at observing things, he knows his friend is trying to make things better, trying to avoid a confrontation ...

So he thought, if Kimi is trying so hard to make everything right, he would do it too, he went to kitchen, curious to see to where Kimi was trying to lead the things, what Kimi wants, and then, when he get that, it would be his time to do the same.


	34. Feuer und Wasser - part 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the last chapter before my summer break, I believe that for most readers it is Winter Break, but in my case it is summer and a good summer ... it's so hot ... 32°C today and it's still 11am ...
> 
> Hope you enjoy the chapter, and that you're enjoying the story as a whole.  
> Kudos, commentaries, critics, fell free to express your thoughts.
> 
> I will return in January with a new chapter.  
> Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year to you all!

 

The lunch went pretty well, the kids were responsible for most of the conversation, in fact they didn't stop talking, when they weren't talking, they were making sounds, that was when he decided to enter in the show as well.  
He started to make his imitations, he did several, but the one the kids loves most was his Kimi imitation.

He could see the kids laughing and making observations and trying to do the same.  
In the corner of his eye he could see Kimi smiling, and in his front he saw Rami making a face of "don't incentive them"

They passed the rest of the day together, he was upset that he didn't get a minute alone with Kimi, but despite that, he was happy...  
Later at night, he thought he would sleep in Kimi's bedroom or at least close to it, but Rami didn't let that...

_"Damn ... older brothers."_

But it allowed him use his stealth abilities late at night.  
He eventually learned something about moving like a shadow from Heikki, small steps, delicate, using all of his foot area ... and slowly he arrived in Kimi's bedroom,

When he got there, and made sure he didn't attract anyone's attention, he felt like he had won a badge ... he was awesome.

_"Bless Heikki and his ninja skills"_

He slowly entered in the bedroom and quietly said.

\- Kimi...

But when he got close the problem started, Kimi got out of the bed so fast that he would't believe himself if he said that the finn had passed through a surgery almost a month ago.

Kimi looked at him in a mix of emotions, he looked like he wanted to scream and at the same time to punch him, he was glad that Kimi decided to hit him with a pillow.

\- You wanna to give me a heart attack?!

\- No, I just wanted to make a surprise.

\- My brother is here, are you insane! ... Kimi said while hitting him again.

\- He appeared to be okay with everything.

\- My nephews are also here, what will we tell them if they see you?

\- We live in a modern world, the boys must have heard it ... Vettel pointed to them both ..

\- The world can be modern, but that does not mean everyone has a modern mindset!

Vettel starting to feel bad about his actions, maybe he shouldn't have done that, who knows it's better return to his room, but then Kimi give a half step foward...

\- Wait!

\- What?

\- Where you going?

\- Back to my room.

\- And if they spot you?

\- Hãam ... I say that I was in the bathroom?

\- The only bathroom here is the one in this bedroom.

\- Ops.

\- Yeah, I feel the same, it's better if you stay here.

He couldn't believe in what he heard, did Kimi say to him to stay there with him?  
Really?!  
He didn't even remembered the reason why he was there... maybe it was with the same objective, but who cares, it is Kimi, and he is suggesting that he should stay there ... he was excited!

\- Seb, try to keep your eyes inside your head, please...

\- Ok...but where I would sleep?

\- In the bed.

\- But what about you?

\- I will sleep in the bed too.

Kimi returned to the bed, making himself confortable, looking at Vettel, awaiting for him to do something, until he got bored and decided that it wasn't worth to spend so much time awaiting for the german to get out of transe.

Vettel saw Kimi lay down, and even in the dark he could see those beautiful eyes.

\- Why are you taking so much time to laid down on the bed?

\- Errrhm.

\- You're a poet, stop being shy, we did worse things than lay beside each other.

So he did it, at first, he was tense as hell, but then it was like Kim said, they have done more than just laid side by side, he looked at Kimi who had his back to him, and without thinking acting only by curiosity, he started to lift Kimi's shirt.

There he saw two small scars, with the size of his middle finger, one was red, put without the points, the other in Kimi's lower back still had the points.  
He stroked them, just for curiosity, when Kimi started to talk.

\- Stop it.

\- Why? It bothers you?

\- Gives me itching.

\- Oh! Why the lower one still with the points?

\- Don't know, I'm not a doctor. But I will take them off next week.

And they stayed in silence, it wasn't like they didn't have what to say, far from it, they had a lot to talk about, but in that moment what they needed was silence.

It made Vettel question himself, they always had theirs moments of silence, but it he felt like they hadn't do it in ages... in fact ... When was the last time they just enjoyed each other company with nothing in mind?   
With no interest besides the want and need to be close.

It feels so good...

Then Kimi, who he thought that was already sleeping started to talk.

\- I like your beard.

\- What?! Really!?

\- Yes, it makes you look more old, responsible, mature ...

\- ...

\- ... Handsome.

\- Uau ... Thank you, if I knew that you would liked it I would let it grown sooner.

And he started to rub his beard on Kimi's neck.

\- Hehehehe, stop it, I just said that I like it, not that I wanted you to rub it in me.

\- Ok, I will stop, but, since we are talking about things that we like, you know that I love your hair when they're long.

\- So you don't like when they're short?

\- No! I like, I just prefer them long.

Vettel run his hand through Kimi's hair as he spoke to him...

\- I'd love if you to let them grow again, I remember you dressed in red with a long hair ... it was ... nice to see.

\- Hehehe... my hair are a little longer now.

\- I would want them longer.

Vettel kept running his hand through Kimi's hair, when he felt an almost child desire, which he couldn't control, grabbing a handful of hair and turning Kimi's head toward him ...   
Kimi let out a little cry of surprise ... Vettel was afraid that someone could hear the yell, kissed Kimi with intention of stop the noise.

He could see Kimi eyes, first in shock, then closing while he opening the mouth for him.  
He kissed like if there is no tomorrow, stopping only when Kimi started to laugh...

Still holding Kimi's hair, Vettel looked at him trying to understand the reason behind the laugh.

And Kimi could see Vettel raising an eyebrow... and between giggles he tried to explain.

\- Sorry ... I don't known what came over me.

With a hand on Vettel chest and another taking Vettel's hand out of his hair, Kimi smiled again

\- Let's sleep, tomorrow we talk.

Vettel didn't get time to say anything, Kimi gave him a light kiss on his forhead, turned around, and more or less ended theirs conversation.

Part of him wanted more, to feel Kimi so close, right in his front, with his back to him, after a kiss that had awakened some urges ...   
He even raised one of his hand grabbing Kimi's shoulder, but then, he didn't get here for it, not now, if he did something that Kimi doesn't want, the risk that Kimi won't talk to him in the next day was too big.

So he loosened the strength in his hand, made a little caress and turned ,trying to sleep ...

Vettel didn't know, but while he was in his internal conflict, Kimi was tense as hell, his whole body was so stiff that he felt his muscles screaming at him ...

Vettel was calmer than before, much more calm, he was so happy thinking that the month away as worth of it, but a small part of him still was apprehensive, and he knew that he had to lower his guard in some moment...

But when he felt Vettel hand in his shoulder he couldn't help himself, but think that it didn't work, that again Vettel won't be satisfied with just a kiss, that he would want more, would demand more, and he didn't want it ... But he was prepared to end it all if Vettel dared to force him to do more than just a kiss.  
So when he felt Vettel caress his shoulder and turn to sleep, he didn't bother to try to hold his smile, he was more than happy ... that was what he wanted ... personal space ... mutual understanding without need of words, like the things were in the beggining of the year.

He felt proud of himself, he bet on the distance, and he nailed it.

Tomorrow it would be just him and Vettel, tomorrow they will have the entire day, the entire the house to themselves, and he would't admit it to anyone, but he was looking forward to it.


	35. Feuer und Wasser - part 3

When Sebastian awoke and found the bed empty, he tried not to question why and not get upset by the fact that Kimi wasn't there with him, so he tried to sneak out of the room.

Downstairs he could hear the sound of people talking, the Finnish language is not his best, but having known many finns helped him learn a little of the language and because of that, he could understand something of what they were talking about.

\- When you will visit mother?

\- Soon, probably before the tests.

\- You gonna say goodbye to her?

\- Rami, please forget it.

\- Forget? They will put a F1 engine in a normal car! And you will drive that thing.

\- I asked to drive it.

\- Even worse!

\- I know what I'm doing, I have experience with cars.

\- I will not pry, but I won’t tell mom, she doesn't deserve to be preoccupied with your follies.

\- Thank you.

\- I didn't do it for you.

_"Kimi will drive a normal car with the new Ferrari engine? Did Steve know about it? It's crazy!"_

He decided to save this information for later, he would talk to Steve about it, surely the man did not know that his driver was on a suicide mission.  
He took a deep breath, and entered the kitchen.

\- Good morning.

\- It is almost late.

\- Morning Seb! And Rami it's 10 am!

\- Morning to me is 5am, and now it’s far away from that time.

\- Don’t mind him Seb. What do you want to eat?

\- What do you have here?

\- Rami?

\- Bread, milk, fruit, and some candy. If you eat sweets, eat them away from the boys, Kimi have been filling them with sugar for several weeks.

\- Okay

And with that Rami went out and left the two alone.

\- Kimi.

\- Yes

\- Don't want to complain, but when your brother will go home?

\- Hehehe ... if it depended of him ... never. But he will leave after lunch.

\- Oh

\- I ordered pie, the boys love pie, that's why they are still here, but after that, they will leave.

While eating, Sebastian could see Kimi looking at him with a small smile on his face, it was when he realized that his dish was never empty because Kimi kept filling it.

\- I can't eat that much , Heikki will kill me .

\- You will get almost 10 months of food restriction , eat a little more.

\- I will gain weight !

\- You have to gain first so you can lose later. Don't worry about Heikki, think that I am giving him a job by keeping you not so lean.

\- Can I ask you something ?

\- Spit it out !

\- Why didn't you answer my messages?

\- Messages!?

\- I called YOU !

\- Keep the food inside your mouth please.

\- Aaand... I'm waiting for an answer .

\- As I said the boys broke the phone, I have no idea how, I only heard the noise and then they brought what was left of it to me.

\- But you were using your brother phone, weren’t you?

\- Rami's phone doesn’t work in certain points of the house , and no message or call came to me .

\- Perhaps Rami has hidden it from you ...

\- Stop it already ! My brother would not hide it from me ok , end of subject.

Sebastian decided to shut up, Kimi's face was clear enough and told without words 'You are a guest in my house, but if you talk bullshit, I'll show you the door'  
He finished what he was eating and fled from the kitchen before Kimi pushes up more food for him.

And then there's the pie that hadn't arrived, it was taking ages!

They were doing just about everything to pass the time.  
Sebastian was almost back to the kitchen to eat the hidden sweets, but he feared that would drag the attention of children, who were playing cards.  
But he didnt care much about the rest, as soon as the pie arrived, they ate it and Rami and the boys were gone. He was so excited that he didn't realize that Kimi had leaned against the sofa and slept.

_"But how? He was awake just now."_

He wanted so badly to wake Kimi, but he had seen as Kimi was running and playing and distracting the children, it seemed very tiring.  
He then sat there on the floor admiring him a little while eating some goodies ... Heikki was not there after all.  
When he finally got tired of sitting, he went out to walk a little, he saw the dogs, he saw the landscape, he enjoyed the sound of silence, and when he returned he faced a Kimi with a swollen face, messy hair and a drool in the corner of the mouth, yawning for him.

\- Sorry, I couldn't stay awake.

\- Okay, you seemed to need it.

\- My energy was simply gone, but now I'm better ... I'll take a shower, if you want to stretch out and relax a bit, you know where my room is.

When Kimi rose, Sebastian soon followed in the same direction, he stayed in the room while Kimi was showering, but he still was in doubt, did Kimi invited him to go along, or he interpreted things the wrong way?

The worst is that if he interpreted it wrong, it wouldn’t be something easy to explain and the error would be very large, at the same time, who doesn't try something, nothing can conquer ... and he is more than used to get what he wants.

Sebastian went to the bathroom very slowly, he wanted to savor the anxiety of the moment, he wanted to surprise Kimi.

\- I know you're there Seb.

_"But how?"_

\- Change of temperature, that's how I noticed, just in case you're wondering.

\- But I was so quick to open and close the door, how did the cold get in here?

\- When you have metal plates in your body you feel even the small changes in temperature, I assure you.

\- Oh ..

\- You will get in here, or what?

\- What?

\- Why did you get in here?

\- Hãaan ...

_"Shit ... shit ... shit ... apparently it wasn't an invitation."_

Before Sebastian could think of a response, Kimi turned off the shower, grabbed a towel and stopped in front of him, giving a light tap on his cheek and a smirk.

\- Let's go to the bedroom, you screwed the entire ambient temperature.

Sebastian walked into the room, and Kimi acted like there was no one else there beside himself.  
While Sebastian was sitting on the bed and was watching the show, the finn lowered looking for clothes and Sebastian could have sworn Kimi knew where the clothes he was looking for were and that it was just for the show ... but he has nothing to complain about besides the towel around his friend waist.

\- Have you looked in the bottom drawer?

Kimi looked at him as if he had interrupted a precious routine. But still crouched down to see the bottom drawer.  
Sebastian came to believe that Kimi was really serious and really wanted to just get his clothes until the finn stopped in front of him, holding a pair of socks and deliberately let it fall on the ground.

\- Oops ...

Sebastian looked at Kimi that was with an incredible poker face...

Was Kimi wishing that he lowered himself to pick up the socks?  
No ... never ... forget it.

\- You let your socks fall.

\- I noticed.

Kimi still standing, Sebastian still sitting, neither of them made a move ...

_"He's challenging me ... I know he is. Forget it Kimi, I will not stoop. We can stay the whole day here, but I will not break."_

After a few minutes, Sebastian can hear Kimi sigh and complain something in a self made language, because it certainly wasn't Finnish ... and bend down to pick up the socks.

_"Victory!"_

Sebastian opened his legs and he could see that Kimi was doing it on purpose , he didn't have to bend over to pick up the socks , he also didn't need to take so much time to do something so simple.  
But that position was like a drug to his most primitive instincts ...

Sebastian leaned forward, intending to slap Kimi's ass when he could finally understand the reason for that delay ...  
Kimi taking advantage of the fact that Sebastian wasn't supported in somewhere, took a piece of the german shirt and used his body as leverage to topple Sebastian on the floor.  
Taking advantage of the Sebastian's shock , Kimi wasted no time and held his hands as he sat upon him .

Despite the face of astonishment , Kimi could feel Sebastian getting horny .

\- It seems that now I'm on top.

Sebastian had a look full of malice and used his hip to push Kimi slightly forward, that tried to return to initial position only to encounter with Sebastian's hip again.  
Kimi wasn't naive, he noticed what Sebastian's movements simulated, and decided to stop it there .  
But when he decided to get up , Sebastian made him lose his balance using the same pelvic motion, holding Kimi in a hug .

\- Huh ... I thought you wanted to stay on top.

Sebastian could feel Kimi's heartbeats accelerate, and he smiled at his friend's surprised face .

_"Two can play that game."_

He tried to kiss Kimi but failed because the finn turned his face and pinched him, making him loose his embrace.  
Kimi got up, got the towel that was almost falling and seriously said.

\- Do you intend to stay until when?

\- I don't know. Until tomorrow, after tomorrow at the latest. I have to go to FIA gala ... speaking of which, you will go?

Kimi sat on the bed and spent some time looking at Sebastian.

\- I will not.

\- Why?

\- I don't want to.

Sebastian got up and sat next to Kimi, placing his hand on finn’s thigh.

\- I wish you could go.

\- I know. But I think these events are boring, and I have the perfect excuse to not go then why waste my time going?

Sebastian could see Kimi shivering, he felt his friend's thigh getting cold under his fingers, and he thought to himself that this was a great opportunity for him to warm them up. Kimi was teasing him since he woke up, he surely wanted something.  
But he took too long to take action and Kimi stood up.

\- Can you wait for me in the kitchen?

\- Hãaan!?

\- I'll change and then prepare something for us to eat, what do you think?

\- But ... I ... we...

\- Glad you agree.

And Kimi drove Sebastian out of the room.

_"Why did he do that? How can he do this to me I'm doing everything right, on the right time, what the fuck is this?"_

Sebastian was confused and angry, everything seemed so right, so perfect, and there was he... reviewing in his mind all that had passed in that room and he saw no reason for it not to be worked, for they not to have gone ahead.  
But what else could he do? Entering the room and throw Kimi on bed was very practical, but it wasn't an option because it would not be productive, he had little time to throw everything he has achieved away, sex was good, but not worth of that much.  
With no options he went to the kitchen and waited for Kimi, he had a lot to talk yet, the next year for example, if Ferrari gets the car right, the two of them will have great disputes and well, he knew that Kimi will support him and not Fernando.

_"With Kimi taking points from Alonso, the championship probably won't be so difficult, he just need to concentrate on his job. He just needs to win, and Kimi would, even without wanting, undermine the Ferrari."_

Meanwhile Kimi was in the bedroom wondering what to do for them to eat, he could not prepare many things, he was very restricted , but still wanted to leave a good impression .

And there was Sebastian , he didn't know if he was ready to have sex with Sebastian again, the last attempt despite having given him pleasure was somewhat disagreeable, but apart from that, he trusts Sebastian, he has always trusted him, but that didn’t took away the fear, it was something very intimate, very personal and the last time wasn't nice and along with other things eventually lead him to decide to move away, and he didn't want to go through that again, he didn't want to make Sebastian pass through it again.

Then there is the Ferrari thing, he had a bad feeling when the matter is Montezemelo and the new years regulation, and he wanted to show to Sebastian what he was seeing, in his mind just words won't work, he doesn't have time nor spirit to involve Christian in this matter, so it’s going to be him, he would do a final sacrifice, it could flush down all the progress made, but the results in the end would be good.  
A necessary evil, like they say ... Sebastian needs to be prepared, because something told him that Sebastian would need him, and he wanted to be there for Sebastian, be there as a friend or something more, what mattered was being there, making it clear that he would have his full support, even though he not said or show it in public.

Kimi put his socks on and put his slippers, he sat there for a while staring at nothing.

And breathed deep and stood up, he already knew what he would do for them to eat ...


	36. Webber is right!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter the thing will heat up ...  
> Get hot ...   
> I don't know a way to describe ... so sex time!  
> Thanks for the kudos XD

 

Kimi's notion of afternoon snack was something scary, Sebastian could see him add a little of everything that was left and put in a bread, which was more frightened was to see him melt a cheese in a pan and rub the bread there, throwing the fat that's left on top of everything.  
Sebastian felt his heart veins clogged just from watching.  
Where did the finn seen this ...   
Jesus ...

Despite the scary face, the snack was tasty, but Sebastian knew that each bite was equivalent to an hour of aerobics.

They started to eating in silence, occasionally sending a smile to each other ...  
Kimi even told him that he learn such a thing in the rally, when one of the guys from the junior team put everything he found in a bread, and that he found it quite good, pratical, and usefull.  
Apart from Kimi's need to fatten him up...  
Everything was fine...  
The problem started when Sebastian decided to talk about 2014 and the championship, and everything was ready to fall down.

Kimi collected the dishes, passed alcohol on the table, and ignored him completely.

Sebastian stood and approached Kimi, who kept walking back and forth, as if running away all the time.

\- Why don't you want to talk about the coming year?

\- I want to wait for the future to become the present and not think about it now.

\- You know that depending on how good the car is ...

\- ... but I still not sure of how good the car will be.

\- Well ... even if it is good, it won't would change anything, I'll win!

\- How so?

\- I will win, I will defeat Fernando again, Lewis has already accepted the lose, and you will not get in my way, then I've won.

\- Who said I'm not going to fight for the title?

\- You will fight against me?

\- I will.

No no no...  
It wasn't what Kimi was supposed to answer, Kimi is his friend, always encouraging, not hindering him in his glory.

But Sebastian understand Kimi's will, he is an excellent pilot, still, he no longer is the same as before the accident ...

If Kimi's faced and weakened him, he could lose the title, and it went against everything that Kimi had struggled to show him.

All that talk of trust, you're the best, no one can face you, never retreat, never apologize, and now this?

Sebastian walked towards Kimi, cornering him against the wall, but even cornered Kimi faced him with a determined gaze.

\- Why you would do it?

\- Because I love racing, and I also love winning, I'm not in F1 just because it's cute, I want a second title.

\- Well ... you will not have it ... becau ...

\- Don't look at me like that, don't even start this phrase. I'm not Webber, I'm no second driver. I will fight for this title, I just need a good car and when I have one, I will win, even against you ... especially against you ... if you have a problem with it, just don't get in my way.

\- You will not talk to me like that!

Sebastian grabbed his arm and pulled Kimi to himself, he could see by the expression of surprise on Kimi's face.

\- Let me go ...

Kimi's voice was low and menacing.

\- Make me!

And Sebastian was on the ground. Kimi turned around and walked back to his room as fast as possible to the room .  
Seeing this, Sebastian tried to get up and run , he knew that Kimi would lock himself in the room and if he allowed it would be the last talk between them, and after one day and half of happiness, that was really a bad way to end a visit.

Sebastian arrived in time to prevent Kimi from the close the door, gently pushing Kimi inside and soon closing the door blocking the exit..

\- Why are we doing this?

\- ...

\- Do not give me that look. You are the one who created the whole situation .

\- Hmph ... I created ?

\- Yeah ... you tease me saying that I 'm always right, always encourages my urges, praises me increasing my ego and confidence and then deny me what I want !

\- I'm not teasing you, are you forgetting that I'm also a competitor. I here to win, I am no different from you.

Kimi sat on the bed and continued to talk without looking Sebastian.

\- I messed up with you, I continued treating you like that rookie boy who put others champions on a pedestal, I know I have guilt since I always encourage and boost your ambition ... and I am even more guilty for never impose myself when it was needed, even seeing that you're starting to take this to a more personal side ... but I did it because I wanted to see you succeed, I wanted to see you not only win, but turn the other competitors obsolete ... my petty side vibrated every time you took for yourself theirs chances of winning.

At the beginning of theirs relationship, six years ago , Sebastian had his doubts about why someone like Kimi wanted and accepted his presence, why Kimi gave him so much attention ...  
When he was younger, for several times he believed Kimi saw him as a project, a project that turned into a colleague, who became a friend, who became whatever they are now ...  
But hear what Kimi said it, so personally, it had another meaning, another impact , it is no doubt that Kimi had done it all with the best of intentions, with a greater sense of affection, but that didn't lessen the frustration in his own mind ...  
There is one small side of his mind, an horrible side, that keep pounding into his head that sick and senseless notion...

\- You will lose the championship and will not be to me, it will be to yourself ... you're become a blind man who does not see anything beyond your own navel ... if not Horner and me, you would be lost!

Kimi wanted to hurt him, it was obvious, but Sebastian couldn't understand why, why Kimi attack him so closely, so personally, he who trusted him so much, that admired him ...   
No... Kimi would regret to have manipulated him.

\- I got here on merit ...!

\- You're an idiot, you are blind ...

\- I would have get everything I did ... without Newey ...

\- You don't see what's in your front ...

\- ... without Horner ...

\- ... that's what he'll do ...

\- ... without YOU!

And Kimi stopped talking ... he just froze, his eyes wide.   
Sebastian start to felt guilty almost immediately...

_"What am I doing?"_   
_"Was Kimi saying something about someone doing something?"_

\- Who will do what?

\- ...

\- TELL ME.

\- DISCOVER YOURSELF SINCE YOU DON'T NEED ME!

And Sebastian knew he had screwed up. Kimi would send him away, would open the door and sends him away, like that time in the WRC, so Sebastian run, embrace and hold him with force just to keep him there.  
Sebastian could felt Kimi breath in and out, giving him a semi hug, and slowly he brought they both to the bed, laying on top of Kimi and using his body to hold him there.

\- Calm down ... ok ... sorry ... I don't know what came over me.

\- This has been happening with frequency ...

\- What you want to tell me? Who will do what?

\- I teased you, I only put one small and personal doubt in your head, and you overreacted. I've seen it happen ... and it will happen again ...

\- I didn't want ... I didn't think ...

\- It's a new found weakness...

\- Excuse me.

\- EXCUSE IS NOT ENOUGH!

Sebastian looked at his friend, in any other circumstance, would be told that Sebastian was the one in control of the situation, but the truth is that he was in doubt, and Kimi is who seemed to know what was happening .

\- I ...

\- You always maintain control in front of others, never showing you're affected , not to your opponents, not to those who like mental games, but that does not mean that things do not affect you, over the years, me, Christian and now Heikki ... we were always there observing the things, your reactions, the others reactions, prepared to control any damage to you and your image...

\- Nobody need to know they can affected me, that would be a weakness they would exploit, Crhistian and Marko told me that.

\- And I became one of your weakness .

\- What? How?

\- We are not discrete, our friendship is strange, everyone sees and draw their own deductions, and sooner or later, they will use it against you .

\- And I will not show nothing ... I have everything under control .

\- No, you don't have, you will remain unattainable in front of them, but it will be with me that you will explode.

\- I would never do that .

\- You already did! And will do again, don't see that you can hurt me ?

\- Kimi! I would never do anything against you

\- Shut up you idiot !

\- ...

\- You better pay attention, because Im saying it only once.

\- ...

\- I'm not saying it will be a specific driver, it could be anyone, any team, press or public. I'm in this sport longer than you, and I cannot speak for others, but I've been at Ferrari, I know how things are there. And since 2007 they are being constantly overcome. Montezemolo doesn't hide his frustration, he makes a point of saying in every interview that he will no longer accept being second.

\- And what does this have to do with me, with us?

\- I'll be there next year, and will do everything possible to be number one, but I'm not blind to not see that my return to Ferrari wasn't only because of my performance or Steve's effort, but because it is of Montezemolo interest. The man is under pressure, he lived glory days with Schummacher, but since my win, he has constantly beaten, and I assure you that his efficiency is in question.

\- Mark told me to stay away from you ... is because of this?

\- You will go to the FIA gala, just pay attention, and see it for yourself. He wants to win again, and you and RBR are on his way. He will use anything to reach you, in the racetrack and beyond if necessary. It is no longer a sports issue, it is political, he has to show service.

Sebastian understood what Kimi meant, and he can also see how it takes so little for him to lost focus, Kimi knew it, knew how to make him lose control and apparently feared that someone else could do the same.

In the end Kimi was right, he was always right, that distance was necessary to improve things between them, and that provocation was needed to show to Sebastian his own weaknesses, but at the same time Sebastian knew that Kimi was being sincere when he said that he wanted the title and that would pass over him if he was on his way.

Part of him was glad to see his Kimi with that spirit again, the same determination that was there during the McLaren years and in the first two years of Ferrari, and another part of him was concerned, he had never faced that Kimi on the racetrack, the man who was emotionally unattainable, the ICEMAN, that nearly took the title from Schummacher twice, the same who coolly took for himself the title of 2007.  
He was a man to be feared and respected ...  
And that same man was willing to open up emotionally to him, and show it all to him, he, who will be one of his greatest adversaries next year ... it showed him how much Kimi likes him, and he dared to think, loves him.

Sebastian had a smile on his face, a huge smile, but what he had done was horrible and childish, but at the same time, he knew that Kimi had make him do it.

Kimi felt as if his duty had been fulfilled, he passed the message, perhaps wrongly, but he had a masochistic side, this was the only plausible explanation.

He knew Sebastian enough to know that it wasn't the default behavior of the german, he was going through a difficult phase, and the end of the year and their small time to relax was be enough to calm Sebastian.   
So he saw the need to use this specific moment, while he could still see some of that fury in his eyes Sebastian, it was ideal to simulate a situation and show Sebastian what he had seen...

Basically, all that Kimi wanted was to be wrong, but for more laid back he may appear, he is also a strategist, he knows he has 2 or 3 years maximum in F1, and he had to leave his mark. ..  
Kimi did not like what he did or Sebastian's reactions, but it had to be done, but now he had a clear notion of what was to come, however much he loves Sebastian, the german will be his opponent, and his time running out, the door to one more title is closing, and he wants that title more than ever.

In their own minds they both knew they were looking for ways to be superior to each other on the track, Sebastian knew Kimi's ambition and Kimi knew Sebastian's ambition, they just needed to get right, and what would happen on the racetrack would stay on the racetrack, a difficult but achievable task, and they believe in each other's ability to achieve such a feat.

Both felt resolved with respect to their position within F1, they may not agree, but they were clear in their objectives.

Horner once was envisioned that if they were together in the same team, they and the team would be unbeatable, like Prost and Senna, but with a much better environment, but fate put them as opponents in every way less in personal and intimate, and so every moment together was worth twice as much for them.

\- Have you noticed that since I got here, I always end up in your room?

\- Hehehe, you were wanting something isn't?

\- You know what I want. I'm just waiting for you to tell me you want it too.

\- And what I want counts?

\- Always had and always will.

Kimi put his hands on Sebastian's waist who was still on top of him and slowly put his hands inside Sebastian's shirt, making a subtle movement suggesting to Sebastian snatch the shirt.  
Kimi thought that Sebastian deserved it, they deserved that moment.  
Nothing like enjoy it to the fullest.  
He said what he wanted, he felt good and safe enough, the racetrack they would be hard but fair opponents but outside it they are and would be just themselves ... and right now he would completely belong to Sebastian, it's his present for his best friend.


	37. Barada

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thank you guys ... soon there will be Hanna!!! and more than Hanna, Kimi !!

 

Sebastian was admiring Kimi who was lying on his side, his body with small bruises and scratches that he had done ... he felt like watching his artwork.  
He had to admit he never thought he'd see Kimi so surrender to him, and he did it worthwhile, they spent the entire afternoon in that bed, his chest full of pride because he knew Kimi would not wake up so early.

He laid there, his head reviewing what happened during the afternoon ...

Kimi had begun to lift his shirt and he tried to finish the job, he kissed Kimi wildly while pinching his nipples, he could tell Kimi loved it, and he too, he began to suck Kimi's neck while slowly tried to take his shirt off.

Kimi ,in then other hand, was into a personal fascination with his beard, and something told him that the beard was part of the reason Kimi have been so enthusiastic about the idea.

He then put Kimi's mouth to work, sticking three fingers inside it, and stood there admiring Kimi while the blond man was sucking his fingers, and when he started making moves back and forth, Kimi began making divine sounds.

He started gentle, sometimes just let the tip of his fingertips in Kimi's mouth, and sometimes stuck his fingers until Kimi choked on them and sometimes only skirted Kimi's mouth.  
He was so engrossed that he didn't notice that Kimi was trying to remove his own shorts...  
And for more he was enjoying that he decided to help Kimi by removing his fingers from the Finn's mouth, lowering his shorts and almost immediately inserting one then two fingers into Kimi that could not hold back the cry, and trying to hold off the invasion.  
He approached while fucking Kimi with his fingers, and spoke into the finn's ear.

\- Relax ... I know it's not your first time ...

He barely finished talking and put the third finger, Kimi squirmed, looked in doubt about flying from the invasion or going after it.  
He spread Kimi's legs to have more mobility, and slowly increased the pace ... and when the little moans and cries were accompanied by a shout, he knew he had found Kimi's spot, and before taking his present, he decided to thank his friend, putting his fingers as deep as possible, repeatedly hitting Kimi's prostate until he saw that Kimi was near his climax ... and then he stopped letting his fingers deep inside ...  
He could see Kimi panting and shaking ... his body having small seizures.  
Then he took his free hand to slightly squeezing Kimi's neck and looked seriously into at the finn.

\- Can I?

Kimi nodded his head, and he began trying to find a rhythm, the position hindered him, but after a while he managed to find the sweet spot again, and rotate between thrusting his fingers and squeezing Kimi's neck.  
And for a brief moment he could see Kimi popping eyes and opening his mouth, but no sound came out, that was when he felt that Kimi had came, his legs twitched involuntarily as his body shook and writhed.

Sebastian pulled his fingers without warning, and entered Kimi at once on ...   
Kimi’s body still spasming, his hands opening and closing without knowing where to grab and the eyes ... Kimi's eyes looking at him at that moment was something he will never forget, a mixture of surprise, pleasure and a little pain ...

Sebastian thrusted as deep possible, Kimi's muscles still having spasms and did all the work, and he came inside Kimi.

He stood there until they recovered, he had no idea how much time had passed, but when he felt ready for another round, he continued to move very slowly, Kimi's groans due his body being super sensitive helped him getting hard again.

\- Seb!

Vettel stopped for a moment and looked at Kimi, he could see the finn holding a sob, but kept on moving, thrusting little by little

\- Just don't move so fast .... aargh

And Sebastian entered up to the balls and tears started flowing in Kimi's face. He took Kimi's member and began to stroke him to distract him from the discomfort and was gradually increasing the pace and when he noticed he was already stocking more stronger and as fast as humanly possible while squeezing Kimi's neck with more strength ...   
Kimi's reactions were minimal, and Sebastian wanted a replay of what he saw on the plane and in the hotel.  
Kimi returned to twitch and give little moans, he struggled to breathe, but still looked Vettel with a challenge look ... And Sebastian saw that Kimi could still endure more , the body may not show it, but the eyes told him that.

Increasingly pressing his hold on Kimi's neck, Sebastian began to see a reaction , Kimi started fighting him, his body writhing , his hands trying to free his neck, his legs were kicking the nothingness, Kimi's body seemed to have a life of his own and seemed to fight internally, he felt an incredible sensation when Kimi's insides twitched.

And he continued, in, out , long and cruel thrusts inside Kimi... until his body began to weaken, and till he saw Kimi eyes rolling ... Sebastian could clearly see it, Kimi was about to faint, so he immediately let go of his neck, and Kimi pulled as much air as he could, his muscles twitched and then his body was going to limp soon after ... he noticed that Kimi had come again, but the breathplay had it's price, because now Kimi stood there motionless, his eyes dull, his breath weak and paused, he did not fuss, even though Sebastian was still fucking him.

He wanted more of that wonderful feeling, and took his hands around the neck of Kimi, but before he could do anything, Kimi looked at him ...

\- Please ... don't.

And he removed his hands from his neck, there was no reason to continue, he approached his torso, and began kissing Kimi's neck as he spoke.

\- Thank You ... thank you ...

He felt he was near his climax, he stopped and approched Kimi's face till he was nose to nose, eyes looking deep into older man, he held Kimi's head, stroking his short blond hair.

\- One more time ... please, he asked as he rocked his hips, Kimi did small groans of complaint.

\- Will be pretty quick, I promise, he added

\- No ...

\- Please ...

\- No ... maybe ... wait a little ...

Kimi was exhausted, he could see that, but he wanted to come too.

\- Kimi c'mon, I know you can handle it ...

And he turned to take one of his hands around Kmi's neck ... the finn’s member begun to hard again ...

\- See, you like it too ...

And he squeezed Kimi's neck again.  
Kimi started making strange noises again, blending moans of complaint with moans of pleasure ... seeing that he was as fast as he could ... feeling that he was almost there, he quickly straightened, holding Kimi by the neck and bringing his body down into the older man, his last thrusts were brutal, Sebastian felt like they were affecting the entire room, and from the sounds and expressions Kimi made, he probably felt the same .. . but to Sebastian it was worth it, his body went rigid, euphoria and pleasure greater than anything else, and Kimi was in his mercy, reacting to his orgasm as if it could blow him inside out, made him feeling even more powerful.

He let go of Kimi's neck and between his legs he watched his work ... His friend really was lovely to see, full of bruises and scratches that he had made, making Kimi even more beautiful, his hair were little longer and all messy, red face and neck, mouth ajar and glazed eyes looking at the nothing ...

\- Kimi ?

He was in doubt whether or not to exit Kimi's body, he slowly brought his hand to Kimi's abdomen and he could see that his hand was shaking and his legs were too tired, but to rest his hand on Kmi's belly and remember that he had came twice inside him, and that everything was still in there, made him question why they should stop now ... he opted to try once more, but he also knew that he would not last much longer, settling to lay together hugged with Kimi, that way he could feel Kimi's smell and began to caress his hair ...

\- Are you okay?

Raikkonen only nodded.

\- Are you all right? I didn't hurt you?

He could hear Kimi muttering something, but couldn’t understand it, and before he even thought of something, Kimi's body began to shake, as if it still in climax, it was bizarre, but at the same time exciting, he was doing it, he alone.

Kimi own involutary motions did get him hard for one last time, he had no idea from where had come so much stamina.

He straightened Kimi to stay on his hand and knees while holding firmly on his hip, he was quick and straightforward.  
At every thrust, Kimi was letting out a scream, his legs and arms shaking, his hands trying to seek support on something.

\- SEB!! SEEEB! Too much, it's too much, I'm full.

He didn't know what the intention of the words was, but the fact is that they made him even hornier, Kimi was full, full of his come. This really makes the ego of a man fly.  
And suddenly, as he marveled in his own head, he lost his balance almost falling down ... Kimi could no longer bear to hold the weight of his own body ... Sebastian gave a few more thrusts and came soon after, and while he emptied himself, he could hear theirs sound, and saw Kimi holding his own abdomen saying ...

\- Oh Odin ... more ... mooore.

Three times ... three fucking times ... he was amazing, Kimi was amazing ... and then everything was black ... that's how he wake up, Kimi fainted beneath him ...   
He got off his friend and can see his semen leaving Kimi's body, and so he put it back inside, putting his finger inside too and he could feel what Kimi had said, he was really full.

The room smelled sex, but he was too exhausted to care and Kimi, well Kimi was in another world.

That was one of the best sex he had ... top 10 or 5 with no doubt.  
And see his Kimi, ever so restrained and controlled lose control like that was a bonus ... What made him even happier was knowing that Kimi had allow him to do that, it made it even more special.

He then rubbed his beard in Kimi's back, who responded ... to his dismay.

\- Stop it and let me sleep!

Sebastian opened a huge smile, that was your Kimi, rude and direct ... his best friend ... but he didn’t only want that, he wanted Kimi as a friend, but also wanted it that way, compliant, and delivered to him.  
He had resolved many things in those days, but it was still something complicated to understand ... but he decided not to worry about it at that moment ...

Leave the future to the future ...

He then went into an activity that he knew Kimi loves, stroking Kimi's hair ...  
Sebastian was happy, he felt good, resolved, confident, of course he was tired, very tired, but it was worth it, he would leave in the next day, but they still have all night and morning to get a little more love.  
Soon Christmas and New Year will come and he is gonna spend them with his family and then the entire team would start to work and ask for him, so these delicious moments of physical contact and silence should be exploited to the maximum.


	38. Hanna - part 2

Hanna was confused; she was afraid but also happy, very happy.  
It's a mix of emotions that do not have anything in common.

She had her suspicions, she was eating more, and her mood was slightly changed  
and well… she erred her days markings ... but still, she wanted to believe in hormonal shift more than anything else.

But then she was taken by surprise, not so surprised as well, but some part of her still not accepting the possibility.

She was pregnant...

And Sebastian...  
Well, Sebastian would visit soon, probably asking her to accompany him on some event ... and if she did not want to go before in the official events of F1 because HE could be there ... now she had an even better and nobler excuse.

Her biggest question was how to tell it to Sebastian, she had read and heard him say in several interviews that he considered himself too young to be a father, he wanted to focus on the competition ... and it made her fear his reaction.

And if he really did not want a child...

He would never be angry with her, it takes two to have a baby, but there was a but, always a but...

She decided to keep up the appearances, and when he arrived, she acted as if there was nothing different, just talked and enjoyed his presence, and every time he came bringing the subject of Autosport or FIA, she changed it... she didn't want to go and end of discussion.

In her head it was all right, she would tell him about her pregnancy on Christmas.  
But then she saw Seb on the phone, asking HIM to call again..  
There's HE again ...   
HIM always...

She could feel tightness in her chest to see Sebastian say HIS name in a so dear way.   
At least her boyfriend had the decency to turn off the phone and she pretended that she had never caught him calling THAT FINN.

She said goodbye to Sebastian in the next day and, as she said, she arranged a meeting with her friends...  
Being the girlfriend of the four time F1 champion taught her many things, such as life gives you two or three real friends, the kind of friends able to keep secrets.

And those friends were the ones she called...  
It was nice, relaxing, she felt confident again...  
She was a mother, and she would be an amazing mother, she knew it.

And she didn't deny her petty and childish side, she was also proud of her, she was pregnant, she would have a son or daughter of Sebastian, she'd give Sebastian something that HE never could give.

But if her friends were there to inflate her ego, her parents were to put her feet on the ground.

"Why you didn't tell him?"  
"What are you waiting for?"  
"My God! My God! My God! I'm gonna be a grandmother!!"  
"Tell him as soon as he land, my girl, don't let that man go away!"

How right were those words...  
She knew that while packing her things for Christmas, her boyfriend was going meet HIM...

So she refused to answer his calls, she feared that if he answered ,she would rub in his face the fact of being pregnant, only to see him come back to her instead of going after HIM.  
But she is an observant woman, she knew, she always knew she could not erase HIS presence, and if she tried, it would only spend her energies on a pointless mission that would not bring her any benefit.

So she waited for the right moment to send him a message.  
She decided to ignore her own jealousy, she had more important things at the moment, and well, she had always been a patient woman.

And she waited, waited and waited, did Christmas shopping with her mother, admired tiny infant clothes and even bought some unisex ones, she was happy with everything ... it was a new stage in her life, and she was anxious about everything ...

That was her title.

But she still had something to do, and in the midst of anxiety, she analyzed the situation, she could not be isolated, it would not work with her, she needed someone, not her friends, not her mother...

She needed someone who understood, who understood her situation ... stay still was leaving her very anxious, she ate like never before ... she had to release her emotions, she had to say it to someone ... Christmas was still so far...

And so she decided, convinced of her choice, knowing it was the best thing to do, she grabbed her cell phone and searched for a specific number that she didn't know why she had ... and waited persistently till be answered.

\- He is not here.

\- It's not with him I want to talk, it's with you, Kimi.


	39. Phone Talk

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> If call someone, you call because you want to talk, so there is The Phone Talk.

 

\- Oh  
  
\- "Oh" ? That's all you have to say.  
  
\- Yes.  
  
\- Look I need help ... I need to vent.  
  
\- And you chose me to do this?  
  
\- It's ... I know it's weird...  
  
\- It's illogical.  
  
\- At the moment I don't care about logic, my situation is not logical.  
  
\- ...  
  
\- Ok, as you didn't hang up the phone I will consider that you are willing to listen.  
  
\- If you keep stalling I'll hang up.  
  
\- Okay, okay ... I'm pregnant.  
  
\- You and Seb have sex?  
  
\- Of course!  
  
\- So this is normal, a consequence.  
  
\- You aren't surprised?  
  
\- Of course I am.  
  
\- You don’t appear to be.  
  
\- How do you expect me to act?  
  
\- I don't know ... angry, hurt, happy ... I don't know!  
  
\- Humph ... I'm not a woman to have these attacks.  
  
\- This was extremely sexist.  
  
\- I don't care  
  
\- But ... but ... I called because...  
  
\- That's what I wanna know too!  
  
\- You are the only one able to understand me.  
  
\- How so?  
  
\- You like Seb and he likes you, but you also have to share him with others just like me.  
  
\- Oh  
  
\- And I ... I have always seen him speak of you with so much love and affection and I don't know what came over me, I needed to tell someone.  
  
\- Why don't you tell him? He will be very happy with the news.  
  
\- I want to wait for the right moment.  
  
\- Hahahaha that we have in common.  
  
\- Really?  
  
\- Sometimes it's better to let Seb waiting, he sometimes forgets that...  
  
\- He isn't in charge!  
  
\- He isn't in charge!  
  
\- ...  
  
\- ...  
  
\- Hahaha  
  
\- Kimi no offense, but you're taking all this very well, too well I must say.  
  
\- Don't be fooled, this news is a shock to me, but what can I do?  
  
\- ...  
  
\- As you said, I understand you, you are in his life far longer than me, I cannot erase your presence, I cannot take your place, and you will always be there.  
  
\- I feel the same.  
  
\- So, what we do?  
  
\- I don't know. I will tell him he is the father.  
  
\- He'll be very happy indeed ... Can I ask you a favour?  
  
\- Yes.  
  
\- I would like to be present ... I understand if you don't want me to, and I will respect if you say no, but I want to be present in the child's life.  
  
\- ...  
  
\- Please say something.  
  
\- Sure you can.  
  
\- Thank you.  
  
\- I didn't do it because I like you. As you said, I cannot erase you from Seb's life.  
  
\- Disputes aside, are you excited?  
  
\- Very! I'm happy too, cannot wait to see Seb's face when he knows.  
  
\- I think he'll be in shock, wordlessly and wide-eyed.  
  
\- I think he's going to faint.  
  
\- 200 Euros that he will be in shock.  
  
\- 250 that he will faint  
  
\- 300  
  
\- 400, are you still in?  
  
\- 500  
  
\- Deal!  
  
\- You're more fun than it looks.  
  
\- Thanks, you're also less rude than it looks.  
  
\- But then, boy or girl?  
  
\- Too early to say, I want a boy, but a girl is welcome.  
  
\- I have great names in mind ... Heikki, Tommi, Mika ... Kimi  
  
\- No, no, no ... I already hear your name too much for my like, I don't need a son with the same name, I'll let Seb choose.  
  
\- By Odin, don't do that; the child doesn't deserve such punishment.  
  
\- How so?  
  
\- Have you seen how he names the cars? You’re gonna let him name the child? When he hears the news, his mental retardation will be huge, and he will probably suggest a ridiculous name.  
  
\- Now that you mention it ... this is worrying. But I can not impose a name.  
  
\- Sure you can, you are the mother.  
  
\- He won't buy it.  
  
\- It will work, just say the baby kicked you when you spoke the name and that means he liked it, that you read it in some magazine, Seb will be too excited to notice.  
  
\- I'm enjoying conspire with you, you know? But how do you know so much about children.  
  
\- My brother and ... Jenni ... when we were together, I wanted to be a father, but ... didn't work in the end, nothing worked in the end.  
  
\- You will find your Hanna, I know you will.  
  
\- What arrogance.  
  
\- To stand someone with Seb's ego it is very necessary to be above it all or have an ego as large as he.  
  
\- True. About my Hanna, I don’t need another Hanna, you're enough, two of you would be a hell of headache.  
  
\- Thanks, I already feel loved and adored with the only one Kimi too.  
  
\- ...  
  
\- ...  
  
\- Hahahahaha  
  
\- Hehehehehe  
  
\- I met a girl, she looks cool, just don't know if she will be as understanding as you.  
  
\- No one is like me.  
  
\- Don't want to start a relationship hiding something.  
  
\- You won't hide anything. As far as everyone knows, you and Seb are friends, and to my knowledge still are.  
  
\- You make it sound simple.  
  
\- It is a favour I'm doing to you, since you make my situation seem simple too.  
  
\- But it doesn't need be complicated isn't it?  
  
\- No?  
  
\- No, we can live with it, understand it, I know that I arrived later, but I never wanted to take your place.  
  
\- But you turned into one more person that I have to divide Seb's attention, dedication and affection.  
  
\- I know. But know that before anything else he is my friend, I'm here to help, not hinder. If you need me, don't hesitate to call me.  
  
\- Thanks, it means a lot to me.  
  
\- No crying on the phone, or else I will hang up.  
  
\- You asshole.  
  
\- I'm.  
  
\- Rude.  
  
\- No doubt.  
  
\- Cold...  
  
\- Never, with you and Seb I will never be.  
  
\- Hehehe ...  
  
\- ...  
  
\- You like kids too, don’t you?  
  
\- Those who don't bother me I like.  
  
\- Can you give me some tips?  
  
\- I don't think I'm a good example, but I will accept the role of the cool and drunk uncle.  
  
\- I think I can accept this request.  
  
\- Really? What number should I press on the phone to confirm the request, and what is the number of my order ... I want to follow the process.  
  
\- You will monitor it, don't worry, I'll let you know.  
  
\- Glad to hear it.  
  
\- I...  
  
\- ...  
  
\- I ... well ... Hamm ... I know it's a little late, but you want to spend the New Year with us?  
  
\- With you and Seb?!  
  
\- Yes, me and Seb. I know he will love the idea.  
  
\- I appreciate, but I'm going spend it with my family in Finland.  
  
\- Kimi, I know Seb has always considered you a lot, and I know that my approval means nothing to you, but I accept you as a member of our family.  
  
\- Your approval is important Hanna. And I ... I have no words, but thank you, it means a lot to me, especially coming from you.  
  
\- Thank you for not hang up on me.  
  
\- I can still do this.  
  
\- I know it, but the fact that you didn't, makes me happy.  
  
\- Humph ... I've reached my limit of niceness for today, and you ... don't wrap the boy too much and tell him soon.  
  
\- I will, at Christmas.  
  
\- An excellent gift.  
  
\- I know.  
  
\- So that's it...  
  
\- It's ... Bye Kimi.  
  
And he hung up on her face, as she had imagined...  
He had accepted the news better than she expected, but what else to expect from a man known by his coolness.  
Furthermore, keep living sulky with each other would not take any of them anywhere.  
And he was a nice guy after all...  
  
Kimi was upset, he never stopped to think about what he really wanted, if he wanted more than just friendship, but that didn't diminish his chest tightness.  
But what else could he do but accept it with dignity?  
He put in his head that he hadn't lost Seb, but had won Hanna and one child.  
  
Being rational, that child was the answer to every single problem, and he would protect it as did and does with Seb.  
And though part of him was sad with the news, another part was extremely proud, his Seb, the smiling and skinny boy got so much in such a little time ... Seb deserved everything ... he fought for it and he achieved everything ... Hanna, F1, him, the kid ... everything.  
  
Kimi knew he had to focus on other things, he had an appointment with Mark to start his new series of exercises, and then he had a meeting with Steve and a visit to Maranello   
  
... Two years, he would be there for two years and he promised himself he would do his best years since his return to F1 ...  
And since he had time between those commitments, he thought to himself.  
  
 _"Why not?"_  
  
Picking up the phone again, he dialed the number and waited, maybe, suddenly, she was his Hanna.  
  
\- Minttu ... you're okay? Want to go out tonight?


	40. Power play

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You may be arrogant, but sooner or later you will find someone as arrogant as you, and with power and reason to be so.  
> Thanks for the kudos and comments. =)

 

Everything went as it was expected and planned, if he stopped to analyze, he would say that it didn't seem to be a FIA event...  
But he just needed to look around at those semi nude women glowing and with feathers, and then, like magic, he was sure he was in the right place.  
FIA and their need to show themselves!

But he was there because of the award...  
He knew he would win the award, who else besides him could win?  
And though Christian warned him with his eyes to not make jokes, he couldn't contain himself, climbing on the stage and he saw who was there looking at him, Jean Todt, the guy who punished him for celebrating ... he thought to himself, he's done that imitation before, it is only fair to do with the person here, live, looking at him.  
And he did so, with great pleasure, and a bit of an exaggeration ... the laughter of the people and the look of disapproval from Christian, said everything, he did it right.   
He was ready to leave, when he decided...  
Why not?   
Everyone was silent, but he would not be silenced, he would speak in front of everyone, in Todt's face, how much he disliked the direction that the F1 was taking.

When he returned to the table, after being greeted by the same man he so provoked, he noticed that all of his efforts was more for the fun, that nothing he said would have any effect, and that nothing would change.  
Todt had run over his only political opponent, and he was just a pilot, against FIA and it's president, Todt ...  
It was like David and Goliath, and in F1, Goliath always wins, except for rare exceptions, and usually at a high cost.

But conversations, prizes and taunts apart, what really mattered was watching Montezemolo ...  
Webber had warned him of something, then Kimi was even clearer, and he spent the night dedicated to perceive small details.  
He could see Webber happy with Kubica and Alonso, he could see other drivers happy with their girlfriends, and the ones with no girlfriends gathered there with friends, and he was alone, without Hanna, without Kimi ...   
Jenson was too busy with Jessica to stop more than five minutes to talk to him, and well, he was surprised when Lewis came out of nowhere.

\- Just a little more and he will fall dead on the floor ...

\- What ? Who?

\- Montezemolo ... I don't know when it started but in the last minute you didn't stop looking at him .

Now he was scared  
Was he so obvious ?

\- You know, I just came to tell you, that while I was passing near his desk I heard he was going to come talk to you .

\- Oh ... I was looking at him, and I'm looking forward for this opportunity if he comes here of course.

\- Seriously !?

\- Yes

\- Well, it's a good job opportunity if you want a change of scenery.

\- It's not that, I just want to know him better, he is Kimi's new boss .

\- If I were you ,I would not worry about your ice princess , Kimi knows Montezemolo and vice versa , they won't get in each other way .

\- How can you be so sure?

\- It's easy, while you were smiling , patting and sending looks to Kimi , we all noticed that the man who returned to F1 came back with much more political power than the one who left. Todt wants Kimi here , Ecclestone wants Kimi here , teams heads and investors too. Montezemolo would have to be pretty desperate to try anything against him.

\- I can see what you say, but better safe than sorry .

\- Sure .

\- You want to sit ?

\- No need, I'm pestering everyone today , so I'm going over there to spoil the meeting of the three musketeers . Till later.

\- See ya

\- And look who's coming here... good luck!

And there was the man in person...  
Montezemolo.   
He had to admit that the man had presence and elegance. And if there is a thing that F1 have taught him is that should not rely on men in suits that are skilled at dialogue and full of money.   
In short, virtually everyone.

\- Hello

\- Hi

\- I could not help but notice that you were watching me.

\- Good, I want you to notice.

\- Really?

\- Yes. I'd rather like you came to me and not the opposite.

\- I like your attitude. But don’t you think it's much arrogance for such a young boy?

\- I earned the right to be so arrogant. And you must have faced worse, having Fernando as your driver.

\- Latin blood. Fernando is a man of emotions; his attacks don't have the same weight from a calm and cold person.

\- He knows what you think of him?

\- He knows, I have made sure he is informed. But that does not explain why you're staring at me.

\- Like I said I wanted you to come to me.

\- For what reason?

\- Several.

\- This is too vague.

\- Nobody said I needed to be specific.

\- Well since you don't want to be clear, I will, I agree with everything you said on stage.

\- Really? So why did nothing to stop it? You have the power.

\- Having power and knowing when to use it are very different things. Why should I prevent something that can crush your domain?

\- Because this is no guarantee that the game will change, it is no guarantee that Ferrari will be better than RBR.

\- I have the resources and I have two of the best drivers.

\- But you don't have The best driver.

\- No I haven’t, but that's a matter of time, isn't it?

\- I don't know, but I like to keep the doors open.

\- Intelligent.

\- But, you have a problem in your hands, Fernando is not happy, in fact he is frustrated, and you have failed to control him.

\- This has been resolved kid. We are bigger than Fernando and his frustrations are from being unable to overcome you.

\- Well, you never know when a 2007 can happen again. And Kimi will not attack me.

\- That's what you think Sebastian.

\- I don't think, Luca, I'm sure. Moreover, the first driver he will be attacking would be Fernando, and you should know beforehand that you cannot influence him and he will not obey you.

\- You seem to be very sure. Raikkonen is ambitious, and you are in his way.

He knew that Montezemolo was right, Kimi told him that, but that doesn’t mean he had to confirm that to Montezemolo.

\- I'm in everyone's way. I'm used to it. But Kimi is a very uncomplicated man to deal with, in fact he is quite simple, and as you said, he knows how to play for the team, is loyal, and I know him very well.

\- And he knows you.

\- And I know where you're going, what we should consider is who will he help if his chances at the title end up. I would say that this person is called Vettel.

\- Vettel I want you to know that I know the driver I hired, and I will give him equal chances to Alonso to face you, I want to see how you will react when you’ll see your finn loved and familiar face stealing your podium.

\- And I want to see yours when I'm on the highest position of the podium again, while you'll be seeing your drivers implode your team.

\- I like your boldness. I also like your arrogance. And this child face hiding all of this makes you perfect in my eyes . But hear me out, Vettel, it may be in the next year, or in next 2 or 3 years, the RBR supremacy will fade eventually, and you will work for me. Because it is every driver’s wish, especially a German one who seeks records of his predecessor, and is questioned about his achievements. And when that day comes, I will open the Ferrari doors for you my boy not because you can, but because I have the power to do so, and since you have been so engaged in this dialogue, I will be honest with you, I'm above all this, I'm above Alonso, Raikkonen , and you .

\- ...

\- Good, silence is good.

\- ...

\- Silence to me is respect for someone older and experienced than you. You are still young and I see Raikkonen in some of your attitudes, but take a good look at him, look at what happened to him when he decided to stand against me.

\- ...

\- I know you are enthusiastic of the F1 history, then you should know that what I said about Alonso not being a threat is a fact, drivers come and go, some are remembered for their achievements, others not. But tell me the name of the team that has been here since the beginning of this sport.

\- ...

\- I know you know. Don't be shy, you can tell me.

\- ...

\- ...

\- ... Ferrari.

\- See it was easy, wasn't it? You understand the weight of my word, you can see me just as a man, but here today and the next 15 or 20 years I'm Ferrari. Have a good party and say to Raikkonen that I sent him a hug, and that he should not send his boy do his service.

That was an awkward conversation, he felt like he should not have started it, but it was made clear to him who Montezemolo was, it is not like he didn't know it, but knowing and actually confronting a man like that is totally different.  
He felt as if he had lost that verbal fight, and he hated to lose, he would be happy with the situation for the time being, there wasn't much he could do to respond, he would have to wait until 2014 to make Montezemolo regret his words.

He then left the main hall and tried to call Kimi, besides, it was his friend who told him to watch the president of Ferrari.

\- What are you thinking?

And there was Horner.

\- I ... Hammm…!

\- That's right you didn't think, you have no brain!?

\- Christian it's not what you're thinking.

\- I do not have to think, I saw you antagonizing with Ferrari's president. And I am not here speaking to you as a friend, but as your boss, stop it now, don't do it, don't even think about it. Let leadership’s affairs for team leaders, and in cases like this, for me or Matezshitz, and never again do something like that under RBR's name. Am I clear?

\- Yes

\- Good

_"What the fuck!"_

He felt as if the day was going from bad to worse, and how it all happened right there in the main hall and no one noticed?  
Long life to Ecclestone and his semi naked women and booze!  
And like the original idea, before he was interrupted he drew his cell phone and called Kimi.

\- Kimi! I took two scoldings today because of you!

\- Me ?!

\- You told me to watch Montezemolo, and when I talked to him ...

\- Talked to him!? Seb, I told you to watch him ... to be careful! And not to talk!

\- Yes ... I know ... Christian has already given me a sermon.

\- And he did well. But what Montezemolo said?

\- Made me think that I was in control of the conversation, just to show me at the end that he had the power!

\- Typical.

\- Ah...! He also told me to send you a hug and that you should not send one of yours boys do your job.

\- Let me handle this. But besides it, are you enjoying the party?

\- More or less.

\- What a cheer! I felt the excitement here!

\- I'm all alone here!

\- Talk to other drivers.

\- Okay.. I'll talk to Hulkenberg ...

\- Seeeb.

\- I'm joking.

\- Humph

\- Can I visit you after the end of the festivities?

\- No! You will spend your free time with Hanna, end of discussion. But ... you can come over here in the beginning of the year.

\- I understand. And I saw what you told me. Sorry.

\- Yeah, didn't I say to you, and you acted without thinking right in front of him, at least you didn't do like you did here.

\- I. .. I do not know what came over me, I'm trying to get better, I swear.

\- You better be, grab me like that again...

\- Yes .. You won't need to release the dogs on me; I'll take a tranquilizer before meet you...

\- And I will give you a heart attack because of the food, or ecstatic to see me.

\- Hehehehe ... stop it.

\- Don't do anything stupid.

\- Okay .. you too.

\- I don't do stupid things, and how is the RBR crew?

\- Christian asked about you.

\- I need to talk to him, you can ask him to call me?

\- Yes, I will tell him.

\- I think that's all ... bye Seb

\- And Kimi ... I love you ....

\- Stop goofing around and just go party!

\- Errrrhmm, I'll take that as a "me too" .... hehehehe ... I gotta get back. Goodbye.

He collided with Webber on his way back ... with no more troubles between them he just left with a slight smile.

He met Christian again, and then warned him that Kimi wanted to call him, he left Christian alone and before he noticed he was looking for his unusual company, Lewis.  
On the way he glanced at Jenson who only greeted him with his head, he knew Englishman was busy with his girlfriend, but they were so close, even at the time that Kimi was in the WRC. And now they don't talk much, still smiling, exchange greetings, but they were noticeably more distant this year, in fact, they were kind of distant since Kimi returned to F1 ...  
But while he was distracted in his thoughts, he didn't saw that Lewis stopped right in front of him, bumping into him and almost losing his balance.

\- You are distracted today.

\- I was just a little confused for a moment.

\- And then, how was the conversation with Lord Sidious?

\- Lord Sidious?

\- Montezemolo!

\- Oh, it was ... normal.

\- May I know about the contents of the conversation?

\- I'd rather keep it to myself.

\- Okay, and Kimi, how is he?

\- Okay.

\- Yeah! You talked about him without popping your eyes out and without deviating from the subject ... or you really distracted, or you trust me more. I hope it's the latter.

\- Hehehehe ... I'm more confident on the floor I'm stepping on when it comes to Kimi.

\- This good man! Really good!

\- And you have proved to be reliable, nobody is saying anything behind my back ...

\- A certain Iceman told me I should vent to the dogs, to Nicole or to you.

\- Really?

\- Really, the man can be scary when he wants. But if you two are okay, so I'm okay.

\- How so?

\- I'm safer when you two are fine, it's more unlike to me to fall victim of a crossfire.

\- Hahahaha ... Don't worry Lewis, everything is under control.

Before they could continue they heard the announcement of the closure of the festivities,  
and ended just saying goodbye to each other, Vettel soon went to his table, and there he did everything possible to make Christian crack a smile, or at least don't appear so upset with him...

He got it, he did a mistake ... but it was only one misstep, a dangerous misstep, but it was only one.  
With much effort he felt like he had come close to what he wanted, at least with Christian, because with Montezemolo he felt like he didn't even got close.

But then he heard Newey talking about their engine test, his team would do the same as Ferrari, or the other way around, but the thing was they would test a F1 engine in a adapted normal car and it reminded him that he had to call Steve.

He made a mental note; he would arrive at the hotel, call Steve and then call Hanna.  
Or maybe he should call Hanna first ...  
But if he calls her first he feared he would forget to call Steve ...

So in his mind it was decided, leave the party armed with of his mechanical responses, then smiles...  
photos...  
hotel...  
Steve and Hanna ...   
His night was far from over.


	41. Kimi's day

The kid have called him thinking that he didn't know about Raikkonen’s desire to drive a car with the new Ferrari motor ...  
It was nice, it was always good to know that the kid would tell him things concerned with Kimi.  
But the fact is that he knew about it, and was quick to end all possibilities of that before it happens.  
He won't let his driver put himself in some unnecessary danger.  
Of course Kimi have protested, saying it was his choice, and that everything is under control ...  
But come on! The finn thinks he is stupid?  
His job is to maintain his client well and competitive, and to find him job with the best package, and so he did, and if it means that he has to step on his own client, will so be it. Kimi's desires are unimportant when some things are involved.  
So he took a deep breath, and went to see Kimi personally, and was clear in saying ‘’No tests’’, no more discussions.  
He was surprised on how well Kimi had accepted it.  
He found it strange, but not uncommon, it made is job easier, so he didn’t complain.   
He clearly wanted to talk about superfluous things, but right now the important is business, so he had explained all that boring stuff that Kimi hated to hear, but now that is more than important for him to do, Ferrari is not Lotus and they both have to change the way they approached the things.  
  
Kimi's attitudes and his alternative options have to be reassigned.  
It's a price that they both have accepted to have a chance of winning against Vettel and RBR.  
And both are prepared in case they have back up the wrong option.

Apart from it, Kimi's face was a mix of emotions, for someone with an amazing poker face, Kimi always let his feelings scream in his eyes when close to people he truly confides. And right now it was a mix of sadness with pride and the best of all determination.  
He was happy, that determination is something to be respected and feared, Kimi's determination was never the fire and emotion like Vettel's or Alonso's, no, to Kimi determination means an icy cold precision, speed, and lack of care or emotion. That was the reason why Ron Dennis hade given him the nickname Iceman, and now Steve could see it again ...

When was the last time he had seen this side of Kimi?  
4 or 5 years?

Kimi was playing all this time, he was doing it because he loves it, he loves racing, but now ... now it's different.  
He was there to fight. Steve now can see someone that could challenge Vettel without fall in frustration like Alonso.  
And if he saw it, Montezemolo could also see it.

It's dangerous, but ... the thing is who will snap first, and he is not talking about Alonso and Raikkonen... No, his client had Montoya as teammate; he is accustomed to have someone with a hot temper that is also highly competitive on his side...  
What he fears and think is dangerous, is a possible fight between Vettel and Raikkonen on the racetrack, he trusts theirs capacity of differ personal from professional, but still, in the race, in the heat of the moment, it requires a coldness beyond normal to not do something stupid, he knows that Kimi has it in him, but Vettel doesn't.  
He doesn’t doubt that the kid cares about Kimi, it is evident.   
But he wasn't blind. He saw that the kid saw Kimi as a thing, a possession, so while he doesn't doubt that the kid never would hurt Kimi on purpose,  
he feared the reaction when he sees that Kimi never was in his possession.   
Everything, in part, that had happened between them was also Kimi's desire and pettiness, to his own satisfaction.  
Kimi for some reason, he didn't know and neither wanted to know, decided that he wanted the kid attention and friendship and so he would have it.   
It was like that to Salo, Kultta, Vartanen, himself ... wanting it or not, Kimi made them all feel special, because he smiled, joked, showed his true emotions to them, making them all feel like they are the few chosen ones, maybe it was true, maybe not... who knows.

He grabbed his things, said goodbye, and till next year ...  
He still had much work to do; he still had to decide Nasr's future. He left happy but also prepared, because he had a feeling that next year could be a troublesome one, all depended on the car, he could also felt that a big headache was coming, and he may not admit it, but he loves that feeling.

.  
.  
.

He likes Steve, his friend and manager let himself take decisions or at least put a lot of effort in making him believed it, so yes, he really likes Steve.

Some part of him was regretting for accepting the Ferrari test, but he won't run away from it, he said he would do it so he would do it no matter what, but a part of him was afraid...

Isn't this kind of feeling that he felt when he crashed in the WRC?

Like something telling him not do it, to run away from it, but he won't, he can't ... his pride won't let him, but thank Odin for Steve's interference, and now he was free of that, and set his mind in other matters...

Like Minttu...

Minttu... she was nice, pretty, and funny ...   
but had a hell of temper ...

A temper that have put him in that position he hated so much, being yelled at, why she did it?   
He could see the reason for her to be upset, he likes to party, he likes to drink, and he travels a lot, it's a common knowledge, and her reaction for his lack of response, and occasional rudeness left him thinking...

Jenni didn't react like that, Seb didn't react like that either...

That made him keep thinking if her temper is a reason enough for him to end this possible thing they had.  
Is he doing it because he loves her or because of Hanna's pregnancy?

In his own mind he knows that he didn't love her, but he liked her enough to seek her companion...  
She said she was sorry, that she regreted some of her outburst,  
that she didn't know how much annoyed him to be yelled at ...  
But at least for now, he could not consider her his "Hanna",   
he could not trust her some information, but he liked her enough to give it a try, he had to try, he had to move on.

Not move on from Seb, but move on from the past, he accepted the divorce  
and then just stopped trying to find someone else apart from Seb and his friends, not that he needed more, but maybe, just maybe, he could have more, he could have Seb, Hanna, the baby, his friends, and someone else to fill the hole left by Jenni.

So he would give a chance to him and Minttu.   
Wait and see they say.

As for the Maranello visit, it went quite well, he didn't like that his request for Andrea to be his race engineer was denied, but he also liked the second option.  
He liked the environment, at least the workers liked him, and he could see that from their part the next year would be easy in terms of personal relations, a good environment is what he needed, the rest he could simply erase from his mind.

He did all that was in the manuals of good drivers, he talked to everyone, signed things for their parents, smiled, laughed, and even made some jokes.  
Like he had heard before, he was inside a nest of snakes, and if he keeps acting like a lone wolf, he would get bite and would need to leave to survive, like the first time, so when Steve came with a Ferrari seat to him, he made it clear in his mind, now it's time to be not a wolf dressed as a sheep, but a snake dressed as a wolf.  
Years inside F1, years beside Seb, taught him how to be political too.

But...  
But why bother?  
He hates politics; he doesn't want to be part of it, because he knows that if he does it one time, he won’t be able to stop.  
Once you got in the politic side of the sport, you will have to remain politic...  
Is it worth of it?

But maybe that is what he is lacking, maybe it is the sacrifice he has to do to win, or at least take some eyes off him.

When he decided to return to F1 he knew what would had to face, what he would had to do.  
And he was doing it just fine, it just that in middle of year he lost his way, his physical problems, his internal problems within Lotus, and his doubt about his relationship with Seb made him lost his will to fight, because in the end he hadn’t had what to fight for, Seb had take the title chances... and for the first time he didn't feel the pleasure of seeing Seb take the title to himself...

He thought that he would fight for the title, in the beginning of the year he really thought it, but then, bad luck, bad back, problems after problems, and in the end he was just fighting to not drown himself and lost his will ...  
But after the surgery, his time away, and Seb's attitude was what he needed to find his will to win.   
Somewhere, in some moment, he let not only himself but Seb think that only Seb matters, that wasn't the truth.  
He cares about Seb, he loves the young German, and would help him, even if Seb's blind arrogance thinks he doesn't need help...  
but never he would step aside his own objectives because of him.

That was the reason it had worked so far, and they, even better he, made clear that on the track, there are no us, he will get there to win, end of it.

Seb would understand...

But then, Seb isn't really the problem, but the way the things are handled inside Ferrari.   
He was learned very well, to be aware of the political movements within the Italian team, it's not like it doesn't happen in other teams, but Ferrari is different.  
And a better proof of it was the fact of a dinner with the Montezemolo, it wasn’t in the schedule, it was to catch him unprepared ... but he simply doesn't care, he doesn't mind a free dinner on Ferrari's expense.  
He was on the hotel, lying down on the bed to pass the time, and arrived propositalmente late in the dinner, when his phone rang.

\- Hi Christian!

\- Hi.

\- How are the things?

\- Good. But first things first, Seb told me you wanted to talk to me.

\- So, the thing is, I want Seb for a day.

\- What?

\- You listened to me, soon after the festivies ,the works will start, between this, I want Seb free for one entire day. Can you do it?

\- Well ... yes.

\- Will you do it?

\- I need to know why.

\- You think that our relationship can be a problem, so I'm going to fix the problem.

\- You're gonna to break up with him?

\- We never started anything in the first place. And no, it's not it, and I would prefer to maintain it personal.

\- I don't know...

\- If you don't give me a day, I would do it anyway, you know it.

\- Still...

\- I always wanted the best for Seb, you know it, he won't be prejudiced. I would never do it to him.

\- Ok, don't make me regret it.

\- Thank you.

\- I want Seb back the same he always are.

\- So do I.

He then stayed there for some minutes, just then he moved to go to the place where the dinner would be.

Getting there, he could see, Montezemolo dressed in an expensive suit, and he using a pretty normal pair of clothes, which he knows that the Italian hates.  
And he did it on purpose, since this dinner is also done in purpose, nothing fairer, and he likes fair things.   
If he was in doubt if he should play the man's game, now he was sure that he was dragged into it, and so, he needs to get away, and maybe solve a problem or two.   
Sitting in front of the man, he thought, since he is trying to be political and also fair, the right thing to do is show Montezemolo exactly what kind man and driver he hired.


	42. The Suitman and The Iceman

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The end is coming ... I'm writing the last chapters ... Hanna, Horner, Heikki, Seb's parents, a lot of people will appear.  
> But it's gonna take some time to write it all.  
> Hope you guys are enjoying the fic ... Thanks!

 

\- You're late.

\- I know

\- I hope this isn't a common occurrence. Inside Ferrari ,we value the dedication of our workers.

\- I know. I just got late because it was a special occasion.

\- Really? You don't dress like you are in one.

\- The fact that I'm here shows you how important it is.

\- Stop playing with me boy. You tried once, and failed miserably.

\- Did I? I win the championship, and got my salary even without working.

\- You left the F1, to me it is a loss.

\- You know that my team IceOne was built with your money? Thank you by the way.

\- Good one my lad, good one.

\- I had a great teacher.

\- You weren’t that cynical before.

\- I have never dealt with you before.

\- The boy really got it from you.

\- I doubt it.

\- Humpf ... well, since I brounht him to this conversation, are you prepared to beat him?

\- I'm prepared to win.

\- Good to know...

\- It also means beating Alonso and everyone else.

\- Better remember that Ferrari comes first.

\- And me winning means a Ferrari on top. You seem to forget that I'm a team player, I always have been. I will stay on the team side till the end of my contract ... unless ... I see I'm being prejudiced...

\- We won't do it.

\- Really?

\- The past is past.

\- I share this option.

\- So why bring it now?

\- Just to show that I remember...

\- It won’t change anything...

\- But maybe it could prevent it from happen again.

\- Just don't cross my path.

\- I won't if you don't cross mine.

\- Really? You send your precious Sebastian to antagonise me.

\- I told him to watch you, not talk to you. He did it on his own.

\- You think I would fall for it.

\- I'm telling you the truth. Sebastian is not mine to control, he will do what he wants to do.

\- Well to me, it looks like that he looks upon on you, follows you...

\- He listens to me, but it doesn't mean he’ll do what I say. Whatever you're thinking. it won't work, he got a life of his own, of which I don't belong, with people that are his ground and safe heaven.

\- So what use you have to me?

\- I don't know, you tell me, you are the one that hired me.

\- I took a friend's recommendation...

\- Really? Which friend?

\- ...

\- Come on, it must be easy, don't be shy.

\- Don't mock me.

\- I'm doing what you did... Todt wants me here, Ecclestone wants me here, the press and the public too, I'm not the unwanted driver with a bad attitude, not anymore ... I'm the most popular, most desired and no matter what I do, there will be always more people on my side.

\- You seem too sure of it.

\- The problems with Lotus showed me and everyone else how right I'm in saying it.

\- They showed me I made a mistake in hiring you.

\- You didn't. I'm exactly what you need in this moment.

\- You're no Schumacher.

\- I'm your last champion.

\- One that gave me more headache than is worth of.

\- And still, you called me back.

\- I needed someone with experience and consistency.

\- No, you didn't ... you needed someone cold, cold enough that when the things start to fall apart, when the tyres and the engines started to blow, would remain cold and unaffected ... I'm that man.

\- I need someone with a fierce desire to win... you don't have Fernando's fire in your eyes; you don't have his passion, his devotion.

\- I lack those emotions, and it is what you need to beat Vettel, because he would remain calm under any circumstance. 

\- Humpf ... A handmade driver and a block of ice, what thrilling season it will be.

\- I like your irony. 

\- What's you plan?

\- None. Just give me a good car.

\- I can do it.

\- And let me change it when necessary.

\- Now, it is something that we need to think about.

\- Give me equal chances to Alonso.

\- It is in your contract.

\- Good ... Steve never ends up surprising me.

\- You didn't read your own contract?

\- Did I? Didn't I? Who knows?

\- I'm warning you ... don't pick a fight you can't win.

\- I won't, I'm just asking you to give me the necessary freedom to be in condition to win.

\- ...

\- Like in 2007, like in 2008 ... you have bought all the cards that you can, so why put your joker in the corner, if you can have it on your sleeve.

\- Hahahaha... I like your analogy.

\- It's not mine.

\- From whom it is?

\- Don't have a clue, I listened to it somewhere.

\- I also like your sincerity.

\- Well...if I liked politics, I would love your way with words.

\- It's a gift.

\- Thanks to Odin.

\- Thanks to God.

\- So?

\- We leave the past behind. Forgive me from trying to get rid of you?

\- It's no longer bothers me

\- I will give you equal terms, equal chances, obeying your contract, and you what you can offer me in return?

\- I already said it, I will beat Vettel

\- That's cold.

\- That's why you hired me, doesn't it?

\- Yes. But I have my doubts, you and him, aren't you two ...?

\- I'm Sebastian's colleague, not Vettel’s

\- Isn't the same?

\- No. On the track with our overalls, under the name of our teams, I'm Raikkonen and he is Vettel. We both were professionals, hired to do one thing, win.

\- Good to hear it. I'm putting a lot of money on you and Alonso.

\- My time here is coming to an end, I only ask for the opportunity to end my career with another title.

\- I could swear I see some emotion here.

\- I just have objectives; I don't care about the rest...

\- ... would like to see Vettel's face seeing you here, listening to your words, of how you said that you don't care. Should he felt surprised? Angry? Betrayed?

\- I like to think that I have taught him better.

\- Taught him what?

\- To be as ruthless and selfish as he is. He won't care about what I say, he would still do everything he can to win, and so do I.

\- I see ... and if you can't win, who would you assist? Him or Alonso?

\- ...

\- I'm waiting...

\- Ferrari.

\- An evasive answer.

\- To a treacherous question.

\- Humpf ... just don't give me problems.

\- I can't promise it.

\- So ...

\- ...

\- Something you want to add?

\- I want permission from you to participate in rally events.

\- Can't do that. 

\- Why not? It will keep me happy and obedient.

\- You almost killed yourself last time. 

\- It sounds like you care.

\- I spend a lot of money on you. And I don't like to waste my money.

\- ...

\- ...

\- Ok.

\- Good to hear. So I believe it is all, and I hope I don't need to remind you that if you want equal terms with Alonso, you will have to do everything he does. That includes simulator hours, arrive in time, participating in every meeting...

\- ...and don't listen to you?

\- Try to do it and you won't like the consequences.

\- Well I can do it. In fact I have accepted it all when I signed the contract. Don't worry.

\- Together we can achive great things. Don't waste it.

\- I won't, it's like I said, equal chances, I ask for nothing more.

\- To me it looks like you do.

\- Well, I have to try don't you think?

\- I agree.

\- ...

\- Tell me, what do you think of this simulator thing?

\- A waste of time.

\- I have to agree with you on this one.

\- Have you tried to change it? To return to what it was like?

\- Yes. But the money factor still being the excuse of not doing so.

\- Maybe you didn't try hard enough.

\- Maybe I didn't want to expend so much energy in a matter that FIA doesn't want to change.

\- ...

\- You're silent. First you talk non stop, now you only stare...

\- I don't have anything to add. 

\- Well, let's see what next year has for us.

\- Let's see.

\- It's a pleasure talking to you Raikkonen.

\- The feeling is mutual.

\- Ah! You're quite political for someone said to be unpolitical.

\- I don't care about politic games ... but it does not means that I don't understand it, or that I'm uncapable of doing it.

\- You should try it more. You have what it needs.

\- I prefer to let those matters to Steve.

\- A shame ... Have a good Christmas Kimi.

\- You too, Luca.

Raikkonen could not help but feel unnerved with their conversation, a small verbal fight that didn't take him to nowhere, but he hoped that at least had convinced Montezemolo that he won't be helping Sebastian, and that Sebastian won't give a shit about him ...  
It was partly true; he won't help Sebastian because his friend doesn't need his help, not when racing is concerned.

He thinks that maybe he was an asshole, that maybe he exaggerated his words, but he was provocated, Montezemolo didn't want Steve close by, certainly to intimidate him ... so be it, he saw it coming, and for more cold and laid back he may look, he is not stupid, he knows what needs to be done, and for more that he hated it, he had to play this game too...   
He knows that his equal status can be only empty words from Montezemolo, but for himself and for Sebastian, he needs to assure that he is not a target inside his own team.  
  
Soon Hanna will tell Seb about the baby, and then the media will know and with it Montezemolo, he believed that it would be a good blow in whatever the man was planning...

With this, Sebastian will be seen as a father, with a complete family structure of which he doesn't belong, where he was nothing but a friend ... no ... not a friend, less than it, a colleague in an environment where doesn't exist true friendship.  
And that is perfect, that is what he wanted the public, the media, and the teams to think.

Of course he wasn't a complete liar, he would give everything he had to beat Sebastian on the race track, and he is truly a team player, but he won't help Fernando either, he would do all he can to help Ferrari in the championship, without interfering in the other disputes ... if the title is not his, it does not matter to who it will go ...   
Of course he would be happy if it goes to Seb, but if it doesn't, well, it's not his problem.  
Now there's nothing he could do but wait, wait for the news, wait for the people reactions to the news, and wait for the moment where he would show his cards to Sebastian, hoping that his friend could understand his decisions.  
That wasn't what he wanted, but what he needed to do.  
He needed to move on.


	43. Surprise!

What is wrong?

He called Steve so preocuppied and the man acted like it was all sunshine and rainbows.

WTF?!

Well he did call and it was what mattered, he had showed his fears and concerns ... and for more that he wanted to call Kimi and to go see him, he promised himself and most important Hanna that he would spend christmas with her.

Talking about christmas, he wanted to give her a special present, so he went to look everywhere to take all the VHS that he found with the contend still watchable and send to a place to convert all to a computer file that he put in a special pendrive and cover it all with chocolates.  
There are all the images of their childhood, their time in school together, the moments that lead them to the beginning of their relationship, their unbreakable trust ...  
looking at them, Sebastian could feel deep inside his chest how Hanna was always there.  
Smiling at the memories, he finished the lasts details of his present, and while he was waiting for his car, he opened his phone and called Kimi.

\- Hi!

\- Hi.

\- I decided to call, you know, to wish you a Good Chistmas and a Happy New Year.

\- Thanks Seb, to you too. I sent your present to your home, your mother probably has it.

\- Oh ... Kimi, there's no need. I didn't buy you anything.

\- I know you didn't, but it does not mean I won't buy yours.

\- But ... but...

\- Seb, don't feel bad with yourself, I'm not mad. Enjoy your present, and your days of rest.

\- Ok, you too.

\- Bye Seb.

\- Bye.

_"Shit!! Shit! I didn't buy anything for him. How could I forget? Damn."_

His thoughts were interruped with another call, it was Heikki.

\- Have a good christmas.

\- Wow, that's all?

\- Yeah.

\- Well merry christmas to you too.

\- Sebastian...

\- Yes.

\- Don't eat too much.

\- What?!

And the line went dead.

 _"Bastard..."_ Sebastian thought with a smile on his face. Soon a message followed:

  
**_"By my calculations, you can eat all you want on Christmas, but it is just on Christmas._ **   
**_Don't abuse it."_ **

_"Oh Heikki! I love you man."_

.  
.  
.

Arriving at home, he found there not only Hanna but his parents and his bother, Hanna said to him that her parents would arrive later, and that after dinner they needed to talk.

_"What I did wrong this time?"_

But before he could go to what he believed to be his lecture of the day, his mother stopped him, giving him a package.

\- It's from Kimi.

\- Really?!

\- Yes. Such a sweet young man, he trully cares about you, we talked a lot on the phone, he said such good things about you, how you handled all the pressure and that booing thing so well.

\- Oh...

\- It's not like I don't believe Horner, but he is your boss, Kimi is your friend, if you're really having problems he would tell me. His words made me feel better.

\- He didn't need to.

\- You should like him, open your heart, tell me what you're feeling to me.

\- I'm fine mom. I was fine.

\- Ok...come on open the present.

\- But it isn't Christmas yet.

\- I'm curious.

\- Hahaha

It was a big package, but what he found inside really made him laugh, he didn't remembered that.

Inside was a baby bottle, a bib and a picture of him, looking at it with an upset face, still in his Williams overralls.

He remembered that it was a joke from the other drivers, saying he was just a baby and should not be in Formula 1 yet.   
That he too younger...  
Unprepared...

He picked the photo, and turned it, and there was something written in a terrible handwrite

**_"When they all saw a baby, I saw a man._ **   
**_when they saw trouble, I saw potential._ **   
**_Never forget the moment that brings you to where you were._ **   
**_Because I have never forgot the moment you caught my attention._ **   
**_\- PS: I know I suck at writing_ **   
**_Kimi"_ **

\- Why the baby bottle? Should I know about something?

\- What?! No. Its because of this.

His mother took the photo, and read the message, smiling she said:

\- Oh...it is beautifull. If I didn't love Hanna, I would tell you to marry him.

\- MOM!

\- Hahaha ... He cant', Seb is already mine.

\- Hanna! I didn't mean ... I just want you to know that it is my mother talking not me ... you ... you...

\- Relax Seb. I'm not mad.

\- She is a gift from heaven, or from hell, it depends of the time, but if it was me, I would beat you up for blushing every time Kimi does something nice for you.

\- It's you who started it!

Hanna stayed there, looking at Sebastian, smiling at his small and futile arguments with his mother.

So intelligent, so competetive and ruthless, and yet he was falling for his mother jokes, and he was played right into her hand.  
But the jokes stopped when his father arrived to see what was happening, the old man stopped right next to her ... a good man ... with a gold heart ...

\- You know what is happening?

\- Don't have a clue. Just enjoying the show.

\- Well...Sebastian, stop provoking your mother.

\- But ... but it was ...

\- Sebastian.

\- Ok.

Hanna saw Sebastian's father go to his wife, while she opened her arms to a defeated looking Seb.

\- Seb. Our talk.

\- Ok...

She could see that he was worried about something, maybe he suspected, but who knows, she had to tell him and now is the moment she can feel it. While walking to the room, she could still hear the old couple talking on the kitchen.

\- So can you tell me why he was acting like a five year old?

\- It's because of this...

\- What kind of joke is that?

\- Kimi's present.

\- That boy is trouble.

\- He cares.

\- It's too much to be only a caring feeling.

She could not hear the rest, right now her attention was all to Seb, she told him to stay still and look at her ... She took a deep breath, closed her eyes, only to clear her head and be prepared for better or worse.   
Opening her eyes, she looked at him and told him with firm, confident and proud words

\- I'm pregnant.

And then Seb stopped and just stared, he was in shock, appearing to be completely in transe.  
But that brought at Hanna other problems on her mind.

_"Shit, HE was right, he would enter in shock ... damn ... no, Seb, you better fall down ... Damn Seb my 500 euros!"_

And then she got close, pushing Seb so he losed balance and fell on the sofa.

_"Ok, it can count as a fall, I would call it ... technical draw"_

She sat next to him on the sofa pondering if she should do something else, or stay there since he didn't gave her any answer, but then she heard a small murmuring

\- I'm gonna be a daddy!

\- Yes. Are you happy?

\- I ... I

She tried to hold her sadness, this wasn't what she expected, but she should stay strong, with her head raised, but then he holded her, crying and laughing, and trying to say something.

\- Ittt's amazing ... I...I...don't have words!

\- So don't say anything ...

She could see him looking at her, his eyes full of water ,with his smile big, and as soon as his parent appeared ,his smile got even bigger and he told them the news.  
She could not help but feel even more pridefull, with her hand on her belly, she smiled to herself, a small part of her was thrilled because she had won a fight against Kimi, and other part of her think that such fight/dispute never existed ...   
She didn't have anything against the finn, maybe jealousy, but now it does not matter, her jealousy, her insecurities, the way that Seb sometimes was distant.  
  
Her baby is everything, so small, but looking at what it was doing, of how many people it was affecting, how many plans are being changed because of it.

So small, yet so powerfull.


	44. Vogel im Kafig

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A very difficult chapter this one, I hope the reasons are more or less clear ...  
> All I can say is, reality is a bitch, you may like it or not, it is on your right.  
> But I hope most of you understand.

Christian found it strange, but deep down he trusted Kimi, of course the end of their conversation made it easier for him to agree and give Sebastian not only one, but two free days.  
The look on his face was hilarious, even Heikki ,always so stoic, looked at him like he had grown two heads.

_"Oh dear Heikki, it looks like now I know something that you don't"_

Anyway, Sebastian is a very perspicacious young man, he looked surprised but soon asked the reason why.

\- I think you deserve it, this year will be very difficult ... but if you don't want ...

\- No, no, no. I get it. I'm already leaving.

Huovinen stayed there looking at him, the finn stayed up using his body to intimidate or so he believe.

\- Why?

\- Why not.

\- Because it's you. If it depended on you, Seb would live here at the factory.

\- Well, it's here or Kimi there. I choose the one that draw less attention from people.

\- He will visit Hanna, not Kimi.

\- Well, something tells me that those two are very aware of it.

\- He shouldn't be doing it alone.

\- We should not get involved, not yet.

\- I hope you're right, for Seb's sake.

When Huovinen left the room, Christian prayed he was also right.  
He looked at the clock, it was time to leave, get back home, kiss his wife and daughter, if he wasn't wrong, if something goes wrong it will be the first thing he will know tomorrow.

_"I should starting to do yoga or acupuncture."_

.  
.  
.

Two free days, he couldn't believe it, he felt so happy, he would visit Hanna, then his parents, then give Kimi a big hug, and ...   
you never know ...

How he missed that white skin, those small scars, the hair, the scent, how he missed his Kimi ... maybe, he should see Kimi first ... but what about Hanna and the baby?

He felt confused and divided ...  
He had said to Kimi that they would see each other before their trainings ...  
But he had his girlfriend and his baby ...

What and who is really his priority?

His rational side said it's the baby ...

His emotional one says it is Kimi ...

He egoistical side said that he should call Hanna, ask how she and baby are, and then call Kimi, warning him to be at home because he was going to pay a visit.  
Because for more that he loves Hanna, right now, with the training happening soon, and the changes, and the adrenaline, what he needs is not Hanna's sweetness ,not her talks ....  
No ... what he needs at the moment is to ease his tension, release his energy ...

He wants Kimi, wants to hold him, grab his hair, he needs someone capable to handle all his strength and all of his kink needs ...  
So he grabbed his cell phone and did what every prudent boyfriend would do, he called Hanna.

\- Hi honey!

\- Hi Seb!

\- You won't believe ... I gotta two free days, and well, are you home?

\- Oh ... I'm sorry Seb. But no, I'm at my parents.

\- Oh!

_"YES!!"_

\- Why don't you spend those two days training with Heikki...

\- Yeahh ... you know I don't think ...

\- Or go visit Kimi.

_"What?!"_

\- What?!

\- I said two days training with Heikki or visit Kimi.

\- You won't mind me visiting Kimi?

\- Why should I mind?

\- I ...

\- Go Seb. Send Kimi a kiss for me.

\- But I didn't say that I will visit Kimi.

\- You don't but I know you better than yourself sometimes.

\- Oh...

\- Kisses. Bye Seb.

\- Bye...Hanna...

Sebastian hadn't have time to be surprised, he soon found Kimi's number and called him, and to his surprise, Kimi answered immediately.

\- Hi Seb! How are you?!

\- I'm fine, thanks.

\- Did you like my present?

\- I did. Your message, the things you wrote, I ... well, where did you find that picture?

\- I asked Steve, and you know Steve, he always finds what he, or in this case me, wants.

\- Scary dude.

\- Efficient dude.

\- Well. Enough with Steve.

\- Are you jealous?

\- No!

\- You are! I can felt it through the phone ... don't worry, Steve is my manager and friend, nothing more.

\- Good. Are you alone?

\- Yeah.

\- I will visit you, ok.

\- Of course. We have a lot to talk.

\- We do?

\- Yes we do.

\- Ok ... till later.

\- Bye Seb.

Sebastian didn't waste mucj thought in the conversation, he just grabbed what he needed and prepared himself to fly to meet Kimi.  
When he arrived, he found out that Heikki had tried to call him, so he left a memo in his cellphone to remember himself of that, so he could call Heikki later ...   
right now his mind and his body could only think about one thing ...  
Kimi...

He hadn't seen Kimi since before the FIA gala, and looking at him right now left Seb scared and preoccupied ...   
Kimi have lost some weight, he could see his high cheekbones, and his eyes seems older ... that wasn't what he expected ...  
but despite his physical image, Kimi still was just as beautiful as before, and there is something more ... he transmitted joy, he looked confident ...  
Kimi came close and hugged him, and he could feel what he had seen, Kimi was lighter, not only in weight but it's like he doesn't have some preoccupations ...  
It was like ...

\- It's good to see you... I missed you so much.

\- Hahaha ... me too. You haven’t got an idea.

\- Oh I have. I won't be able to stay a day away from myself.

\- It doesn't make sense.

\- It makes sense in my head.

\- You crazy old man.

\- You insubordinate young boy.

\- I'm not a boy anymore! I'm a father!

He could swear that despite the smile, Kimi's eyes showed a little hint of sadness.  
Is Kimi sad because he is going to be a father?

\- That's amazing! I...

\- You?

\- I felt jealous of you.

\- What?!

\- You ... you're a father, and I ...

\- Kimi?! What's wrong?

\- I wanted it too ... I love children.

That isn't what he was expecting ... But his child is Kimi's child as well, the want the Finn close to him.

\- Never mind...let's get inside.

Despite the fact Kimi had lost weight , didn't change his hobby of stuffing him with food.   
Apparently Kimi bought some different kinds of food just because he was visiting, and even said that he couldn’t deny the food which was disrespectful to the host.  
All that he think was ...  
WTF?!  
And bang ... there is Kimi basically serving food for him in the mouth, smiling at him.  
With his mouth full of food Seb tried to say:

\- Youuuare weeirdi.

\- Hehehe. Just a little.

They spent the day talking about everything and about nothing at the same time.   
For that they talk, they didn't said a thing, they didn't talk about feelings, about problems, about F1 ... it was just, a chat, about movies, games, hockey, football, silly things, which was good to laugh but didn't prepare the environment for what Seb desired ...  
In fact he didn't see Kimi's desire to do such a thing... He tried to get close, a touch on the hand, a caress on Finn’s face, on his hair, but Kimi soon ended every physical contact.  
He could not help but feel frustrated. After an entire morning and afternoon just talking, he decided to take action, and grabbed Kimi's face to kiss him, he could feel Kimi trying to turn his face to the other side, and his hands pushing him without much force, so he hold the man face with more force and need, and it caused Kimi to use brute force as well to free himself.

\- Stop.

\- What?!

\- Not now...

\- But why?!

\- I don't want it now.

Kimi held his hand, giving it a little squeeze and with a sad smile said that he would do something to them ,eat before sleep, and they would talk tomorrow.  
He didn't understand, and he didn't like it at all, but he obeyed Kimi's wishes.  
After they finished eating, Kimi took him by the hand and guided them to his room, laid beside him, gave him a small kiss on his forehead, and turned to the other side, saying only "good night" and letting him with a mind full of questions and doubts, with so many thoughts that it took a while  
for him to fall sleep.

He had a dreamless sleep, waking up with Kimi stroking his hair and his beard, talking more to himself than to him.

\- You will hate me for that.

\- For what?

Sebastian could see Kimi's eyes wide open, his mouth too, like if he was saying it just because he thought that he was sleeping.  
Kimi closed his mouth just to open it again, and closed it again... still looking at him, and then from out of nowhere he decided to leave the bed, but Sebastian was fast, grabbing Kimi's wrist and using the other hand to place it in the finn's shoulder and hold him there. Using his most serene expression, he hold his breath, hold his anger, and softly spoke with Kimi.

\- For what?

\- For what I did... for what I'm about to do.

\- What you will do?

\- I'm moving on.

\- You what?!

\- I...I found someone else.

\- You what?! Please repeat it again, I don't understand.

\- I’m seeing someone else.

\- Who?

\- Her name is Minttu.

\- Minttu... I know that name! The woman that called when I was here for the last time.

\- Yes. The same one that you say it was "nobody".

\- For how long it is going on?

\- So no "sorry Kimi for didn't tell you she called." ?

\- I’m not sorry for that. For all I know it was nobody, now you're telling me that changed, so for how long it is going on?

\- Since when it has anything to do with you?

\- Since the moment you tell me that you're moving on and that it as for her. So I will repeat, how long?

\- I met her ... it was ... well, 4 months ago maybe more.

\- And you didn't tell me?!

\- I don't see a reason to tell you about this.

\- Why not!? I'm your ...

\- My what? My friend? If so I expect support and happiness from your part. I'm finally seeing someone after my divorce with Jenni.

\- But what about me?

\- I'm telling you now.

\- I’m not talking about this, I'm talking of, you know! I'm not the "someone" you are with after the divorce?

\- Seb, I have always been with you. When I was married, and then when I wasn't.

\- But now we have something different, I feel it. I know you feel it too. Why her and not me?

\- It isn't really much of a choice Seb. I did felt something different about us ... but we can't act on it, not like you do with Hanna, or me with Jenni.

\- So why didn't you tell me sooner?

\- I hadn’t seen a reason back then, and well, then I discovered that Hanna was pregnant.

\- You knew it first than me?

\- ...

\- Tell me the truth! You knew it first? She told you first?!

\- Don't blame her ...

\- I'm not blaming her. I'm blaming you!

\- For what? I did what was right, it's her right to tell you, not mine. And it's my life, my love life, not yours.

\- I'm your ... I'm your friend ... and I wanted to be more!

\- But you can't. What do you want me to do? Wait for you forever? While you have a family, a child, everything, I was supposed to stay still waiting for you to come to me when you desire?

\- I would have chosen you!

\- I won't let you do that. I won't let you destroy all you have. And I won't be alone neither; I want those things to me too.

\- ...

\- ...

\- Why are you leaving me?!

\- I'm not leaving...

\- You are! You fucking are!

\- I will always be here, for you, for Hanna, for the baby ... I'm yours ... completely.

\- No you aren't, if it was true you wouldn't tell me that you found someone else.

\- I like her.

\- But you said you love me!

\- I do, and I'm doing this because of it.

\- You don't have to worry. I will handle everything. You are the one that always said that you don't care about what the others think.

\- And I don't, but think about it, it's not only you and me, there's your family, Hanna, the baby... our actions affect them.

\- They will support us Kimi.

\- But what it will cost to them? For how much they would have to go through, just because we are being egoistic.

\- It's you that don't see it. The world supports us, they want us together, we can do it.

\- No...the world don't, some fans maybe, but we will be crushed, humiliated, used as examples, aren't we happy being just what we are? Why want more?

\- Because we can have more! You always told me that, I can, I will, I do!

\- No we can't ... be glad for what we have now, and for the fact that the ones that know or suspect don't want our bad.

\- ...

\- Do you think that it doesn't hurt me?

\- Don't know, you're the Iceman, cold as ice, no emotions at all.

\- It does hurt, hurts a lot, but we have priorities and I have choose this role, it's cruel, it's rude and may seem uncaring, but from the moment I met you ,I decided that I would be the villain if I needed to be, I would throw the truth in your face, because right now, right here, I'm the only who cares enough to sacrifice what I hold most dear ,our friendship, to save your ass!

\- But I thought that we have found what we need ...

\- And we have! You have Hanna and I, if everything goes right, Minttu.

\- And us?

\- That won't change. I'm yours.

\- No ... you will belong to her.

\- ...

\- You won't say anything?

\- I don't belong to anyone but me. I'm not a trophy. You didn't win me. You proved that you deserved my trust and my friendship.

\- So why all this?

\- Because I was afraid.

\- Of what?

\- Of you ...

\- What?!

\- Let me finish ... I was afraid you would do something stupid. That you lose your focus, and someone would push the right buttons...

\- I won't lose my focus...

\- That your arrogance would blind you.

\- But ... I ...What I did to make you think of that?

\- What you did? Are you kidding me? Your behaviour last year was more than enough.

\- I already apologised for that!

\- ...

\- Please say something ...

\- Everything is on the right pace Seb, I had a meeting with Montezemolo, we talked ...

\- You what?!

\- Stop with this "you what" thing. Anyway ... he is my boss, of course I will talk to him! And more, with this pregnancy thing, he, like everyone else, doesn't see you in the same way.

\- What is this supposed to mean? How they see me now?

\- You're a father. All that gossip, doubt and all that fan thing about us or Heikki, has lost its strength. For more simple that it may look, this baby almost ended it all.

\- Ohhh…

\- Even Montezemolo sees you on a different light, right now I'm not a tool to reach you, you're on your own, the youngest four times world champion, that nobody really likes.

\- Heyy... the people like me.

\- By people you mean the RBR crew?

\- ...

\- Don't look at me like that, you know it is truth.

\- Okay, I may be a little arrogant and the others may not like it, but I'm not here to make friends.

\- That is what I wanted to hear.

\- That I'm arrogant? That I'm not here to make friends?

\- Yes. Keep that in mind. Don't you want to win? Don't you want another title?

\- Of course I want!

\- So you understand that try to make what you have now with me something bigger, is prejudicial more to you than to me? You will throw your chances away! You will make yourself a pariah! We are into this to win, that’s the meaning of everything we do, of what you do, and you will throw it away?

\- I can have it Kimi! Trust me! I can make it work!

\- You don't understand?! That isn't what I taught you! To win we have to make sacrifices ... what I'm suggesting is not really a sacrifice, neither is an exchange of something for another, it's a simple and logical reasoning we keep what we have and don't search for more, it’s away we only have gains!

\- I don't see it as a gain. I'm losing something that I know I could have. And I don't like losing; I don't accepted losing, that's what you have taught me!

\- You have never lost Seb, that's why you don't see what I see.

\- I still don't think that one thing have something to do with the other.

\- It has. If we keep doing it, if we shattered the illusion that now it's over, that it's not like it was before, we will open possibilities for more speculations ... speculations even more cruel that would harm your image, and you already isn't much of a likeable character.

\- But...the public loves you, if I can’t do anything, you can.

\- And I'm doing it. Focus on the situation Seb, it's perfect, like I say I'm not leaving you, we can keep having what we have, but not in the way we are having.

\- Now you got me confused.

\- I don't know how to be clearer.

\- For my part ,I understand you're leaving me and trying to use the F1 and my popularity as a reason.

\- ...

\- I'm right don't I?

\- No you don't.

\- ...

\- All you talk about is winning don't you?

\- Yes. I don't want to lose anything. It includes you. I won't lose you not even to yourself.

\- So do I. I want you to win , to ... have Hanna, and I deserve to have someone too. You will become a father and with it some things that the people in general thought about us does not make sense anymore. Some of those people are Montezemolo himself, now he doesn’t see a reason to attack you using me ...

\- And then, you are inside a better environment that can give you more conditions to win, now is it more interesting winning than having you there to hurt me? So you are doing it for yourself.

\- I'm doing it for us.

\- Really?

\- Yes! I care about you, maybe too much, but it doesn't change what I am, what you are. We are F1 champions, nobody gets to this point being loved, kind, honest, ingenuous. We are selfish! And right now us means me! And since you're being blind I'm doing it for you too.

\- I don't need you help, not this kind of help, you're stabbing me in the back, to give yourself a chance!

\- I'm giving us both a chance! A chance to fight, to win!

\- ...

\- If we do something and they found out, of course I will suffer the consequences, but like you said, most the public loves me...

\- ...

\- But you? You will be the worst person in the world. You would have not only a homosexual relationship, you would be a cheater, seen as someone without heart that left his wife and child alone to be with me. Doesn’t look good in my eyes, does not look good for you, neither for your sponsors and team, one thing will lead to another, and most of it will fall over your head, not mine.

\- ...

\- ...

And then the things really made sense...  
Sebastian didn't want to listen to Kimi, but if he looks what the situation with competitive eyes, if he stops and thinks like the egoist that he knows he is, everything makes sense.  
Kimi had always told him to be ruthless, cruel, and maybe he said those things because when he has to be that away he failed and didn't want the same to happen to him.

But right now, well, Kimi is older and wiser, part of him wanted to listen, to follow Kimi's logic, other part said that the Finn is an asshole and that he would crush him on the race track just to show the older man who is the most cold and efficient pilot.

But...  
Isn’t the exact thing what Kimi wants him do to?

That sneaky bastard Finn ...

\- Ok I get it ... so what we do?

He could see Kimi giving him a smile, a true smile ...

\- We stay the way we are. Friends. Maybe something more ... but we cannot be really together.

\- But I have so many things in mind ... what I would ...

\- Marry her.

\- What?!

\- Marry Hanna! What are you waiting for? You won't find a woman like that again!

\- But...

\- Do you love her?

\- Yes.

\- Do you love me?

\- You know I do.

\- So do it for us ... you will make her happy, and me ...

\- Will you really be happy with it?

\- No. Not completely, but I will be ... in peace.

\- You make it look like you regret the step we make.

\- I don't. And I don't want it end, we can have our moments, I want it to continue. I love every single second of those moments... but it is all we can have.

\- You don't have faith in my capacity to make it work? I can have you both. It will be all right.

\- I don't doubt you. But I lack faith in everyone else, apart from a selected few to understand and don't attack us. And, in the end you would still have us both.

\- ...

\- So?

\- Okay. I get what you want, but I still don't understanding yours reasons behind this decision.

\- One day you will.

\- So this was why Christian didn't hesitated giving me a free day? You told him what you were going to do?

\- More or less, I more like threatened him, saying if he doesn't give you one free day, I would go there personally.

\- Hehehe I would like to see it.

\- Well, here we okay? Ready to move on?

\- Yes. But at the same time ... no.

\- But you will.

\- I don't think I can move on from what we have.

He could see Kimi closing his eyes and sighing, give him then one of the most beautifull smiles that he had ever seen on the finn's face. It was serene and so happy.

\- I can't deny that I'm really happy to listen to it, but like I said, we will still be together, but in some aspects we won’t.

\- That wasn't what I expected...

\- What more can we do? We can't keep longing for what it never was ...

\- I still love you.

\- Me too, unfortunately I felt like it is the cruellest of the dreams ....

\- ... the reality.

\- I'm so sorry, Seb.

\- Don't be. I didn't really accept it, but I can't say that I don't understand.

\- Can you do it?

\- I will try.

\- That's all I ask.


	45. Reise, Reise

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So ... this is the final chapter, maybe there will be a epilogue focused on the Jerez Test, but I'm still not sure.  
> Thanks to everyone that read, leave kudos and comments.  
> Thanks to the ones that have only read the fic ...  
> It's a fun, and when the creativity returns, I will return too.  
> Thanks bye.

 

Sebastian didn't know how many minutes had passed since their conversation.

Kimi had left the bedroom and Seb had stayed there, sitting on the bed, looking at the wall, trying to fully understand the situation.

The how ...

The why ...

He could feel his anger, it was there, bigger than ever ... he was angry at himself, he was angry at Kimi, he was angry with the world.

But what can he do? Nothing, that is all he can do ... So he would channel all this intern fury and put it on the race track, this is the only thing he could think of ... if his adversaries thought they have seen he being ruthless, they didn’t have a clue of what they are going to face ... he will obliterate the concurrence.

When he decided to go downstairs, he found Kimi preparing some very strong coffee, so strong that he could smell it while in the stairs.

Getting close to the Finn, he only stopped and stared, his mind clouded by his many feelings and thoughts, until Kimi started to talk

\- You're angry at me.

\- ...

\- Can't say I blame you. Can’t say I didn't expect that. If I were you, I would be angry at myself too.

\- How you know?

\- I can feel yours eyes on my back.

\- Really?

\- Yeah. I know what you're thinking. "I will crush him". "He will pay". "I will beat them all" ... all this angriness ... but angry is good.

\- How can my angry be good for you?

\- It isn't good for me. It's good for you.

Kimi turned to face Sebastian, holding two cups of coffee, giving one to Seb. And with the most expressionless face continued.

\- Anger is a feeling too, one very close and connected to love, in my own personal and disturbing experience. I would be worried if you have showed apathy to all this.

They stayed there, both sitting in opposites sides of the table, in complete silence, there was nothing to say ... from one the eyes showed only fury and a desire to fight, win and conquer, from the other the eyes showed nothing but utter boredom.

They stared at each other, trying to see who would break first, but one was an immovable object to the other unstoppable force.

\- When I arrived in Formula 1, you were always there for me, when I needed advice, or to have fun, or simple someone to talk to ... but now ...

\- When you arrived in F1, you didn't have the condition to face me. And when you had, I wasn't there anymore. We have never really faced each other.

\- Of course we did, in your return with Lotus, you were, for a time, the closest to me in competition.

\- But I was never a truly threat for you.

\- And you believe that now you will be.

\- Yes. I do.

\- Much confidence of your part.

\- No. I'm a fool. I care too much. If I was really trying to end you, I should have stayed quiet, and then when the season started and you noticed my coldness to you, while you're trying to understand why, trying to fix what isn't broken, I would have crush you ... but I ...

\- ...

\- ... I'm fool ... I let you into my house, open my heart and plans to you. Explained all the situation, and give you a reason to beat me. Where is the logic on that?

\- There isn’t.  
  
\- I know ... well this is your second free day. What you pretend to do?

\- I don't know. I mean I knew, but right now ... I think I will take a walk, refresh my head and rethink my objectives.

\- Good. I'm glad to see you so focused.

He didn't know how neither why ... his mind chose to erase the moments that lead them to it ... he remembered that he had come to Kimi's house with that in mind, but his need have changed after their talk ... right now is mind didn't care about that, doesn't care about the romantic aspect, only the carnal one.

What he didn't understand ...

What he really found strange ...

Was Kimi's dominance ... he was the one who initiated it...

Normally it would be him who would to seek Kimi out, letting his hand wander over him and give the Finn’s thigh a soft squeeze, just so the other one knew what his intentions were. But today it was different; it was Kimi who came to him.

Kimi's eyes were cold and precise, like if Finn knew what he needed even if he didn't knew that yet.

Hands had already tugged away his jacket and were now frantically working on his jeans, while Kimi's lips were still on his, tongue sloppily roaming around and claiming his mouth.

Seb kept his hands still, he would not give the Finn what he wanted, it was Kimi choice after all, he decided that he didn't wanted more, so Seb won't give him anything, no matter what.

But still something was strange, he doesn't like it, Kimi was in control now and there was nothing he could say about it?

Kimi's hands were shaking as he worked on every button. It seemed to him that the Finn had waited for him to do something, and when nothing came, he started to get nervous.

_"That's what you deserve."_

The kiss broke and the icy blue eyes moved down to see on what he was working on, clear annoyance visible now.

\- That how it's going to be?

Kimi growled out and now Seb understood why he was even more agitated and why his need had grown to this extent. He had been forced to talk about subjects he really didn't enjoy. But Seb wouldn't comment, because nothing he would say would make it better and he was afraid that a repeat of the morning talk would make him lost control and get rougher on Kimi. He did not mind it, some part of him wanted pain involved. Kimi needs to suffer ... but on the other hand, could see his friend also was in conflict with his own decisions.

So he stayed there letting Kimi do all the work. But Kimi appeared to be nervous and angry despite his own eyes didn't show it ... nothing worked along. But it isn't his fault, he was being very compliant, wasn't he?

All the while Seb had been staring at Kimi's face, seeing his expression slowly softening when everything started happened the way he wanted. His hands had stopped shaking and the same, almost the bored expression was back on his face. Kimi's nerves appeared to had calmed down.

Once the buttons were undone, Kimi let his hands slide over Seb's chest, feeling his body and the steady heartbeat. The cold pale hands then pushed the shirt over Seb's shoulders and let it slip down until he could discard it to the side. Leaning forward Kimi let his lips slide over the side of Seb's neck, his hands moving down over his stomach towards the front of his pants.

A shiver ran through Seb's body when Kimi's cold fingers slipped inside for a moment as he unbuttoned his pants. Kimi's body always felt a little colder than his own, and it made him remember how he liked that difference.

When Kimi finally succeeded in making Seb nude, he took a moment to study him as he stood in front of his German friend. He could see that despite Seb’s stubbornness to really participate, his eyes were already a bit clouded with lust, the anticipation of what was going to be next, was very clear. His lips were just parted slightly, his breathing just a bit quickened. Chest rising and falling with every breath intake. Muscles in his abdomen tightening a little when Kimi's eyes moved lower and lower. And finally a half hard length showing off that this bit of rough undressing had him turned on nonetheless.

It was then that Kimi started to undress.

In the meantime Seb tried organising his mind, he needed to focus, lost himself in lust and basics needs are what Kimi wanted him to do. The finn didn't say it, but to Seb it was clear, he won't participate, he won't give Kimi what he need ... even if it means that himself won't get what he needs.

But as more skin got exposed, Seb's need to touch got bigger and bigger. But he didn’t allow himself to do such thing ... his mind keep telling him, you're not punishing yourself, you're punishing him.

One leg was swung over Seb's and the other followed soon, he now was trapped between Kimi's body and the back of his chair. Kimi's erection was slightly pressed against Seb's stomach, but he tried to ignore that. But with Kimi on his lap, his resistance was fading. So he let himself touch the finn, but not in the way the finn wanted, he just touched those pale cheeks.

A content sigh escaped Kimi's lips as he leaned into the touch. This was what he had been craving. A simple gesture that Seb stills loves him after all, he didn't want to do what he did, but he needed, and now all he wanted was to forget.

All that they could have, and now that was lost, because of his decision ... he knows that Seb understands, but part of him needed a confirmation that nothing had changed between them ... they won't have more than what they already have, and that Seb forgive him for his decisions, that Seb trusted him enough for that.

And then those hands … Still were moving over his ass cheeks, squeezing them lightly, spreading them apart. He just wanted to move this along and to get fucked until everything was forgotten, to put it bluntly.

Seb knew this and still he took everything too slow, because that was the way he found to punish the finn. Taking his time until Kimi was ready to just fall apart.

Suddenly one hand left his ass and Kimi knew what it was going for. Putting his own arms around Seb's neck he pulled him into another kiss, groaning softly when he felt a finger slide over his ass crack. Pushing his tongue inside Seb's mouth, he tried to show off just what he wanted him to do.

And then it slipped in. Breaking the kiss Kimi groaned again, pushing his hips down on the intruding finger just to feel more of it. Dry the way it is, feeling the pain he hadn't felt in a long time. He needed this, in his own way he was angry too.

Not waiting on Seb to start moving his fingers, Kimi started to fuck himself on it, moving up and down, soft gasps leaving his lips.

\- Another

And Seb complied.

This was just so… hot. The way Kimi seemed to need this so badly. Not even being able to wait for more. It was all about the pain and pleasure now and Kimi groaned out again when the second finger was wriggled in, Seb now taking the liberty to scissor him as Kimi still kept on pushing his hips down on the fingers.

The third finger was something Kimi thought he didn't need, but it was the one thing Seb always fought over and always won as well.

So it wasn't long before Kimi got annoyed again and hissed.

\- Just put it in or I'm just going to do it with only two.

Seb was surprised, during all these months Kimi had always fought against it, but now he demanded it. Well Kimi hadn't even had to said it ... but Seb won't do it the way Kimi's want, he will do what Kimi deserves, and then he pushed the third and the forth finger in. Probably a bit too rough with the way Kimi cried a little, but the finn had asked for it. And it didn't keep him from thrusting himself down on the fingers.

Seb was watching how the eye lashes fluttered whenever a thrust hit just the right spot. Lips parted to let out soft gasps and groans whenever he pushed himself down. And then the flushed cheeks, showing off that even Kimi's pale skin could hold a bit of colour.

Without a word Kimi lifted himself up high enough so that the fingers slipped out and Seb knew what to do next. Holding onto Kimi with both hands placed on either hip he braced himself. The long nimble fingers were wrapped around his length and Kimi moved a bit forward, making his stretched hole align perfectly with the head of Seb's erection.

Their eyes met for a moment and with one last sigh Kimi sunk himself down Seb's entire length. Both men reacted the same to the sudden feeling of either being filled up or feeling the walls clench around them. Even with the prepping they had done, they needed a moment, just to get used to the feeling and relishing in it. Seb still couldn't believe how amazing it felt. But still he won't admit it, he did the minimum work, now he won't give himself the trouble, if Kimi wants this, then he takes it, because he won't give it to him

And then Kimi was moving again. His hands tightly grasped Seb's shoulders, using them as leverage to move himself up and then he slid down on Seb's length again. He repeated this action a few times, making Seb feel completely powerless as the finn kept thrusting himself down on him.

But Kimi didn't seem satisfied when he suddenly started rolling his hips as he moved up a little, his walls clenching down a little extra and forcing more noises to rumble up from Seb's throat. He wasn't sure if Kimi was teasing him or really just finding a better way to fuck himself on Seb's cock.

But looking at the Finn’s eyes, he could see a cold fury looking right into him, Kimi was clearly upset that he wasn’t participating and was doing everything he could do to force a reaction out of him.

Hips were moved back a little and Kimi had to lean forward a little to keep his body close to Seb's, but then when he moved his body down again, he had finally found the right position. Groaning out he buried his face in Seb's neck, wrapping his arms around him once more as he picked up a nice and fluent pace.

The sound of skin slapping against skin resonated through the kitchen, drowning out every noise the two men made on their own. The temperature had risen a little bit ever since they started, the smell of sex definitely lingering in the air. But it wasn't like they cared.

Who could blame them for needing such release and who better than someone you completely trusted? And who could make you forget about everything else so easily.

But for Kimi everyone would blame them ...

And for Seb, Kimi is a idiot for think that ...

Kimi's pace turned more frantic, barely able to keep it even. The need and frustration he had felt all morning was definitely coming out now. His nails dag deep into Seb's skin and his sounds became more audible. Seb wanted to tell him to calm down and enjoy it. But Kimi didn't deserved it, and Seb could see that Kimi thought the same.

Reaching for his own length he started stroking it frantically, trying to keep up with his own pace. Still having his face buried in Seb's neck, he suddenly bit down hard, groaning around the flesh as his orgasm suddenly hit him. Walls clenched down hard and Kimi's body went complete rigid. It was then that Seb needed to start moving so that Kimi could ride out his own orgasm.

Falling completely limp in Seb's arms, Kimi showed that he was spent and that Seb could do whatever he wanted.

In the beginning, maybe Seb would simple get out of Kimi and leave him there, but he also had needs, and since the Finn had take what he wanted, he saw it was his right to it so.

Lifting him up by his hips Seb stood up and laid his body on the kitchen table.

Kimi juts stared up at Seb. This was a look Seb liked on Kimi. The complete surrender, the way he slowly pulled back out of him and then slammed in hard made Kimi's face retort in such beautiful ways.

Kimi brought his hands to Seb face, looking right into his eyes.

\- You still angry, don't you?

\- ...

\- It's your right to be. But don't hold it, it will only make you feel worse.

Kimi could see Seb eyes, he could see the fury, the anger, the need to hurt, the need to vent, but also pride that didn't let it happen.

He could feel Seb's length in him and he opened his legs a little further as an invitation. He also needed this, he needed to feel that he wasn't the only one that hurt somebody today.

\- Ok. I won't hold it, but don't complain later.

Their only problem was that Kimi's pride was as big as Seb’s, he wanted it to hurt but won't give Seb the satisfaction of hear it.

Seb hands touch the pale face that looked challenging and at same time looked apathetic enough to make him angry. But it's not the touch he wants. His fingers are running through those blond hairs that should give off that sweet smell of soap, eyes that should show passion and love, and cries full of pleasure. However that wasn't the way it was.

Maybe it wasn’t good enough, but it was just the way it was and that was the way it would stay.

His blues eyes stared right the into icy blue ones.

Not even Kimi's facial expression could say more than his silence. Kimi was at his quietest in this very moment and perhaps that meant at his most vulnerable.

\- Kimi ...

Seb breathed, his lips lingering close to his neck; exposed and bare. It's what he wants to hear. Just Seb's voice was good enough, he didn't need to speak.

Seb was touching him, sliding his hands along his body and chest, across his thighs. The accident and the scars should have ruined his creamy skin, but it didn't, and it didn't stop the Seb from admiring him, desire him.

Kimi in his silence wished the touch felt more real, his body was oversensitive from his orgasm, but at the same time he felt numb from the bitterness that he felt.

Kimi drawed his eyes away from Seb's almost reluctantly looking him over with not a single sense of disappointment.

That made Kimi feel more confident, he couldn't treat his Seb much differently in the eyes of any onlookers, he had to have enough faith in Seb to moving on, and Seb have to trust him enough to know that was the right choice. Relationships were difficult enough, never mind in an environment such as their and in conditions that could pull them apart so easily.

Seb grabbed Kimi's legs, pushing them even more apart with little more force than necessary. Seb's thrust in deeper, one, two, three times. It fast enough to Kimi to feel a slight tinge of pain. It was gentle yet so rough at the same time.

And Seb continued, his pace even faster, even angrier, Kimi does not protest to any of his movements and remained in a bitter state of silence although it became difficult as the pain of stretching become more frequent, and that was Kimi he wanted and quietly wished that Seb would give him that rough friction he desperately craved. However, he knew Seb would continue to treat him like a doll that would break, despite all the fury that he felt towards him.

\- Kimi ...

Seb uttered again, breath shallow. He wanted to tell him how beautiful he was, pretty, gorgeous, but they weren't any words for this man and he doubted ... no, he knew Kimi wouldn't appreciate such a thing being said to him right now.

\- Talk to me ...

Kimi didn't respond, and Seb was running out of patience and his thrusts got deeper and deeper, faster and faster, his back arched slightly.

\- Talk to me

Seb repeated, rubbing his thumb against the indent of Kimi's bottom lip where he had bitten it to hold back his moans and cries. Still he didn't stop his thrusts.

Eventually, Seb gave up trying to get him to speak. He breathed out heavily through his nose as he moved both hands to grasp Kimi's hips and strengthen his movement inside him.

It was then it happened. Seb had to pause for moment. A soft murmur of "Seb" emitted quietly from the other man. He didn't take it for granted as his thrusts quickened; feeling himself close to orgasm. Kimi's head tilted back, exposing more of the milky flesh on his neck letting himself gasp lowly as the pace increased.

Kimi's hand moved to cover his mouth, glaring a little at Seb but without real intention behind it. Seb could see Kimi holding his voice, holding what he wanted to hear, so he grabbed Kimi's hand taking it out of mouth holding it with so much strength that he could feel Kimi's bones beneath his fingers, and thrust into him, getting almost all of himself out before pulling it back in with so much force and angry, and for the first time he could hear Kimi's voice.

\- Aaahh ...

And he did it again, again, again ... at every thrust Kimi screamed more ... till ...

\- Stop it!

And he could see Kimi looking at him, his eyes wet and desperate ... but for what ?

Seb stopped for more that he wanted it to continue, he knows that there is a limit.

\- I'm sorry ... I'm so sorry.

And hearing Kimi saying it ... he could bring himself to finish what he started, how could he?

But he felt Kimi legs closing behind him closing the gap between them, he could see and felt Kimi pain in doing it ...

\- Why?

\- Please ...

So he did, more slowly, but Kimi complained that it was worse, saying to him to go faster ... he did and soon he felt the familiar coil in his stomach as his hips jerked and his legs caved in when he came. Seb could have sworn he heard another low utter of his name.

He allowed himself a moment to catch his breath before he pulled out. Normally, Kimi's first instinct was to enjoy the afterglow briefly. But there was none of that. The Finn laid quietly in his silence.

\- Kimi?

Seb was confused by his actions and moved his hand to caress Kimi's cheek but Kimi smacked it away.

\- There is no need for it.

Kimi's voice was hoarse and cracking. He had definitely had enough. Seb was quiet and moved his hand away. He stepped away from the table ... and there was an eerie silence as he dressed himself and left Kimi as he was.  
  
That is what Kimi wanted, didn’t he?  
  
Seb had other duties he should be attending to but he was hesitant to leave.

Was it the right thing?

Was he being cruel?

Was he not being cruel enough?

Or has him being kind and doing what Kimi wanted?

Before he moved to leave, he walked over Kimi.

Seb picked up Kimi's clothes from the floor and left them at the end of the table. He grasped Kimi's face and kissed his lips chastely. And Kimi looked back at him softly ... and Seb thought it's now or never ...

\- I don't blame you ... I'm angry at you as much I'm with myself, but I don't blame you. I don’t see it as your fault.

He told Kimi before letting go. He doubted it would be of any comfort to him but he felt the need to say it anyway. He was surprised when Kimi pulled him back down for another kiss. Although it didn't come as a surprise when he bit Seb's lip harshly.

\- Thanks ... and ... see you in Jerez.

And Kimi was not amused by Seb's laughter that followed and proceeded to throw one of his shoes at him.

Seb could only think ... that was his Kimi ... and he was unable to stay angry at someone like him, maybe now he is, but he knows that the time will make this fury pass.

They did what has to be done ...

He didn't want it ...

He didn't like it ...

And so he didn't look behind to see Kimi sitting on the table grabbing his clothes and looking at him with a small but warm smile on his face ... Seb kept moving forward, doing exactly what he had learnt over his years on Formula 1, when one of the most cold and anti social of the drivers come to him with a beer in hand and a stoic face.

**_"...You don't apologize, you demand apologies."_ **

**_"... Nobody remembers the second place!"_ **   
  
**_"Don’t be like me or the other guys. Want to win? Be cold, be cruel. Be ruthless. You were the best there was, you’re the best there is, and you’ll be the best that'll ever be!"_ **

_"Yes, Kimi ... you are right all along ... I'm the best since Senna and Schumacher, there is no one like me, and like you want, you will see how I’m going to crush you and everyone else."_

As for Kimi, he just stopped there, looking at Seb leaving the house, he had seen the boy arrive, become a man, and then someone so competitive that he could not really follow anymore.

Seb was on his own, in fact, he was being on his own since 2009 ...

Kimi was in F1 for 12 years, he was in motoracing for longer than that, and he knows that Seb's dominance one day will come to an end, and he wants it to be by his hand. So he was satisfied in know that Seb will fight without any reservation or doubt on his mind, because he wants a fair fight, he will go to this season like it was his last, and he wanted Seb in his prime. He wants a really difficult challenge dispute, he wants a fight to be remembered, to felt the thrill and the fear of racing.

He doesn’t care about Jenson, Lewis or Fernando ... what he cares about is that feeling ...

That feeling of being on the limit, of the pressure, the adrenaline that he felt in his McLaren days, when he was young and was the only one that could beat Schumacher.

He wants the perfect adversary...

And in his eyes the closest one to perfection is Vettel.


End file.
